<p>I did ask about this at one school. It was a school we had no intention of actually sending our kid to so I didn't care if they thought I was crass or not. They told me that drug and alcohol use is not that high but that it is present. When it is discovered the students are disciplined and parents notified. On the other hand - they don't do anything about sex. There were no rules at this particular school about that. Kids will do it or not depending on their own morals. They did tell me that they had not had any pregnancies. Considering how many teen mothers I see around town that was astonishing. Either they're not being truthful, or the kids actually use condoms. I also asked them if they would take my daughter for an abortion without notifying me the way a public school in our state would - and they said no, they absolutey would not do that.</p>
<p>
[quote]
we are mature enough to make that decision
[/quote]
I have to disagree. A 14 or 15 year old is not mature enough to make the decision to drink or do "light drugs" as you put it. At least not in a responsible manner. If they were, the drinking age would not be 21 and those "light drugs" would not be illegal.</p>
<p>I don't mean just the education should give you the right. My point is that drinking or sex or lets just say driving laws are all in place to protect the least prepared/mature/intelligent individuals. Think about the dumbest person that you have known in your entire life, then realize that the law has to extend to protect them as well that top 1% of people. And in regards to the pressure, I am not talking about social pressure. I mean to form a more perfect union you need to have laws that are flexible enough to ensure the safety of over 300 million people. You cannot accurately place different sets of laws on different people and people would be offended that one person because of their maturity could have privileges that others do not. Equality for all. </p>
<p>PhotoOp:
Ya I know what you mean... I know girls that have gotten abortions, but the school has never actually done it for a student... That is definently a no-no. </p>
<p>Linda:
Those were not my words, but I see some truth behind the drinking age and such. I mean this is not the place, but if people are able to handle drinking then I can see some light in looking at the situation and realizing that, "They are even more qualified to handle the consumption of alcohol than most 20 year olds." I am not saying people should or that drugs should be used... But the fact remains that some kids could probably handle it better than people that have 10-15 years on them. How am I supposed to admit with clean conscious that age is the only requirement to certain activities that are illegal because of the need for discretion in partaking in these activities.</p>
<p>O Ok, well my response was based on drug use. If were talking about drinking, sex, or driving then I could see where your coming from</p>
<p>the point is that you can control yourself. If other kids really want to have sex, they will do it and they will eventually face consequences. The only time I would intervene is if one of my friends were doing drugs.</p>
<p>"Thank you for letting me represent myself, your honor.</p>
<p>While I don't deny the charges, your honor, I think it is important for the court to know that I attended St. Smedlaps and H#t***** U.
For this reson I am better able to make decisions than the average moron and... Wait, those cuffs are too tight! Your honor, why are they taking me away? Ow, that hurts! Your honor, wait, let me start over! In order to form a more perfect union! Your honor...Mommy!"</p>
<p>There's still a HUGE problem if drugs are prevalent and you, the student, don't do them. If drugs are on campus, you need to be concerned about getting rounded up and implicated by the actions of others.</p>
<p>What if someone knows that they are about to get caught...they assume that they went too far and someone smelled pot the night before? Maybe they take advantage of unlocked rooms and drop it off in your room, so when school officials search the rooms you're the one who's screwed. "It's not mine," and "I don't know how that got there," just don't persuade adults to think otherwise: "Sure, kid, that's what they all say...." And if you wait until then to prove that it's really your roommate's or neighbor's, you're only making a different case against yourself...and not doing much to show that you didn't know how that got there. The best you can do is take the real culprit down with you, but you're going down either way. Isn't that a problem? And shouldn't that be a concern for parents?</p>
<p>What if you're with a group of people, in someone's room or elsewhere, and the pot comes out and the bust comes down...and there you are, right in the middle of it all?</p>
<p>Maintaining control over your possessions (which includes locking your room, even when you leave to take a shower) and keeping a room that is organized and clean -- so that you can tell when your things have been disturbed -- are good ways to avoid getting caught with drugs and other contraband that you don't use or sell or stash for others.</p>
<p>Your parents may trust you not to use drugs, but they may not trust your roommate or dormmates not to implicate you when they get caught. They may trust you to use good judgment and act maturely when it comes to choosing friends, but what about your roommate? And, yes, they may still think you're naive -- or certainly a newbie -- to the ways that strangers in group living arrangements can put you in harm's way if you're not savvy. The fact that you think it is as simple as "just saying 'no'" would justify their concerns.</p>
<p>It's a very tough line to walk: trusting your neighbors and believing in the Honor Code (on the one hand) and being wary and taking proactive steps to guard against getting swept up in things you're not involved with (on the other hand). Just remember, if someone -- just one person -- in your environs is doing drugs, they are already violating a trust and breaking most schools' Honor Codes. They are putting your academic career in jeopardy. And everyone else's, too. They deserve to be reported because of the havoc they can wreak on many innocent neighbors...all to get one fleeting high. That's the height of selfishness and being inconsiderate. By jeopardizing others, they have forfeited any right to expect others to protect them. Once you suspect that drugs are around, you need to be part of the process to eradicate them and get your guard up. That's much more involved than simply saying, "I'll pass."</p>
<p>About the correlation between day students to drug availability...</p>
<p>Let me add another correlation, involving boarders:</p>
<p>"The fewer the hours since the end of a break, the greater the availability of drugs."</p>
<p>I would not be surprised if drug busts on campus spike in the week following a break. Joe Plummer on the first floor spends Thanksgiving holiday with his cousins in New York and comes back on Sunday afternoon with a "care" package of sorts. By next Saturday night, it will be gone...if it wasn't burnt through by Sunday evening. If Joe is your roommate, you could be in some serious trouble...even if you're not a member of the lower tier of the citizenry.</p>
<p>Well said, fun is fun...where DO some people get their notions?</p>
<p>I believe that my notion carries merit. Fun is fun is going to be sarcastic... I live with it and enjoy it sometimes, but he exaggerated for comedy.</p>
<p>No one should minimize the seriousness of using drugs at any school; boarding, private or public. A few years ago a friend's daughter was kicked out of Andover for using marijuana. She returned home and continued to use marijuana. The next time she was caught was at her public high school and this time she was arrested. Actually handcuffed and taken to jail (and yes, she did complain that the cuffs were to tight). She swore to her mom that the drugs did not belong to her, that they belonged to her friend. Do you think the Judge was interested in this unique "explanation"? She ended up participating in a diversion program that cost her parents money and her lot's of time. She is now in community college after failing to gain entrance into any of the colleges she applied to. And this was a very academically brilliant kid.</p>
<p>If your idea has such merit, why not try it out?
Break a law (anyone will do) and try to present the defense that your mystical superior education/cognizance will absolve you of guilt.</p>
<p>It will be a good reality check and an introduction to the real world.</p>
<p>Amen to that, fun is fun.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>On the assumption that "it" refers to drugs or contraband of any kind at BS...</p>
<p>...you don't want to associate with the likes of italianboarder if you're a student in BS. </p>
<p>While he may be above it all (either in reality or just in his imagination), his convictions (as in personal beliefs) aren't going to do anything to lessen your convictions (as in consequences) for being caught up in his circle where you and others may suffer the consequences for his actions.</p>
<p>He's sure he won't get caught or have to pay a price, but he offers no indemnification to you if he's wrong about that and it turns out that his enjoyment comes at a price that you can't afford to pay.</p>
<p>If you're a student and you come across someone like an italianboarder with access to contraband of any sort, he's not just making a personal mistake. He's putting you and your friends in jeopardy...and that threat is only heightened by the fact that he thinks he's bulletproof. When someone in your dorm, not to mention your hallway or your room, gets busted...you may escape being swept up in the related disciplinary action, but you're going to have a real struggle fighting the suspicions of others that you, too, were possibly involved (especially because you're not likely to be told up front by others that they hold you in low regard).</p>
<p>The closer your association to that person, the greater the suspicion.</p>
<p>The bottom line for most BS students: You gotta take affirmative steps to get rid of that kind of person from your BS community.</p>
<p>The bottom line for that kind of person: Understand that no matter how invulnerable you think you are, there are plenty of people who intuitively understand the above rule and have a (metaphorical) target painted on you right now.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>That's how it always plays out. The finger will always get pointed elsewhere. We're not talking secret agents trained to remain silent under torture. High school kids will rat out innocent friends with very little pressure at all. That sense of youthful immortality quickly evaporates when exposed to the real world.</p>
<p>And if it turns out that you knew about it and were silent, that finger pointing can be damning. It's a spot that no amount of rubbing can erase.</p>
<p>Full disclosure: My perspective on this is as a student who made sure two of my freshman roommates got busted for using and selling drugs. There's a myth that there's some sort of "code of silence" that you break by doing that sort of thing. My reaction then -- and now -- is that's BS. First of all, the rest of us never agreed to or consented to any such thing. Second, it was imposed on us for the unilateral benefit of people who offered us no equivalent consideration or respect. And third, I'm not inclined to give the benefit of the doubt to someone who's using and/or selling drugs to hold them in high enough esteem as to assume that they possess the intestinal fortitude or moral fiber to not deflect blame elsewhere (or just remain silent if others got blamed).</p>
<p>Now, I'm certain that some people thought (and may still think) that I lacked backbone by ratting out two roommates. And that's fine. For my part, I look at the people who remain silent and marvel at their lack of backbone for doing nothing after someone else for all practical purposes spat in their face -- by putting them in jeopardy of being wrongly implicated for drug use. Either way, people will think you're spineless. So, if people are going to regard you as spineless regardless of what path you take, then better to take the path where you're not getting kicked out of school. (I'm usually one who sees nuance and shades of gray, but in this situation it's really that black and white to me.)</p>
<p>Emdee is correct. Prep schools take drug use very seriously - just ask the half dozen sophmores who were were expelled from my son's school a couple of weeks ago for pot. They were caught on Friday or Saturday night and by Sunday they were gone. So much for their career at BS.</p>
<p>Another thing is that in NH and CT (?i think) not sure where else, the school is required by law to tell the state about kids getting in trouble for things like hazing, alcohol, pot....so on. Sooooo, you could end up not only in trouble at school, but also with the state.
Not to mention your parents....:/</p>
<p>TO Dy'er Maker:
When I said I live with it and enjoy it some times I was refering to fun is fun's sarcasm. </p>
<p>FULL COMMENT: I believe that my notion carries merit. Fun is fun is going to be sarcastic... I live with it and enjoy it sometimes, but he exaggerated for comedy.</p>
<p>I meant I live withhis sarcastic comments, don't take them to heart and they often lighten the conversation. Even when they are directed at me, he is a funny guy. there was no mention of drugs.</p>
<p>I don't think you were spineless at all D-Yer - in fact the opposite. It takes a lot of grit to stand up to your peers and go against the grain. Good for you - even if it was way back when :)</p>
<p>I wish I could get my roommate kicked out. She deals coke, acid, pot, and vicodin to the entire school and I'm really uncomfortable being her roommate. Just goes to show that drugs are definitely VERY VERY prevalent in boarding schools.</p>