Does this essay deserve a 12? You decide

<p>This is my essay, all spelling/grammar/diction/style errors intact. </p>

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<p>Parents often exhort their children not to judge others based on a superficial first impression. A glance at a person does not reveal his or her background, qualities, and other characteristics. First impressions can mislead us and cause us to form flawed opinions of other people. What "seems" may not in fact be what. This hypothesis can be demonstrated in examples from both literature and history.</p>

<p>The Iliad is a epic poem by the Greek bard Homer that recounts the efforts of the Achaean armies to retrieve the princess Helen from the grasps of the Trojan empire. By the tale's end, Helen has been secured, Troy has burned to the ground, and the Trojan plains are littered with the bodies of countless men. In one particularly memorable scene, some of the Achaean men hide themselves in a large wooden horse disguised as an offering the gods. Thinking the Achaeans have retreated, the Trojans bring the horse into the city and celebrate their "victory." At night fall, the men slip out of the horse and open Troy's gates, allowing the Achaean army to sack the city. The supposed idol was in fact a trap.</p>

<p>JRR Tolkien fantasy novel The Hobbit also exemplifies the adage that first impressions may be misleading. Tolkien describes the transformation of the small hobbit (who would much rather wield a pipe than a sword) from timid housedweller to intrepid hero. Bilbo is in fact the quintessential antihero, and the dwarves who accompany Bilbo on the quest to seize their treasure from the dragon Smaug constantly grumble about Bilbo's supposed ineptness. The wise wizard Gandalf excoriates the dwarves: "There is more about him [Bilbo] than you think." Bilbo quickly verifies Gandalf's words by saving the dwarves from monstrous spiders, escaping from the tunnels of the wood elf king, and ultimately retrieving the dwarves' lost treasure.</p>

<p>History also reveals how the way something seems to be is not wlays the way it actually is. President Lincoln grew up in humble beginnings, and his log cabin home is one of the most famous images in US history. Lincoln rose from his simple past to become a successful lawyer and then an Illinois senator. Despite these successes, the man was unknown on the national scale until he soundedly confronted Stephen Douglas on the issue of popular sovreignty, a debate which propelled both Lincoln and the Republican party to the national spotlight. Lincoln would win the 1860 presidential election and lead the US through the most devasting war fought on US soil.</p>

<p>As has been demonstrated by these examples from literature and history, first appearances can be misleading. To quote the well worn saying, "You cannot judge a book by its cover." The Trojan horse, Bilbo the hobbit, and Abraham Lincoln all showed these. This assertion does not mean that first impressions cannot be correct or meaningful. But being close minded about someone can limit one's contact with a potentially great person - a war hero, a hobbit turned warrior, or the next (and even greatest) president of the United States of America. Look beyond the superficialities and see the true character within.</p>

<p>It’s either an 11 or 12. I’m leaning towards a 12. I don’t see any glaring inconsistencies, and your diction/ syntax are all good. The length is considerable: did you write this in 25 minutes?</p>

<p>Yeah, I did.</p>

<p>This is my 7th practice essay though, so I’m pretty good at cranking out 2 full pages in 25 minutes (only took ~ 1 min to come up with examples). Thanks for the feedback.</p>

<p>I’m with Bigb14, I’d give it an 11 or 12.</p>

<p>Looks good. I got a 12 when I used the Iliad.</p>

<p>Sometimes they tend to give odd scores, but I definitely think you would get a double digit score.</p>