<p>If this really is a parent, then the most constructive piece of advice I have is to turn the decisions about this student over to someone more capable, knowledgeable and mature. The school is doing a better job of parenting than the parent.</p>
<p>I thought my advice was great. You should be dancing for joy that they didn’t kick your daughter out of school. I also think that this is a small price to pay for them not to kick her out. Have her get a job this summer or at school to help pay you back what you are spending on her counseling. She should be held accountable.</p>
<p>I also think you need to get over the fact that you think this is normal college behavior. Who cares? Your are trying to justify her behavior. Everybody does it, blah, blah, blah. She was caught FOUR times. Believe me if my kid had been caught a second time there would have been serious consequences at home. If there had been a third time, they would have been home & going to a community college.</p>
<p>Heartbreaking was dealing with Lucifer in real time here on College Confidential as he tried to convince the world that college students could safely drink the way he did.</p>
<p>Ditto pugmadkate, lots of parents act like this.</p>
<p>“However, a bill was recently passed that addresses this very issue in terms of mental health. I think it says something like mental illness and drug and alcohol treatment are to be treated as any other illness. So if they aren’t covering it in accordance with the policy, you probably have grounds for appeal of coverage.”</p>
<p>California parity bill only covers about 7 specific psychiatric diagnosis, and in general, mental health coverage does not include primary substance abuse diagnosis. If a mental health provider uses a substance abuse diagnosis under mental health coverage, they will not get paid.</p>
<p>Parents act like this but they tend to be a little better at writing!</p>
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<p>It was terrible that we CC parents were right in the end.</p>
<p>And so one wanted to be right about it, either…</p>
<p>Honestly, if someone can’t write by the time they hit college, what’s the chance they’ll ever master it? A total aside, but I recently looked at papers that earned A’s at an average college and I couldn’t believe my eyes!!</p>
<p>I’m not as pessimistic about learning writing as you are, hmom5. Lots of liberal arts colleges have freshman writing seminars to teach their students to write better. I hope and believe that by the time my son graduates from his liberal arts college, he’ll have written a lot of papers and be a much better writer than he is now.</p>
<p>Idad, those of you trying to straighten out Lucifer didn’t succeed, and that’s sad. But maybe some other students learned from his tragic example.</p>
<p>*i read your posts but i stopped posting because i found it to be a complete waste of time because i could not extract an single bit of information that I found useful. *</p>
<p>That certainly is a possibility when asking for advice- particulary when those giving the alternate perspective are trying to be actually helpful and not just rubberstamping the original opinion.</p>
<p>However, there may be others reading this thread who are interested in gauging what is " appropriate" behavior- and turning a blind eye to a young adult who uses substances enough to get in trouble for it- just because their parent doesn’t want treatment for substance use to interfered with the 4-yearplan, is not healthy behavior.</p>
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<p>Addict issues aside (although I agree there are plenty of warning lights here), a bigger issue here is a also life lesson to be learned about consequences of behavior.</p>
<p>Fact 1: Your daughter engaged in behavior that was against school (and probably state) rules. She did this multiple times.</p>
<p>Fact 2: Your daughter chose to go this school and when signing the enrollment agreement, she agreed to live by the rules of the school and accept the discipline handed out by the school for violating the school rules. Her failure to understand this is not the fault of the school.</p>
<p>Fact 3: You are not responsible for her failure to comply with the rules of the school. She is now an adult. You are not legally required to be funding her rehab. You did not sign her papers to enroll. If she has to take additional loans to complete rehab as required by the school, it should be upon her to do so if she wishes to continue at that school. </p>
<p>If I read your original post, you were complaining about the cost of therapy sessions ($150). By paying for these sessions, you are taking away the punishment for breaking school rules. What are you teaching her. That you can break the rules mommy doesn’t agree with and she will cover your backside when doing so? How is that going to make her a responsible adult? </p>
<p>Now if neither of you have the financial wherewithal to pay the price for her transgression, I would suggest that your daughter talk to the school about finding a publically subsidized rehab program that is acceptable to them. If the school is inflexible in this regard, and the money isn’t there, perhaps the punishment of having to withdraw will demonstrate a life lesson (don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time) better learned here than in the criminal court system after failing to follow rules in the greater society.</p>
<p>While the rest of us reach out with an open hand to try to engage you so you can understand the bigger picture with regards to your daughter’s behavior, you continue to shout back and shake your closed fist at us looking for an easy out.</p>
<p>Open your fist and perhaps the anger you have will be comforted by those who understand and sympathize.</p>