Do you post your kid’s acceptances on social media?

Absolutely, and I wish more people would. I think it helps set expectations. I don’t have kids who are going to an Ivy, I don’t know anyone whose kids will be accepted at an Ivy (a few who will apply, but I expect rejections). One of the things I find particularly annoying about the college process is that a lot of parents and students have highly unrealistic expectations - and others have terribly low ones. Open communication from your friends about what their slightly older kids got in terms of admissions, rejections, merit scholarships, aid, etc., would help so that they aren’t heading into Senior year with a Harvard or bust mentality (and grades and test scores for a 50% admissions school and a college fund for an in-state public school). But unless you know, or find somewhere like this early, you have no idea.

My S took advantage of EA and was able to cut the remaining number of applications to less than a handful. But is it really fair having two rounds of applications? Does it really serve any interest of the students?

Yes, my wife does. She’s proud - not boastful Its common in my town among the Moms. That way they get to see where the kids they grew up watching are going. Nobody adds scholarship details.

I wish more people did post these–I’m naturally nosy. I get articles shared and pictures from every athletic match and play kids are in, why not academic stuff too? I do have one friend who actually shares a photo of the acceptance/scholarship letter which I find over the top! But mostly it is hush-hush on the parent social media, while the kids seem to immediately post anything/everything to Instagram or Snapchat.

Here is the other thing I don’t get about “other people waiting” - when we were waiting for my daughter to find out about any school, one of my friends daughter’s had several acceptances already. But my daughter was applying to more selective schools that didn’t do a rolling early admission - I knew by Christmas we should hear from four (we heard from three, the last has a reputation for disorganization), including her ED school (so now we’ve pulled everything else and won’t hear). So while it was nerve wracking to wait knowing acceptances where coming in, it wasn’t huge. Also, we encouraged her to apply to schools that were in her sweet spot - every kid can get accepted somewhere - so there shouldn’t be anyone who come Spring doesn’t know what they are doing - unless they are like my son who just doesn’t know what he’s doing yet (he does know its not college) or unless they have only applied to highly selective schools where luck starts playing in to acceptances.

We shared when our kids baby pictures, and when they started walking, and their first soccer game, and their middle school dance photos, and getting their braces off…why wouldn’t you share a college acceptance?

^Walking, playing soccer, going to a dance–those are experiences. That makes sense to share, to those who care about your children. Getting an acceptance is not an experience if you don’t go to that school. Attending a school IS, so it makes sense to post about the place they’re actually off to.

Just my opinion. I’m very glad social media was not a thing when my kids were getting into colleges, so this is all academic, so to speak, for me!

Class of 2018 senior, here. Not a parent, but I looked at this forum and had to chime in.

I actually happen to post the acceptances of the friends I made at the three summer programs I attended this past summer (one of which was mainly for minorities) on Snapchat and Twitter. Because of the more laid-back social setting of these programs, I’ve personally made much better friends in those few weeks than at my school right now. Well, over the past few weeks, my friends from the minorities-based program have been getting into really good schools (I witnessed 5 kids getting into Harvard and 2 into MIT the same week) and so I usually ask their permission to post since these are some of the same kids who were told that they wouldn’t get into schools (or programs) like these and I really love seeing my friends prosper. I’m pretty sure I’ve posted about 75+ acceptances over the course of the past month and since the pictures disappear after 24 hours, it seems like the best place to post them where people won’t be too annoyed. But in all honesty, what I truly appreciate about this whole college application process is the supportive group I have. Just as I support them by announcing their acceptances, they’ve spammed me with messages of “Congrats!” and I’ve only gotten into two schools that I was very certain I would receive an acceptance letter from. I even decided upload an Instagram post congratulating all of my friends who did ED are going to their top school and received some nice comments from parents at my school saying “can’t wait to see where you end up” and “your time is coming” and it’s making me pretty excited for the next few months. It really makes this whole process much more livable and haven’t been in a really bad mood in quite a while. I’ve actually been very happy. However, I’m not going post about my own acceptance until I hear from my top school in April since I should have a pretty clear decision to make. I’ve had two of my friends who got into Yale and Carnegie Mellon thank me by telling them to do the CMU summer program, so I’m happy I can be as lucky since I have similar stats to the one who got into CMU.

Getting accepted to colleges is also an experience. Opening the envelope, getting excited. Its a bigger deal to us than prom or a soccer game.

I wasn’t questioning the big -dealness of it. I was suggesting that a picture of a child playing in their first game of soccer is qualitatively different from the “X got into Y school” announcement. I get that you don’t see it that way.

I don’t see what the big deal is unless you have “friend’ed” on social media every person you’ve ever met. It’s normal to want to share good news with your friends. When my friends post on social media about their kids’ college acceptances & about where their kids have decided to attend college, I’m happy for them, not jealous.

And if you’re offended or upset by something you see on someone’s social media account, you can just unfollow or ignore them until you feel ready to see their stuff again. People should use those features more often.

People know that being accepted to college is a big deal. There are many kids going through a very difficult time because of it. Kids who are having their dreams shattered. It’s an emotional rollercoaster. There have been plenty of studies on social media leading to depression. Certainly you can have a “too bad for you” attitude feeling that sharing your own “success” of being accepted is most important. School officials ask you not to share so much for a reason. It’s considerate. The school that you actually attend will be interesting to some but offers aren’t accomplishments. They are possibilities. You don’t go around listing schools you might have attended as accomplishments. You don’t list job offers you didn’t take as accomplishments. And as my kids say, Facebook is for old people. Hopefully the new platforms are a kinder alternative since the information is not immortalized.

Around here Facebook is for parents not kids.

So the only one who is going to hurt a kid’s feelings from a parental post is their own parents sharing what they heard.

Once D decides where she will attend, then (if she permits) I will post that, but not other acceptances. That feels weird to me to post multiple acceptances.

@gearmom “School officials ask you not to share so much for a reason.”

Maybe this is your experience, but our school has never asked kids or parents not to share this information. In fact, when my son’s friend was chosen to be his representative’s primary pick for a military academy the school took a picture of him accepting the phone call in the counselor’s office and posted it on all their social media. In addition, both schools that my Ds was accepted to, encouraged students to post to their acceptance to social media and tag the school. Someone else’s success should not have to be dampened or hidden because someone else’s might experience disappointment. Many kids get EA or ED offers in the start of the process and I don’t think they should have to postpone sharing the news because it might be upsetting to those who are waiting. I can understand not posting 25 different acceptances, but posting about your ED acceptance and where you are attending should not be taboo regardless of when that decision has been made. I am just baffled by the fact that people think young adults are so fragile that they can not handle the knowledge of someone else’s acceptance. I am concerned about how these young adults will manage in the real world.

@sahmkc And did he accept the military academy? It is one thing to announce your final choice and another to post 20 acceptances or have TV reporters come for all 20 acceptances. I don’t know why kids are more fragile about postings. Maybe because they have had a Truman Show existence with parents posting everything since they were born. They are constantly on display and not much remains private. They are constantly being inundated with illusions of perfect lives around them and can’t figure out why their life doesn’t measure up. But they are more depressed.

And no one has said don’t post your final choice of where you are actually attending. @sahmkc Has one person suggested that?

Another reason to share acceptances. When we shared my daughters with our friends, we got a lot of people we know casually that said “oh, I went there” or “my brother went there.” Being able to have the conversation with alumni that we personally know has the potential to be helpful. Like others here, my daughter doesn’t use Facebook, and we are not facebook friends with other parents from her school - just our own friends and acquaintances.

Our school has never requested that people don’t post school acceptances on social media. They’ve been silent on the entire issue.

Our entire town takes pride in the accomplishments of its graduates. Last year it was known that x kids got y ivy acceptances. (These numbers were not the same as a few kids received multiple ivy acceptances.) Not everyone knew who the kids were, but everyone knew the numbers. The school system holds these numbers up as a source of pride. I realize knowing the numbers is not the same as knowing the names.

We have plenty of kids that go to CC, and a smaller number that go into the military as well.

Last week my S received 3 EA decisions. At the end of the week I posted all 3 in a single post. People were thrilled for him. People whose kids attend/ed those schools offered to provide information if asked; for some who attended we got “Go Blue!” (or if they attended the rival, we got the opposite). But it was all in good fun and good natured. I guess if someone wasn’t happy they wouldn’t respond, but judging from the responses people were very happy for him.

My D was not as good a student as my S. The kind of school she applied to was very different. But I was still excited to share her acceptances with family and friends. And the support was the same.

The bragging parents are going to continue to brag. That seems like the gist of this thread.

Yes, and the point was not all schools take this approach that you mentioned. I did say I understood not posting all of the acceptances. I’m pretty sure no TV reporters come for a college acceptance unless it way after the fact and you were accepted to every Ivy and then some. If you have a kid who has these issues then as a parent it is your job to help your child navigate this and not someone else’s job to shield them. While your child is at home you need to teach them how to handle failure and disappointment. It is a part of life. My kids are quite aware that Social Media depicts what you want it to depict. They have also experienced failure and lived, but more importantly, they have learned from their failures and disappointments.

@sahmkc I don’t think that any person has suggested that final choices need to remain private.