<p>We are storing the whiskey DD brought DS for his birthday several years ago. I confiscated it! 
He knows it is there for him when he turns 21 in a few months. 
We let both kids drink a little bit in the house (legal in our state), but definitely no drinking and driving. DS would text us and spend the night wherever he was so that no driving was involved.</p>
<p>We visited S1 at school and took him out to eat (at a dumpy Mexican restaurant near campus that he frequented) soon after his 21st b-day.
Now we have known S1 drinks (but never in front of us) ever since he left for college but somehow it really felt odd for him to be eating with us and order a beer to go with his meal âŠand we paid for it.</p>
<p>I havenât read the previous posts so donât have any idea if mine will be repetitious or not.</p>
<p>Prior to age 21: not legal. Period.</p>
<p>Older than 21: Legal.<br>
Truthfully though âto drink or not to drinkâ never really seems to come up when my two oldest (both over 21) come home. My 23-year-old d ordered a âgirlyâ drink on a couple of occasions when dining out - my son, never.</p>
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<p>Well, they do grow up-we have to accept that. Not saying you are required to offer anyone alcohol in your own home, though. Itâs easiest to say âwhat can I get you to drink?â If they are legal and ask for alcohol and you have it onhand and were planning to serve it to others, it would be rude to deny it to them just because you have a hard time accepting that they are now an adult. âYouâ being in general, not specific to you personally.</p>
<p>"I havenât read the previous posts so donât have any idea if mine will be repetitious or not.</p>
<p>Prior to age 21: not legal. Period."</p>
<p>Clearly, Ignatius you havenât read the previous posts. You are mistaken. There are states that legally permit consumption of booze for those under 21, under certain conditions Semi colon; legally it isnât as clear as âPrior to age 21: not legal. Period.â</p>
<p>I must say itâs one of the more ârefreshingâ alcohol threads in years.</p>
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<p>Well, hopefully #63 wonât change that. It amazes me how many adults still donât realize that alcohol laws are different in different states when it comes to serving in a private home, and then attempt to simplify it into a black or white issue.</p>
<p>When it comes to my 19 or 20 year old children drinking a beer at home, we will decide without any regard to whether it is âlegalâ or not. If there are police snooping through the window, weâll just have to take the consequences.</p>
<p>I really do think parental approach is crucial to this discussion and the decision. When S was about 16 we went to Ohio to visit my SIL. We all went out to dinner and apparently it is perfectly alright to serve your child wine if you order a bottle for the table. Here, thatâs not OK. But my niece seemed all too thirsty throughout the evening for my taste and my SIL seemed rather oblivious or humored by it (or a little bit of both). My niece seemed intent on proving she could drink, whereas our S at 16 thought she was ridiculous. Throughout the weekend she had the tendency to be a tad too much of a drunk and I completely disapproved of my SIL acting like it was somehow perfectly fine since she was present. It was a family wedding, which is always a good time on either side of my family. However, I wouldnât have been very humored if any of my kids (of age or not) ended the evening with slurred speech. My parents were both the oldest of very large families, and admittedly, my uncleâs weddings (five of them) were always a great opportunity to have a couple at the age of 16&17 at the open bar. But I think it was HOW we did it that had our parents using peripheral vision instead of a heavy stare. There is a balance to be found. We all wonât agree, but we also all have different families, different expectations of behavior within that family and different kids. </p>
<p>Anyway⊠my point is really that it all depends on the kid/family. I would have no problem with my son having a beer with dinner at this point if we were out. On the other hand, my niece at 20 still seems to associate drinking with the invitation to over imbibe and act slightly goofy. Not falling down or ridiculous, but definitely goofy. Truth is, and based on family gene pool, she worries me on a couple of levels. :)</p>
<p>Yes, Moda, it is legal in Ohio, as I said in post 14.
It can be beer, wine, or booze, and can be served by glass, bottle, can, or (theoretically) by bucket in public, as long as it is the parent that gives it to the minor.</p>
<p>I know that in practice a server might knowingly serve a minor if the parent has ordered it for them, or if the parent is there approving. But strictly speaking by law, the server must serve it to the parent who can then give it to the minor.</p>
<p>This is also true for a married couple. If one is 21, he/she can order 2 drinks and legally give one to his spouse, who may be under 21.</p>
<p>I am not offended by the law itself, Younghoss. My point is just because itâs the law doesnât mean you have to ignore behavior. Youâre still the parent and I felt my SIL was not being one. At the time she made the argument about having traveled extensively in Europe etc and that this was a similar âteachingâ moment. I saw it also as a teachable moment but would have taught something different. There is a difference between having wine, beer, liquor as a compliment to an occasion or meal and having wine, beer and liquor as the centerpiece.</p>
<p>Like I said⊠I have no problem with son having a beer, but Iâd be singing an entirely different tune if he was ordering shooters and six pack.</p>
<p>I started this thread, and have enjoyed more mature and common-sense advice than I could have hoped for.</p>
<p>One of the great benefits of this site is the realization to me that many, many parents are going through the same things that I am and share the same concerns and values that I do.</p>
<p>As any other experiences/observations come up, please share themâthey have been a great help so far. To quote Dr. Frasier Crane, âIâm listening.â</p>