Dorm - one student moves in first........

<p>does he/she wait for other roommate/s to come before establishing specific room/space?</p>

<p>First, let me start off by saying that I do not have a child that is entering college this year, but I have been perusing websites and looking at dorm descriptions. When I went to school, there weren't any suite-style dorms at my college, and most rooms looked identical, with no apparent "better" part of the room, per se, to argue over.</p>

<p>I'm just curious to find out what people have experienced during the move-in process. If there is a suite-style dorm with various room options (two doubles, one single, etc.), what were some stories of move-in processes? Did the first arriving student set their things up where he/she wanted, or did they wait until all roommates came before deciding on a specific location? For those that connected beforehand, did they come to decisions before move-in?</p>

<p>For the record, I'm not a parent that would get involved with those types of squabbles ("Now kids, let's see if we can all come to a fair conclusion ). I just want to hear about first hand experiences, that's all. :)</p>

<p>While we didn’t need to deal with this directly last year, several good friends did. In the best case scenario, the students were in contact beforehand and texts about room side were exchanged. In one case photos of the room were sent and they chose. I know that some schools expect students to wait, but it doesn’t seem to be fair to wait for several days.</p>

<p>In my experience, if you arrive first, you need to choose a bed, dresser, desk, and closet (or side of the closet) and put your stuff away quickly, because if you don’t, your stuff will be all over the place and it won’t be possible to move around the room. </p>

<p>If your roommate strongly objects to your choices, you can always move things around later. </p>

<p>As for suites, in my experience, students are usually pre-assigned to specific rooms, especially if there’s a mix of higher-priced singles and lower-priced doubles.</p>

<p>My daughter was the first to move into her dorm suite last year. She was assigned a room of the suite but not a specific bed. They had not discussed which side of the room each would get. She just picked a side and moved in. A week later her roommate moved in and had no issues. It’s not like there is much space anyway! They are small and the furniture is the same for everyone—at least in hers.</p>

<p>I saw this topic and had to share DD’s experience. At the LAC she attended ( 2012 grad), the school instructed all freshman what the date for move-in day was and the times the dorms would be open. As with many schools, a phalanx of upperclassmen were waiting at the curb to help unload everything and take it to your room. When we opened the door to the dorm, DD’s roommate had already moved in ( the prior day) and had selected the side of the room, that IMO and DD’s was better. My issue was only student athletes were theoretically allowed to move in early, but the mother of the roommate had decided the rules did not apply to her daughter. Unfortunately, that attitude was a preview of things to come, and DD had a less than optimal freshman experience ( in dorm living). If , as kidat1 had done, and the girls had talked in advance with regards to plans, a totally different atmosphere could have been achieved. In reality, the mom of the roommate was a big part of the problem.</p>

<p>My kids moved in early because in both cases they attended orientation right before classes started. They chose a side of the room, a bed, a closet, a desk and drawers in the dresser (only one dresser).</p>

<p>You know…as long as the first person doesn’t take more than half of the space, I don’t see a problem. DS’s room was exactly the same on both sides and nothing could be moved. DD’s beds and desk could be moved, but really, the room did not have a nicer vs not nicer side. </p>

<p>Both of my kids used their HALF of the space, and the roommate had at least half left.</p>

<p>For my older two, the arrived, they chose a bed, desk, dresser and moved in. It’s like summer camp. You get there, you stake out a spot and get your stuff out the way so the next person in isn’t tripping over your things. In my opinion, it would be very silly and in extremely poor form to start off a year long relationship by grousing that your roomie “got” the better half side of a 10 ft. x 10 ft. room. They got there first…there’s no reason to hang around. Work out the issues after a few days. </p>

<p>As far as suites for freshman, usually they are preassigned. e.g. Bed A, Bed B, Bed, C, Bed D or something like that that corresponded to the configuration of the suite and the amount of $$ paid for e.g. if you paid for a single, you got the single etc.</p>

<p>My kids are always the first to move into the dorms. It’s because we’re usually traveling a long distance, so stay in a hotel the night before the move-in date. They choose a side, being careful to stay on their half of the room. When the roommate shows up, they mention that they are willing to swith sides at semester break. And, yes, they have actually made the switch. Before the move in date, they usually discuss whether to bunk or loft the beds, but have always agreed to leave the beds apart.</p>

<p>In the older ND dorms the two sides are exactly the same - with one very annoying exception. There is one sink in every room at the foot of bed on one side which impedes access to the one closet and crowds the desk/study area on that same side.</p>

<p>Freshman year we arrived first, so S chose the other side of the room. The guys decided to room together again Soph year, and agreed that my S would take the “sink side” that year. </p>

<p>Last year my S studied abroad so it was a non-issue, and now this year he and this same roommate are moving into a 2 bd/2 ba apt. One bd is much larger than the other - and they have already agreed how to handle that situation.</p>

<p>Both years S’s roommate arrived first and picked a side. S is pretty easy going and didn’t really care.</p>

<p>At D1’s college freshmen and their parents were sternly warned by the school not to pick a bed, dresser, etc. until all roommates were present. I saw a nasty argument break out between two mothers when one girl in a nearby room failed to heed this rule.</p>

<p>I think this was particularly important at this school where many of the dorms are very old and with oddly-shaped, asymmetrical rooms and suites.</p>

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If your daughter had arrived first, presumably she would have picked the better side. I’m not seeing the difference. SOMEBODY had to get the better side.</p>

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<p>If you’re stuck with this situation, you had better make sure that your student doesn’t pack any stuff in containers that you would want to take back home with you. If your student arrives first, he/she can’t unpack until the roommate arrives, and that might be hours or days. You want to be home by then.</p>

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<p>Not everyone is this inconsiderate. As a sophomore, my daughter lived with a random roommate. My daughter arrived first (by several days). There were two non-identical wardrobes; she took the smaller one. She also put their shared refrigerator under her bed (the beds were elevated to allow storage beneath). The combination of these two choices gave her much less storage space than her roommate had. On the other hand, she strongly preferred one bed (the one that was not next to a window) over the other, and she took it. But her roommate got the better deal on two out of three things and didn’t seem to mind sleeping by the window.</p>

<p>It depends. At some schools, some rooms do assign the actual beds. Most don’t. Eidited to add, if a school has policies of both or all roomies to be present before selecting a bed/side, then that is what should be done. If a student can contact the room mate first and a preference gets worked out, fine. But otherwise, it’s first come, first serve. </p>

<p>If it’s bunk beds, yes, it can matter, especially if a student has vertigo or physical issues. Like if one has a broken leg upon arriving, I would imagine that even if the first person to get to the room would give up that lower bunk under those circumstances. Also, when the rooms are set up so that they are mirror images of each other, one might prefer the side that the door opens towards as the view goes to the right side first when someone enters the room. </p>

<p>It was not an issue with us ever.</p>

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<p>My kids always picked the bed by the window.</p>

<p>My daughter was in a suite - two bedrooms, a common room, three girls. They were strangers to each other but figured it out before they met in person. One girl had sleeping issues but she was nice about it but the three agreed she could have the single room, the two other two girls took the room with bunkbeds and they switched between top and bottom at the semester break. When we got there we were the last ones to arrive and the common room was full of luggage and parents - it was sweltering hot. We basically dropped daughter’s bags off and then we left and got some dinner and picked up toiletries she needed then we went back and the parents and girls were still there sorting things out. It helps A LOT if you don’t bring so much “stuff.” When we picked daughter up the next day everyone was moved in and the girls had arranged their desks in the common room and bought some rugs together. I think the kids work it out so much better after the parents butt out. My daughter had the least desired top bunk but she said she volunteered for it so we figured she’d adapt. When they were supposed to switch bunks at the semester break she decided she didn’t want to switch. I think she felt at home in that top bunk.</p>

<p>But now she rooms with friends and they always switch it up to make things fair. There always seems to be a single and a shared room and they take turns - although my daughter always chooses to stay in the shared room - she likes the company.</p>

<p>My daughter was assigned to a double room in a suite. When we arrived early in the morning, my DD’s roommate was not in the room but she had already picked a side, finished unpacking, decorated her side and made her bed. I guess she was allowed to move in earlier because she is an international student. No big deal. What annoyed me though is that her roommate decided to place her huge floor lamp right beside my DD’s bed and plugged her lamp into one of my DD’s electrical sockets because roommate already used up all of her socket-outlets. I didn’t want to have an argument so my H left and bought an additional power strip and extension cord for the roommate. </p>

<p>I moved roommate’s lamp to her side and placed my DD’s mirror and shoe rack in its place. I plugged roommate’s lamp to the power strip, which I plugged to her wall’s socket-outlet. I actually organized her plugs. When roommate finally showed up, I flashed a huge smile, shook her hand, told her I was glad to meet her, etc. etc. and finally told her I moved her lamp because my DD needed her space and informed her that we bought a power strip and extension cord for her. Her response? No, not a thank you but instead she asked us if we were thinking of buying a fridge and electric fan for the room.</p>

<p>My D and her suitemates drew names out of a hat prior to room selection to determine the order in which they chose bedrooms (private bedrooms). They were in 4 different cities, so one roomie drew the names and let the others know. So when my D arrived for move-in, her bedroom was already set. She arrived before a couple of the other girls and chose upper cabinets in the kitchen and bathroom because her suitemates were a couple inches shorter than she was. If when they had arrived they wanted the upper cabinets she would have been happy to switch as she preferred the lower ones and had chosen the higher ones only because she figured she could more easily reach them.</p>

<p>We were fortunate in that D’s suite-style living situation was so nice that even the “worst” room was nothing you could complain about.</p>

<p>Here is another thread on this topic: <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1357678-move-day-etiquette-first-come-first-served.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1357678-move-day-etiquette-first-come-first-served.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>In both of my d’s freshman year arrivals we were there first and selected our side of the room. For older d, she had a double in a dorm in which there were many forced triples so it was just a matter of selecting a side of the room as they were identical and neither was better than the other. For younger d, she was in a forced triple although the dorm rooms were over-sized doubles. When we arrived the room was configured with a single bed on one side, and bunk beds on the other with the desks lined up down the middle. Three stand-alond huge dressers, two on one side of the room and the other on it’s own. Without question we selected the single bed. In both of my d’s freshman year arrival orientation schedules, there was a convocation called for late in the day that Sunday. Older d’s freshman roommate arrived just before the convocation and same with one of younger d’s roommates. Other one had parents who worked for the university and she was familiar with school and the campus. The other one arrived late, when they were shutting down where you needed to go to get ID and deal with paperwork but younger d took her over there. The parents were first unloading her stuff from RV they had rented when it was time for students to meet with their hallmates and RA and go for first dinner… RV was too big for space where you had to pull-up and they were offloading onto some side area and carrying by hand. All the upperclassmen student unloader/helpers were long gone by then.
Had we all waited for everyone to arrive and decide what to do or draw straws for the single bed and side of the room, all of us would have created problems … as you were supposed to be finished and out by that point.
Actually and I am 100% serious… …that roommate’s father is a " made man" in the Mafia and they live about 20 minutes from us… so happy we were finished and having a nice dinner somewhere else at the time…</p>