<p>im still heartbroken over a 16-year-old from the internet whose friendship i lost back in august. </p>
<p>back in august he just stopped talking to me abruptly and didn't talk to me until early in january due to the ways i acted. i SUFFERED through those months. it hurt so much. i was very badly heartbroken. my heart wasn't broken, it was mangled. i would just lie there or sit there for hours each day thinking about him and feeling sick, then i would email him and feel a little better, not as sick. but then the sickness would come back as bad as ever. i had like half a dozen really low points, where the anguish got really bad and prolonged, with the rest of the time still being low still but with me not hurting as much.</p>
<p>i thought since he started to talk to me again i could move on because of closure and stuff, and i did stop feeling so bad. i was deliriously happy to not feel that way anymore. it really did help me like nothing had helped me since he'd stopped talking to me. when he emailed me again i felt so much better. not back to normal all the way but i saw that being back to normal was in reach. </p>
<p>but now im not sure, he's not really talking to me again though not exactly ignoring me, and the heartbreak has started to creep back, which is very related to me thinking things are hopeless, which i've started to think more, seeing that things won't go back to how they used to be, or that how they used to be was not what i thought it was, so there's nothing for it to back to, and going forward is impossible because im too much of a flawed tooth-chipped person for that.</p>