I have no idea how our counselor feels about social media. That would would require actual communication!
@sahmkc Now why is it divisive to report a FACTUAL account of the smartest person that I know in real life. I did not say that you could not be posting every little thing about your life and not be a kind person. My aunt is probably the most giving person I know. She is always there for you but boy does she go on and on about the greatness of her kids and now grandkids ALL the time. You can be kind and boastful at the same time. But I personally admire the person I knew who is absolutely brilliant and humble and giving. We’ll agree to disagree. You can enjoy all the sharing and I can value humility. We decided not to be part of social media and to keep our kids live’s private. They can share what they want themselves. I personally find it all too much. And kids have moved away from Facebook because they also find it too much. They call it Facebrag.
Nope. It’s annoying. One parent of a senior in my daughter’s class (2018) took the “braggert of the year award” by posting the map of all the ivy league colleges her kid visited over last year’s Christmas break, a loop of about a dozen schools in New England which included Harvard and Williams College. She commented that her son was “still undecided” when the application process hadn’t even started. I guess we were all supposed to conclude that her kid had some very impressive GPA and scores.
We get that too @pekkla … but those visits are posted by moms whose kids are nowhere near the range to get in. It’s weird… and no they don’t do it as a spoof. Kids here who are truly qualified generally don’t post those low acceptance rate visits. We do get parents who post every acceptance and every…single…scholarship.
I am not comfortable posting this stuff on FB. While I do enjoy reading the final decisions, I can do without all of the extras.
Everything that a person shares on FB has a context. You can’t compare sharing your kid’s list of acceptances with sharing news that your dog’s surgery went well. Not at all the same. In the first case, the news presents an implicit comparison with other people’s kids’ college acceptances, unless none of your FB friends have kids who are also applying to colleges.
@chzbrgr I guess the difference is that I don’t view college acceptances being as highly personal as someone’s salary. I view acceptances being more in line with posting that your kid’s baseball team made it to the playoffs. Was it really braggy of me to comment that my daughter was accepted to Arizona State on my Facebook page, in a post about our tour of UCSC, which is fairly close to our house? I think not.
I mean, look at this site. People post all kinds of details about their kids, their GPAs, SAT and ACT scores, ECs, high school class schedules, what schools they have visited, where they are choosing to ED and on and on and on. There is even a thread that lists where each kid has been accepted. Some posters even choose to join FB groups to get to know each other for “real”. Is it ok on CC simply because it’s anonymous? Why can’t people share and discuss with people they actually know?
@gearmom pretty much the gist of those against posting is that if you post acceptances or decisions before some date in May when every kid has completed the process or in some poster’s opinion if you post anything at all, you are a braggart who does not care about other people’s feelings. I found your story to be a “see this is how all kind people behave” - not like you people who need to brag about your kids. I think the judgment that people who post acceptances/decisions are braggarts and unkind to be very divisive in a community where we are supposed to be helping each other through this process.
@pekkla What if you couldn’t afford to give your dog surgery and had to put your dog down instead of giving your pet treatment that prolongs their life? Then posting your dog is recovering from surgery might be insensitive too. Given the criteria, you and others proposed pretty much nothing could be posted on FB as it might be perceived as a comparison or difficult for someone else to see.
@pekkla in any given year I DO have very few friends whose kids are applying and generally none of them to the same places as my kid(s)
A friend just posted very excitedly about her daughter’s acceptance to Agnes Scott. AS is her kid’s dream school. My kid would drop dead before thinking of going there.
It is NOT a competition. The fact that some people think it is is the saddest part of this thread.
Kind of surprised that even visiting colleges is problematic for posting for some. We visited plenty of colleges for a host of reasons. Maybe we were in the area and decided to stop by. Maybe we wanted to see what an “urban” “rural” “flagship” looked like to see if it was something we should consider or eliminate. The majority of schools we visited S did not apply to but it helped narrow his list. Is it really a problem to post that we visited a school but didn’t like it because it was too big/small/urban/rural etc?
@VickiSoCal It is NOT a competition. The fact that some people think it is is the saddest part of this thread. - like and agree million times!
It isn’t the people on this thread that are likely to try to steer your kid to the school they got into that becomes unaffordable when you see the FA package, or spreads gossip that your kid lied on their application “or how else could they have gotten in when Susie Snowflake was denied?”. But carry on. No complaining when the college admissions kibbitzers at your D’s school or in the community or even your own family makes you or your kid cry later on this spring. It won’t happen to everyone, but I bet it will happen to someone crowing happily now in this thread.
@sahmkc I support kids and parents on this anonymous site. I personally think real life is different. We can agree to disagree. I’m totally comfortable with people having other POV.
@intparent I did post all of D17’s acceptances last year, and no crying ensued. I, and some of my alumni friends, were a tiny bit verklempt she didn’t go to our school, and the families she babysits for were super sad she went 5000 miles away but that was the closest anyone came to tears.
Some I posted a FAQ like, Durham, no it is not in North Carolina, or yes, St. Andrews is only known for one thing, Will and Kate, others I just changed my profile pic to the college logo for 24 hours.
Wow, intparent…a little pre-emptive schadenfreude?
Has this thread just entered the bizarro world…where random people are accused of “spreading gossip” and “steering kids to unaffordable schools”? All by simply posting something as innocuously fact-based as “Happy for my kid, who was admitted to School X today.”
That’s it, I’m out.
I’m just glad I don’t have intparent’s friends. Geez. Accusations of lying on their app?
@sevendad Bizarro world indeed. Glad it’s not my world, my friends or my family. 
In response to the original post, I don’t mind people posting the college destination on social media as long as it’s done as a matter of fact and tactfully without boasting. I wouldn’t post all acceptances – only the destination – unless specifically asked. I posted some photos of my son’s college destination during our preview day visit for the circle of my friends who have been waiting to learn about where he’s going. I didn’t post anything about 6 other schools he was accepted to because there was no need to as my son wasn’t going to all 7 schools.
I don’t think posting about college visits is inherently problematic. Again, it’s the spirit in which it’s done. If exploratory, amusing, informational, fine… there are lots of ways to present your adventures in a way that’s enjoyable for a broud audience. But – for example – posting exclusively about visits to super selective reach-for-everyone schools as if the world is your oyster may not really come off the way one hopes.
I love seeing my friends’ vacation photos, whether a visit to grandma just down the road or an exotic location I can’t afford. Not a problem. Because most of my friends post with humor and humility and insight. But every so often there’s someone who posts ONLY about how fancy their vacation/restaurant/new appliance is, and frankly, that’s an annoying bore, and gets them hidden. Not because I’m not able to be happy for others’ good fortune, but because one-note braggarts are no fun.
College stuff is the same. I’m sure there are situations where posting the all acceptances is no issue at all. Not so much in my community, where most kids are anxiously angling for selective schools. They’re sharing with each other and happy for each other when things work out, but also deserve some measure of privacy until things shake out one way or another.
All about context.
@SevenDad, look over old posts out here. It is often people who are stunned that someone in their circle would act that way.
So, funny. Just came across this thread because my daughter has just received her first acceptance letter. After I posted to Instagram, I came on here to find out if anyone else had received a letter yet since I have never seen an acceptance letter come in this early before. I was also going to post something if one did not already exist.
Where I live, higher education is very important. The kids and parents here are very interested in collecting data about where kids get in and what their grades and scores are. It helps the kids with school selection during applications and also helps to set realistic goals and expectations. I also know that the kids constantly search here and through social media for acceptance posts so that they will be alerted to look for their own letters.
I personally posted her acceptance letter because, all of my friends on social media are ACTUALLY friends and family. I use social media to keep them connected with what is going on in my life and my family. This is a big moment for my daughter so of course I will post it. Will I post every acceptance? No. That’s like posting a pic of every pretty meal I eat. But the first acceptance letter and the letter from the school that is her top choice? Definitely.
Maybe I’m weird, but I love hearing good news from my friends and family. College Acceptance? Promotion? Comic Con Tickets? Lottery? Yes! That is so awesome!!! Do I get jealous. Hell, yeah. Does that stop me from celebrating with them? Definitely not.