<p>This is the same topic as long as I have been on CC.
You don’t need to add any more, the list is already really long on CC. I don’t think there is any more you could add.</p>
<p>I agree with oldfort’s list and I will add - increasing dependance on technology, especially as a babysitter. Sorry, not sure what number that would be.</p>
<p>Dad II - there was an article recently in the Wash. Post about frustrated Chinese citizens swarming the Whitehouse petition site, hoping WE can do something about the pollution, power plants, and other nonsense that their government foists on them. It’s a different kind of leadership.</p>
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<p>So WHAT? There’s more to life than money. And a mindset of being able to afford some of the world’s most wonderful sights – and wasting, just absolutely wasting that opportunity because you have to sit in a hotel room and practice the same piano piece that you practice the other 364 days out of the year – isn’t admirable.</p>
<p>I’m not sure I would separate out “tiger parents” from American culture. At this point tiger parents ARE a segment of American culture.</p>
<p>Chua’s book is somewhat of a caricature, for effect, imho. </p>
<p>there are really positive elements the Asians around here, I should say southeast Asians, have brought to the culture of parenting, and, like all of us, some negative elements. But, in the end, we are a multicultural country.</p>
<p>I think acting as if these are completely separate identities is missing the point of how many people read that book, bought that book, went through that book looking for some clues. Not because they wanted to miss the Parthenon, which is a complete dereliction of parental sense, imho, but because we all learn from each other.</p>
<p>It’s the thing that keeps this country strong, imho.</p>
<p>I’m more afraid of the “cool” parents than the “tiger parents.” the cool parents sometimes put other people’s kids at risk. Somewhere in the middle is best.</p>
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<p>very well said. </p>
<p>The direct translation of China is “middle kingdom”. For thousands of years, the leading philosophy is “to be in the middle”. Yet, not all of us could really follow this simple principle.</p>
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<p>let’s look at this from another angle. By following the high expectation and discipline, the family builds a solid foundation from where the child could get ahead in his/her life. Which will enable the child to have freedom to do a lot more things later in their life. One would sacrifices a little now to gain a lot more later, in other words.</p>
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<p>Actually I am carefully preserving my copy for future uses. I plan to use it for bedtime stories as soon as the MiniXiggies are old enough to appreciate horror stories. No Grimm Bros needed. Chua will do. I will gently point to what could happen to them were they to indulge in repetitive mischief. Do you kids really want me to call Mrs Chua or become like her … should work. </p>
<p>A real goldmine of tips on how to avoid being a poor parent and a really crappy human being. Yep, priceless that book will be.</p>
<p>Hello Tigerdad II.</p>
<p>Well, I’m no Tigerparent, xiggi. Wouldn’t have worked on my kids. They don’t like to be told what to do, in a visceral way.</p>
<p>Some nights I would go to bed thinking, “God save us all from intelligent willful girls.” Solicitor General 1 and Solicitor General 2. Everything was open to debate. The trick was not to let on if it really mattered to you too much, as a parent. Otherwise you lost all of your leverage. ;)</p>
<p>But, I still think we all have a lot to learn from each other.</p>
<p>I’ve observed my BIL making his (little!) kids do their worksheets and homework (not from school) before they could have dessert or play or hang out with all of us (this was at a family holiday gathering). Of course it’s a sad sight, and it also spawns all sorts of rebellious thoughts - in US! Probably in his kids too.</p>
<p>Really, quizzing your 5 year old on the difference between Homo Habilis and Australapithicus Afaransis? I learned that stuff in college, and the vast majority of details that I learned are now believed to be different because of new fossil evidence that’s been discovered. Besides, it’s ridiculous. That kid should be playing with good toys and developing his imagination at that age.</p>
<p>Sorry, Dad II, re post #66: missing the Parthenon when one is in Athens is still ridiculous. There’s no point in claiming that is an example of high expectations and discipline.</p>
<p>I also feel sorry that the next generation up in the Chua-Rubenfeld family missed the opportunity to enjoy visiting the Parthenon with their grand-daughters and to see the girls’ reactions. Denying the Rubenfeld grandmother the opportunity to spend time with her grandchildren (at another point in the “story”) was really wrong.</p>
<p>I’m betting they Chua girls will be fine mothers.</p>
<p>A generation ago, all sorts of Eurodescendant parents believed “spare the rod spoil the child.”</p>
<p>Now, nobody thinks that. Cultures meld, here. It is the way this country grows.</p>
<p>Another Americanism:</p>
<ol>
<li>Applying the word ‘World’ to local or national sporting events.</li>
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<p>Well, my friends and relatives used to say to their kids when their kids misbehaved, “Do you want to spend a weekend at Mrs. Oldfort’s house?” My niece, being very sassy, took her mother up on it. She had a great weekend with us, but unfortunately the myth was dispelled.</p>
<p>H just emailed this to me while waiting at an airport:
[Meagan</a> Francis: A Snapshot in Time](<a href=“HuffPost - Breaking News, U.S. and World News | HuffPost”>A Snapshot in Time | HuffPost Life)</p>
<p>^LOL, Mrs. Oldfort!</p>
<p>oldfort, regarding the negative list - I am sure I have some to add. Due to recent socio-economic changes among Chinese I have seen some changes in family dynamics that has left me disgusted. Stuff that’s not open to public but runs rampant in most households.</p>
<p>Continued:
14. Supersize Anything: food portions, drink portions, automobiles, homes, etc.
15. Processed, repackaged, foods. Lean cuisine anyone?</p>
<p>Very interesting thread. We need more tiger parenting(or at least some form of it) in my community/where my dd goes to school.</p>
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<p>Oh Marian, where is a “like” button when you need it.</p>
<p>When I was 12 I started babysitting for neighborhood kids. Apparently I was not impressed with my charges because I recently came across a diary I kept at that time. At the end of each entry I would add a sentence about how my future children would be. Each day was a different virtue or expectation I had for my future children (most of these were the polar opposite of these kids I was babysitting). Here are some of them, I swear these are not made up, I wrote them in 1975.</p>
<p>1) “When I have children I will encourage there (sic,lol!) reading abilities and try to start them reading before they start school.”
2)“When I have children they will not be spoiled”
3)“When I have children I will have them do there (sic again…cringe) homework after school and have them play afterwards”
4)"When I have children I will make them study hard so the will be intelligant (sic, sigh…)
5)“when I have children I will not over protect them so they will not grow up to be brats who are mean”
6)“when I have children they will be tightly disciplined”<br>
7)"when I have children they will be the smartest at math and english and everything else at school.</p>
<p>Bottom line: I think I was a tiger mother-in-waiting at age 12!! (I also think I babysat for some monsters!) Maybe one’s parenting style is just another personality trait- I certainly hadn’t read any parenting books at age 12! </p>
<p>I definitely did more tiger parenting than cool parenting, but kept a pretty decent balance. I also ended up with one kid who basically couldn’t be ‘tamed’ once he hit high school. The most tigerish thing I did was take my kids to Kumon. Since going to college they tell me they are the only white kids they know who had to do Kumon. Although both my kids didn’t love it, they both say it was pivotal to their academic success and both swear they’re going to make their kids do it.</p>