I was very good in art, just dont want to support myself with that major. Same with a few of my husbands friend, he was excellent singer and guitar player but he said he didn’t want to go down that path to support himself. It’s a hard life he said. He has been an engineer for years and when he got laid off, he did what he loves, playing and singing in a band.
Thorough response
My kid had top grades in both science and math (even though she “only” made it through AP stats- no Calc) but it isn’t where her heart is. She will graduate from college with the skills to make an excellent living- in her major or out of it (as so many do). She attends a school that offers a world class education- and loves every minute of it
This is a question we probably should be asking out kids, not each other. I’m sure there have been times that I thought I was just offering “guidance” and being “supportive” without understanding how it was being received by my child. I think it’s easy for parents to forget how much power we have; what we offer as a suggestion is often perceived as a mandate by our kids.
So, I fully admit to being the parent who started out, when he was finishing middle school, considering the impact his class selections, EC, sports, etc. would have on his college career. It took me a couple of years but I’m pretty much over it. 
It seems like some kids put pressure on each other.
Skipping precalculus wasn’t even a thing I’d heard of, but DS’s math/science/hacking club friends said precalc was very repetitive of Alg2/Trig at their school and told him how to skip it. We (the parents) put up some barriers that he had to get over to convince us he didn’t need the precalc class, since the school’s barrier (calc placement test at the CC) seemed low. Calculus BC and AP Chem this year were the classes that made him happy. Last year, it was AP Physics B that lit that spark. Now we have to figure out what math he can do for the rest of high school, but at least he’s happy with where he is in math. (And unhappiness with the slow pace of math is something we’ve dealt with every year since kindergarten, so it’s nice not to have that be a problem for once.)
Friends also convinced him to take AP Bio next year, even though it doesn’t seem like he’s all that interested in biology and had taken a summer intro to bio class at the community college. So, I thought biology was done, but he says he needs AP Bio in order to be a useful member of the Science Bowl team.
He was the one who decided he wanted the 4th year of Spanish (AP or IB here). I told him most STEMy colleges would probably be fine with 3 years.
I think I do put some pressure to focus on things he’s committed to rather than just adding more and more things. Like driver’s training…
I’m glad he’s dropped the sports team and now plays piano only for his own relaxation and entertainment. It gives him more time for the things that really interest him.
He’s taking the SAT today (makeup due to power outage), and I did push him to do online SAT prep this year (10th), but certainly not in middle school as per the OP question. He decides how much to study for tests; it’s usually not much, but enough.
@panpacific - I’m a bit confused by this question, unless it is tongue in cheek? It wasn’t a matter of “letting” him - he took, or didn’t take, what he wanted in high school…which was sort of the point. We didn’t direct his choices at all. Perhaps this made him into a more confident learner. He was…is…a bright kid who did some very cool other things in high school, also of his own accord. We will never know if he would have done those same things had he been under more academic pressure or not.
It’s not just what’s demanded by parents, what’s asked or stated. It’s also the implied, the unsaid but expressed expectation which seizes our children. So perhaps we don’t think we “push” but the context nonetheless is “you must do your best and excel”. I see it, I hear it, everyday within our own community.
Absolutely did, probably, and am sorry for it. But my parents didn’t and am absolutely sorry for it!
So I guess my lesson is, you never know what is right until it is, most likely too late. So do what you think is right. Maybe, and hopefully, it will be.
How do you make them study in a superfluous fashion?
Our main role was keeping them from overcommitting.
I think it is hard to tell where our pressure ends and her own expectations/pressure begins.
I know she wants to be the best. She wants to be (and routinely is) first in her class.
She wants to go to the best college/university she can go to.
She pursued a scholarship in 7th grade and she won 100% tuition scholarship to one of the most expensive schools in our area. She wrote the essay, took the exam and attended the interview…none of that was on us.
So do we put pressure? I think of it more as guidance. I do the research, I let her know what is required to attend the type of schools she wants to attend. I let her know that this summer she should do some PSAT and ACT prep. However, on the HS front, because she will be doing an IB Diploma (her school is fully IB) we don’t put any additional pressure/stress on class choices.
No, I don’t think too much, but maybe a little 