<p>Some people choose only to afford community college. I have one daughter for whom that would probably be the best return on investment for me, but we’re going the 4 year university route. If she had retaken the ACT or buckled down and raised her GPA just a point, she would have received more merit money, so she didn’t do her part to earn this ‘better’ college. </p>
<p>Some people (many of them related to me) look at my decision to pay for this college education and question my sanity of wasting thousands of dollars when she could go to a cheaper school, learn just as much, and I could also buy a new car. I question it (as I sit here paying two tuition bills today) sometimes too.</p>
<p>Emilybee, I don’t see your friend as having strange priorities- I think she’s a prime example of someone who is financially illiterate.</p>
<p>I know many people “saving” a car for a kid who has yet to drive. They don’t understand the “carrying costs” of owning a car- even one that is fully paid up. (it’s an asset- sell the damn car already. It’s depreciating as it sits in your driveway). They don’t understand the tax implications of home ownership; use of credit; life insurance, etc.<br>
They don’t understand why certain decisions will raise their credit score and others will lower them… and then they get mad when they find out their credit score which makes buying the stuff they want so much more costly.</p>
<p>I’m sure as a single parent her priorities are sound- a roof over her kids heads; educating them to the point of self-sufficiency, taking care of her needs post-retirement. She just may not have the tools she needs to get there.</p>
<p>“But isn’t that just the point? Is there a “right place”? To you, it’s one thing. To them, something else.”</p>
<p>Obviously, which is why I would never say anything to her. It’s not my money or my kid’s education. </p>
<p>Blossom, I agree re financial illiteracy. She bought the truck a month or so before her H passed away to cheer him up even though he could hardly drive anymore (he battled cancer for two years) and I knew she would never sell it. Then she got the Audi SUV only a few months after because she doesn’t drive Mustang in winter. Ditto with the Charger - which was her husband’s baby. I just don’t understand why she has all these cars when she cannot even afford the amount of money her insurance will go up putting almost 17 yr. old on policy. She also has 4 dogs and once a month the groomer comes and does all the dogs. It’s not cheap either, as I priced it once and no way was I spending that amount of money. Not to mention the vet bills. I just picked up little dog from having her teeth cleaned and big dogs yearly check-up and it was almost $500. Last week one of her dogs had a ruptured disc in his neck and needed surgery. He spent the whole weekend at the emergency vets before being transferred to regular vet for the surgery. Had to end up being a few thousand. </p>
<p>And, imo, the decision to sell her house and buy run down farm was rash. I get that she wants a clean start, but this place is going to be a money pit. Her H was very handy and able to do a lot of work around their house.</p>
<p>The cars don’t sit. She drives a different one every day and sometimes comes home and switches and takes another car. I did mention to her that she might want to think about taking mustang off the road completely in the winter to save some money - but she told me it has to be driven at least once a month so it stays on insurance even though she only drives it 6 months of the year. </p>
<p>If you think OP shouldn’t be discussing the priorities of someone else, then by all means don’t participate. Otherwise, what anyone chooses to post within the TOS is their own business. It is up to the rest of us to engage or not. </p>
<p>“It’s not my money or my kid’s education”.–EB</p>
<p>And I too keep my mouth shut on most everything. But sometimes it is my money because I can’t stand by and watch a kid drown in their parent’s stupidity. I consider it a “personal” scholarship/loan. The closer to home it hits the harder it is to ignore. </p>
<p>@Hunt
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To add my own interpretation of this case: by far the most likely explanation for financial decisions that don’t seem well thought-out is that they simply weren’t well thought-out. I myself make such decisions all the time.</p>
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<p>I agree. Since I come from a family of 7 kids and H comes from a family of 8 kids, we do get to see more deeply, but not perfectly, some odd decisions. one thing I’ve noticed is how having at least one impulsive, rather self centered spoiled spouse in a marriage can really lend itself to these situations (new cars, frequent/extensive unneeded remodelings, high-maintenance/pricey grooming costs, expensive food/dress tastes, etc.</p>
<p>What did they do to their kitchen that cost 40K? Demolish that part of the house and rebuild it? Even with all new appliances, new countertops and cabinets, new paint, I’m not seeing how it’s possible to spend 40K. Did they plate their counters in gold? </p>
<p>I want to see what has to be the world’s most amazing home kitchen. Do you have a picture? </p>
<p>Also, what is the value of a 40K kitchen? Let’s say cooking at home costs 2/3 the cost of eating out. That means they have to spend 80K on groceries before they recoup that over eating out? So let’s say $80/person/week, that’s 1000 person-weeks, or a little over 6 years for a family of 3 over eating out? With that money invested making 7% annualized that becomes about 8 and a half years. That’s also with the assumption that their kitchen before was worthless, and they were unable to cook anything in it. </p>
<p>Are you serious, Vladenschutte? One can easily re-do a kitchen and spend $40,000 and it doesn’t mean that it’s now Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. Especially if you wind up relocating plumbing. Heck, I spent that amount to finish off my basement 20 years ago and for that amount of money I got absolutely nothing that was fancy – dropped ceilings, indoor-outdoor carpeting, a small mini-bar area with very basic countertops, sink, and my husband’s old college dorm fridge set in, and a storage area and extra bedroom carved out of the space. The intent of our basement was simply to be a playroom for our (then small) children so it wasn’t meant to be a showroom at all (and it isn’t). But that’s simply what things cost. $40,000 wouldn’t even remotely come close to “the world’s most amazing home kitchen.” </p>
<p>^^ No kidding. Has anyone looked at the cost of a simple counter-depth refrigerator? Good grief! It makes living in that cardboard box under the bridge almost seem attractive.</p>
<p>My kitchen is tiny - 10x8 and it cost around $50K (complete gut job) Did a pretty basic remodel, basically same footprint and it didn’t involve moving any plumbing. I did open up back wall of kitchen and do a family room addition, but I’m not including that cost in the $50K. Labor is the most expensive cost. </p>
<p>Guess I just misunderstood the price of such remodeling. These amounts just seem insane to me. I just don’t see how you could get 40K or 50K of utility out of remodeling a kitchen. Can anyone explain it to me? </p>
<p>“Some people choose only to afford community college.”
-By far not the cheapest option at all. CC do not have as much resources as 4 year colleges with lots of Merit awards available. We would have paid more if D. went to CC, she was on full tuition Merit award at state public and another private offered her $27k / year in Merit awards. Doing research (I have spent about 2 years on it) could be very rewarding in both finding the perfect personal fit for your kid as well as being the cheapest one.
But it is absolutely nobody else’s business how people spend their money. They might want to buy a ring for few hundreds of thousands, so be it. It is government stupidity to offer loans, parents have nothing to do with the fact that responsibilities and the risks that used to be on the private shoulders are moved to the taxpayer’s shoulders. And they also became much more expansive after this conversion, our government will never loose an opportunity to grab as much of taxpayer money as possible and stick it the personal pockets of all kind of overblown number of gov. employees. But what it has to do with the personal decisions of the family. Maybe we better pay more attention to who we elect than stick our noses where they do not belong at all - private family life. </p>
<p>Well, the choices are not usually college or a kitchen. I mean, if you’re spending 50K to spruce up your space you probably own a pretty nice house and could find a way to finance college if that was the goal. Choosing not to is a decision.</p>
<p>I have a friend who’s blowing 50k on a wedding for her daughter, but son has to borrow money for college. It certainly wouldn’t be my priority. A one day party versus the years it will take to pay off the college loans. </p>
<p>Taking out that much loan debt could be a good move if the college is substantially better than the public flagship in their state and if the child has high ability and motivation and would take advantage of the opportunities. What’s more important than helping a child reach their potential? If anything, I would question an untimely kitchen remodel.</p>
<p>We wouldn’t have spent anywhere close to $50K if we weren’t opening up the back wall of kitchen & dining room to enlarge house. I live in a 1950’s ranch (was about 1500 sq. feet before addition) and all the rooms are quite small and boxy and house had no flow. We lived here 16 years before doing a thing to our house - except very cheap kitchen redo - repainted cabinets, put in peel & stick tiles over linoleum floor, and laminate counter tops. We did all the work except putting in counters and the tiny breakfast bar we had built so we could at least eat in the kitchen. </p>
<p>We have put in approx $150K since 2005. We put in all new windows, finished half the basement, new roof, new siding,new furnace (you have no idea how expensive to heat with oil when your furnace is 55 years old,) and then the kitchen with family room addition and deck and all new landscaping in both front & back. I still haven’t done the big bathroom or the half bath. We are thinking of adding a master bedroom & bath, too, but all that has to wait until emilybee@#lifeaftertuition. </p>
<p>I am always very perplexed whenever I watch shows on HGTV and they talk about remodeling practically a whole house and they only want to spend $45K or some equally ridiculous low figure. </p>
<p>We did it in three stages so was spread out. We refinanced mortgage and took out the cash for it. Our mortgage is still only $1000/month. Obviously, we never moved up from starter home and plan to age in place. We couldn’t even rent an apartment for what our mortgage runs us. </p>
<p>We did nothing extremely fancy schmancy, either - even kept ceiling only 8 feet in addition, no fireplace (have one in the living room.) pre-finished hardwoods in kitchen & family room, etc.</p>
<p>In some cases–when the remodel is not simply cosmetic–it’s a quality of life issue. I lived without a dishwasher for three years after I downsized to a house half the size of my previous one–one adult, two teenagers, and two large dogs in 1200 square feet. (Of course I moved to my smaller house precisely so I could set aside more money for the kids’ college.) The kitchen was (and still is) TINY. It had the cheap original plywood cabinets from the ‘40s. Some of the drawers didn’t open or didn’t close. The tile countertops were crumbling and as I mentioned earlier the exterior wall had gaps that allowed mice in, which of course is disgusting and unsanitary. Not having a dishwasher–while cooking all the time to save money–was just exhausting. As a single parent working full time with two busy kids, it just became too much. So I made the decision to spend $7500 on an Ikea kitchen with Barbie-sized appliances (which allowed me to squeeze in a dishwasher). If people want to judge me because I now have $7500 less for my kids’ college expenses and they might have to take out that much in loans, go ahead. I would still make the same decision again if I had to.</p>
<p>OP here: No, the parents aren’t planning on moving soon. And I can certainly see wanting a nicer kitchen. This is a very good kid, not a troublemaker and not mouthy.</p>
<p>When it comes down to it, I think they might be trying to get their kid to transfer to the state university where the cost will be lower. One of them made a comment about transferring. And there was a comment about the need to work before grad school so the debt doesn’t pile up even more.</p>
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