Concern for BGF

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>This may seem petty and overdramatic, but I'm actually concerned and need some advice here:</p>

<p>I've known my BGF since beginning of our freshman year (we're now juniors). I've liked him on and off since we met, and a few weeks ago we started moving in the direction of being more than friends. He's had some depression issues in the past, but I was under the impression that things were more under control at this point. Well, he told me this morning that he's been expelled from our school because of his grades. This is actually the second time this has happened, last spring he was able to appeal it on the basis of his depression, for which he started getting treated over the summer. He plans to appeal this expulsion as well, but really doesn't know on what grounds. He broke up with his former GF of almost two years over the summer, and I guess he had a lot harder time with it last semester than I realized. </p>

<p>Anyways, he told me that he really likes me, and implied that I am one of the only reasons that he now has to stay at school. That scares me, because I was happy with the way things were going between us but was content to take things much slower. Regardless of whether or not he gets the appeal to stay at school, I don't feel like I can be in a relationship with him until he gets some things figured out. However, I'm afraid what's going to happen if/when I tell him that. He has been and will remain my best friend, and I want to be there and support him because I know how much he needs it right now, but I also need to think of myself and the goals that I have for myself in the future. </p>

<p>Anyways, my biggest fear right now is that if I put a halt to this thing, he'll end up doing something terrible like OD on his depression meds. I know I need to do what I need to do, but it's a legitimate concern I have. He's in counseling, but I'm afraid that all the factors combined could be just too much and in a moment he'd do something horrible to himself. </p>

<p>Not sure what type of advice I'm looking for, but some outside perspectives would be nice.</p>

2

<p>What does BGF stand for?</p>

3

<p>"best guy friend" I'm guessing....I didn't know either.....</p>

4

<p>Why do people on this site always choose to use these random and complicated acronyms rather than typing a few extra letters?</p>

5

<p>^I was just wondering that. Is it really that hard to type daughter instead of D, or best guy friend instead of BGF? </p>

<p>This isn't a text message...</p>

6

<p>This is a hard situation, for sure. You seem to have a clear head about it. Your concern is completely legitimate. Make sure he knows that you care about him deeply, but wouldn't be able to commit to him unless he could make a commitment to HIMSELF to get better as well. Frame it so that it's clear you actually want him to get better.</p>

<p>Do the best you can to be there for him as much as possible without sacrificing too much of yourself. Outside of that, if he's in a really bad place, there is a possibility he might do something to himself and if he's at that point you really wouldn't be able to stop him. You really do sound like you know what to do and are dealing with this extremely well - just have faith that things will work out. Good luck!</p>

7

<p>"^I was just wondering that. Is it really that hard to type daughter instead of D, or best guy friend instead of BGF?</p>

<p>This isn't a text message..."</p>

<p>Glad I'm not the only one...</p>