<p>Such ambivalence is hard! We are very proud of DS and really like his ED choice (fingers crossed!) but now that app is filed DH and I feel sad....I think reality hitting hard that DS truly ready and will be gone in just a few months. While he has not been easy to live with these last months, he was so relieved last night that it was a pleasure. I guess I'm saying we will miss him enormously and that he is more ready for this step than we are! thanks for "listening...."</p>
<p>ps - guess it doesn't help that spent much of past couple of days going through baby pix to choose some for his yearbook ad!</p>
<p>I know what you mean; going through those old pictures was hard. If it had coincided with sending off an application, it would have been twice as hard. How could all these years have slipped by?</p>
<p>I’ve heard it said and agree that the only thing worse than the prospect of them leaving is the prospect of them not being ready/willing/or able to leave.</p>
<p>My S1 senior also just applied ED to a school…but has also submitted a few other apps. just in case and has more in the works…</p>
<p>This straight A student has suddenly become kinda disinterested in school…I know it’s a phase for him getting ready for college (he’s an older senior because of his birthdate) and he’s answering me back a lot more now (to assert independence?!)</p>
<p>The kids are always ready to go on to the next phase way before we are ready for them to! Yeah, I’m trying to teach him laundry skills and basic cooking skills this year…he’ll figure it out!</p>
<p>His attitude and lack of patience is what I have to deal with now every day…hopefully that will improve once he’s on his own! As much as we will miss him, I think it will be a good thing for our relationship! I have a feeling he’ll start to appreciate me more when he has his own decisions to make and no one to help him out…that’s the part of growing up that he just has to experience. It’ll really help once the ED school accepts him (WE HOPE!!) and his stress level will subside. (And mine too! :))</p>
<p>I’m trying not to think about it too much. D and I are a family of 2…very, very close and compatible. I will miss her more than I can even imagine. But the last thing I would want is to hold her back from the next chapter in her life. But boy, next August’s gonna be rough!</p>
<p>D applied ED last fall, and on December 1st she found out she was accepted. It was truly bittersweet.</p>
<p>It was bitter because the college is 700+ miles away.</p>
<p>It was sweet because we were all convinced this college was a great fit for her, and so far it looks like we were right.</p>
<p>I’m SO happy that she is so happy at her college, has friends, and is doing well academically. Now if they’d just pick that school up and move it about 600 miles closer to me, my life would be perfect! :rolleyes:</p>
<p>I think ED apps hit parents a little harder because of the “binding” thing. It becomes much more concrete - instead of thinking, “My child will be at college next year,” and getting some hazy picture of some generic college somewhere, an ED application makes it very concrete: My child may be at XYZ university next year. You start thinking of the details and logistics - what the dorms are like, the distance, what’s the best way to travel back and forth… in other words, having a single college to focus on makes the whole thing more REAL.</p>
<p>Siemom, I share your feelings! We just sent off the EAs with a few RDs thrown in, and it’s a really funny feeling to know that it’s done. It’s out of our hands now–gotta stop wondering/worrying if he should have said this or written that. Still six more apps and some scholarship essays to work on, though, so the time until the EA decisions come out should pass quickly enough!</p>
<p>Your comment about baby pix reminded me that, in the craziness of getting the apps out, I completely forgot about the senior ad deadline on Oct 22. Now I have to spend $50 more to submit for the Dec deadline. ARGHHHH!!! It was expensive enough to begin with. But thanks for the reminder! </p>
<p>P.S. Don’t be too sad. I sent my daughter off to college 2 years ago, and though I miss her lots, I’m happy that she’s having a great experience and living her own life. It’s sad but exciting to see them growing into adults and having such wonderful opportunities to take advantage of.</p>
<p>I also think what happens is, should your child be admitted ED, you’re suddenly done in December! You’ve spent about 2 years putting all this together and suddenly it’s over and there is a void. Those who don’t get in ED or even apply ED work this whole thing through until May when it’s much closer to the final departure and there’s much to complete with high school (awards ceremonies and graduation, etc.) and entering college. I remember a girlfriend whose son got in ED looked at me the next day and said, “Is that it? I was geared up for the next 5 months but now it’s done. Where do I put all this adrenaline I’ve got pumping?”</p>
<p>Seimom, I find myself wondering what in the world ever possessed me to expose mine to the world and encourage them to explore every inch of it. (who knew they actually listen to you?) If I’d had a lick of sense (or known then how much I’d miss them now!), I’d have lied through my teeth and taught them the world is flat as pancake, extending exactly 50 miles from me after which is the Great Black Hole!
(just kidding, but boy, do I ever miss them!)</p>
<p>Boy are you right about the adrenaline! I turned to my S2, a h.s. freshman (!) and said “you’re next”! and he said, you’ve got to be kidding, mom, please don’t look for colleges for me just yet!!</p>
<p>I find myself looking at the mom’s in the grocery store with their kids in tow, and telling them that before they turn around, their kids will be in high school and filling out college apps! Yeah, now I’m one of those moms that says, where did the time go so quickly??</p>
<p>seimom: does your S have other schools other than the ED that he’ll be applying to in case ED doesn’t work out??</p>
<p>The book “Full Heart, empty nest” is a good one. By the time next September hits, you will be ready to pack the bags. There is a lot of drama in the spring of the senior year. Don’t rush your fences . . .</p>
<p>I remember when D1 applied, it hit me in the Spring that she was leaving (and leaving me with all males) and I was very sad. Then she did me the favor of being very difficult to live with before she left so it was actually a relief when she was gone. S2 left in September and it hit me a lot harder than I expected. We still have S3 (a sophomore)around, but I find myself missing the chaos. I am also telling all my friends with little ones to enjoy it because it goes way too fast.</p>
<p>chocchipcookie, my D set a 4-hour-drive radius when she first started looking at schools and has stuck to it. So it will be relatively easy to get back-and-forth. </p>
<p>700 miles??? I don’t think we could handle that! Maybe by grad school. :)</p>
<p>The talking back is usually a sign of the next level of independence, it is also a sign that your child is trying to separate from you a bit (makes it not hurt so much for them when they leave). </p>
<p>I miss my D terribly, but we managed to move her into her apt. in August with few tears. I spent the first month she was gone doing large painting projects around the house. Things will settle into a nice rhythm once they get settled in school. The rhythm for my D and I is that she calls when she is on the bus going to campus in the morning (her friends don’t have 8am classes so that leaves just me…). We have a nice chat 2-3 days per week for 15 minutes. </p>
<p>Be proud that they are ready and capable of making this transition. Mine is much more capable and resilient than even I guessed she would be. Busy, happy, struggling at times but an exciting journey.</p>
<p>Texasmom it must be a daughter thing. Mine calls me whenever she is walking across campus or home from the gym alone. So I actually here from her a couple of times a week. Of course my son NEVER calls. He does text occasionally. It does make you very proud to see them thrive.</p>
<p>I went through this emotional roller coaster last year. It was really hard because D and I are so close. It is such an exciting time of her life - I never wanted her to know how sad I would be that she wouldn’t be here all the time (despite how difficult she often was!). She was also working at a sleepaway camp in another state for the summer after she graduated, so that made it even harder - only four days in between camp and going off to college. I was a wreck.</p>
<p>Fast forward… and guess what? It’s all OK!!!</p>
<p>She’s very happy at college only 3-4 hours away (depends on NY traffic). We are always in touch – phone, text, FB. I still miss her - sometimes more than others - but it’s not the roller coaster of last year, which was often a result of me thinking about it too much (and dwelling on “lasts,” old pictures, etc.) I did a lot of self-talk to pull myself out of the emotional downs – choosing to focus on the fact that she did so well in HS that she’s at the college of her choice, she’s perfectly capable of being on her own, adjusting to new friends, etc. </p>
<p>Yes, it’s hard, but it’s the next phase.</p>
<p>The bonus now is all the quality time I get to spend with my S. He’s a great kid and I’m having so much fun getting to know him better without his sister around!</p>
<p>Linymom - I too am reaping the bonus of spending more time with my S. D showed horses, he plays golf. I was very involved in preparation etc. for D, whereas golf does not require quite as much time. I do however go to the course to take picture of S and his team (which they really like!!!).</p>
