My daughter is set to graduate in May with degrees in medieval studies and French. She has a 3.9+ GPA and has applied for a Fulbright to continue her study of medieval history. The Fulbright is a long shot, so she is also applying to two divinity schools. (They are the only two she likes.) She also thinks she should apply for jobs, since she’s not sure any of this is going to work out. And she’s very concerned that she doesn’t really know for sure what she really wants.
I think this is perfectly normal for many, if not most, people her age. My advice to her was to take one step at a time, finishing the applications and looking at jobs that sound appealing, but to relax and let one thing lead to another. No 21-year-old knows all the possible careers out there, and it’s okay to struggle a bit with some unfulfilling work before you land in a career that you like. (My only concrete word of advice was never to take an unpaid internship, because her labor is worth something.)
But she has the sense that she is somehow behind in her self-knowledge and that everyone else has plans that are all set. She’s at an intense, high-pressure school, so there is a lot of competition, and I’m sure that some of her peers really do feel like they’ve got the next few years together. But I imagine that there are many more like her, who are just grappling with the transition from academic life to whatever comes next.
Has she met with someone in Career Development? They can both put her at ease that half of her classmates have no idea of what they want to be when they grow up AND give her practical assistance on finding a job.
And yes- she should be applying for jobs if she’s not 90% sure she wants another few years of academia ahead of her.
I’m in my 50s and still haven’t figured out what I want to do when I grow up :))
She should start looking for jobs, and then can start shaping what does wants to do. No, no 21-year old knows all the careers out there. And there are so many careers that aren’t something you specifically go to college for, but instead work your way into once you’re within a company.
Honestly, I’ve modified my career path so many times based on opportunities I’ve found once I got into companies. What I do today didn’t even exist when I was in college (I’m in technology) - she just needs to start somewhere and see what unfolds.
She does plan to meet with the career office when she gets back to campus at the end of the month. She does want to go to grad school, but isn’t quite sure if she wants to go right away. She does want that Fulbright, though!
@InigoMontoya , me, too! I got a degree in history, and ended up first as a tech writer, then a sci/medical writer, then in Christian education, then as an ESL tutor. Now my husband and I are building a brewery in our barn, and I’m planning to raise chickens. But I do remember the panic of those early years, when I decided not to go to law school at the last minute and ended up spending 5 months working in a restaurant.
Also remind her that her first job will (most likely not) be her forever job (I just had my 30 year service anniversary!). If she tries something and doesn’t like it, she can use that knowledge to try other areas.
First off your D is fortunate to have such a supportive mom. I’m glad she will go to career services when she gets back to campus. (And fingers crossed for the Fulbright!)
Hopefully as your D talks to her friend she will come to understand that many are in the same boat. My D graduated from college last year and a number of very bright and very motivated friends are still figuring things out. Some have decided to take a year to work abroad teaching English somewhere (and traveling), some are working a job they know will not be their long-term answer as they sort through options etc. Life doesn’t always take a liner path.
Why does she plan on going to graduate school? What will she do with the degree? If she were my kid, I would tell her not to get a graduate degree unless she knows what she wants to do with her degree. It shouldn’t be used as a reason for delay in getting a job.
I would ask her to start coming up with a plan on how she plans on being self-supporting when she graduates. It may mean taking on jobs she is not too keen on.
OP - what’s your plan regarding your daughter? How long would you be prepared to have her live at home? Would you help her with graduate school?
I had a serious discussion with D2 her senior fall about her post graduation plans. We talked about what it meant if she were to go to law school right after college vs working for few years first, where she would live and how we were going to fund the law school. She decided to work first (not high paying) and live at home. We agreed she would pay rent and some expenses.
Somewhat disagree with no grad school unless you know what you want. My caveat is – if it’s fully funded and you’re interested in the area, why not? If you’re not funded (tuition plus stipend) that’s a different matter.
“(My only concrete word of advice was never to take an unpaid internship, because her labor is worth something.)”
Some very lucrative government internships are unpaid.
Thanks, all. At this point, all she knows about herself is that she loves school. She really wants this Fulbright, but has some interest in being a lay chaplain (believe it or not, this is somewhat related to her undergraduate degree), which is why she’s applying to divinity school. But she’s not 100% certain about anything.
You can’t be a student forever… I guess as long as mom and dad are funding (hopefully not loans) continuing school for the sake of school is a possibility. I would not support that personally. Its important to work so u understand what working is like and that really gives you vision on what you want to do for a career.
I thought I remember you saying your D wanted to finish a semester early last year… I’m surprised she’s had a change of heart and wants to stay in academia.
Re unpaid internships: My daughter graduated from college in 2009, which was not a great time to graduate from college. A fair number of her friends wound up using unpaid internships to launch their careers. It wasn’t optimal, but it worked, and in retrospect it would have been a terrible idea for them to have turned those jobs down.
One example: The Huffington Post was (and probably still is) notorious for exploiting unpaid interns. One of my daughter’s friends worked there, and worked like a dog, for nothing. After eight months or so, they started paying him a pittance. After a year, he had enough clips and contacts to get hired as the Washington reporter for a Japanese daily newspaper. And after a couple years of that he was hired as a political reporter by a mainstream U.S. daily. Journalism is a tough career, but he’s doing exactly what he wanted to be doing, and the unpaid internship was part of the dues he had to pay. In hindsight, it was fine.
Another person I know got a job in city government after working for almost a year as a part-time unpaid intern, while holding down a full-time job for which she was overqualified. (At least her full-time employer understood that, and made schedule accommodations so she could do the internship.) The city department pretty much hired exclusively from its cadre of interns, and everyone knew that.
My advice would be more like “Don’t take or stay in an unpaid internship unless you have a clear idea how it will lead to a job you really want.”
Good luck on Fulbright! Having it on the vitae surely helps on many fronts and also gives more time for your D to think about her professional career.
Without Fulbright, I do not think going straight into a grad school without a clear idea toward a professional path is a good idea. She can work. She can take a gap year or do some noble things, say Teach for America. A grad school should be pursued with a clear purpose so that the grad school education is more appreciated and enjoyable.
“lucrative” means well paid, so I’m not sure how these could be unpaid internships.<
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@Massmomm I do not want to hijack your thread but how, for example, an internship in a US Embassy in a geopolitically important country that comes with security clearance. Should be pretty desirable for somebody interested in Foreign Service.
@garland, most of the fully funded grad school opportunities are for PhDs. That is a big committment – 5-6 years for something you aren’t sure you want, and has a big opportunity cost. It is hard on your personal life, you can’t start saving for retirement (and live close to the poverty line), and it can restrict your opportunities geographically when you are done (specialized jobs mean you can’t be too picky about where you work). I think grad school just because you don’t know what else to do is not a good idea. There are opportunity costs in giving up that 5 year window, too.
@suzyQ7, good memory! Yes, she was in France last year and was concerned about coming back to such an intense environment. But she has always enjoyed school, if not the pressure (and not all schools have this). I think she always wanted to go to grad school but wasn’t sure about the timing.She’s still not sure. There are no loans to worry about, so that’s not a concern.
But I agree that unless she’s sure about the divinity school path, it doesn’t make sense to invest the time and effort in this. We have lots of good discussion time ahead!
Well, @intparent, for instance, Writing MFA’s are sometimes fully funded. The college I work at also has funding for some of the academic Master’s programs.
I’m not saying it’s the norm. I’m just saying that it does exist.