<p>We have a situation and I was hoping for some guidance from you all. My D applied to a school under their ED plan. She was supposed to hear within a month, but they are now saying she won't hear for what could end up being a total of six weeks from when the application was submitted. I was piqued by this because my D should not have had to prepare any other applications until after the decision. Now she needs to prepare them, and i am finding it hard to get her to do so. She keeps thinking the decision will be in the mail "today". The reality is that the school is a reach for her. She fell in love with it, but I have major concerns about fit. </p>
<p>Before you all say it's a bit late to be worried about fit now, let me tell you that my d is very strong-willed. Before she sent in the ed form, i kept asking her how she would feel being in the bottom quarter, always struggling to keep up with students more capable than she. I was surprised that she should be attracted to the school in the first place. She is reasonably smart, but not a big studier- unlike the typical student at this school. I think her work habits are lacking, but i have had little influence in changing that. </p>
<p>So, I am in this strange position of wanting her to get into the school she loves, but worried that she won't do well if she gets in. Plus, I would like for her to be able to get on with things if she really is not going to be admitted. </p>
<p>I remember a post not long ago wherein it was suggested that if your child is admitted, you shouldn't worry-the school thinks they are up to the work. I can't really hang my hat on that. Kids drop out or transfer all the time because they aren't up to the challenge. What's a mother to do?</p>
<p>"She is reasonably smart, but not a big studier- unlike the typical student at this school. I think her work habits are lacking, but i have had little influence in changing that."</p>
<p>You know - this can work both ways, and it is hard to know. Many students are attracted by the culture of a school, and will raise their expectations of themselves to meet the surrounding culture (especially if this culture is strong, as it is at, say, Reed or Swarthmore or UChicago.) Others, in contrast, will try it out, and find out that they absolutely hate it. (and, perhaps, leave). </p>
<p>At some point, having provided the best information and guidance you can, you just have to hold your breath, be supportive, and get out of the way.</p>
<p>(I have many stories -- you may have seriously underestimated her capabilities. My d.'s college - a top LAC known for academic rigor --has found that this happens in families and family situations so often that, unlike many other LACS and Ivies, they not only encourage transfers for folks who want more academic rigor, but have even set up three full scholarships for community college transfers.)</p>
<p>Frankly, I'd be more worried about the fact that the ED school didn't reply on their stated timeline - this is very odd, given that they know students have to apply elsewhere.</p>
<p>"Frankly, I'd be more worried about the fact that the ED school didn't reply on their stated timeline - this is very odd, given that they know students have to apply elsewhere."</p>
<p>Ues, that would concern me big time. Since this is how the school goes back on their promises before students commit to them, I am wondering how the college treats students once they are attending the institution. I have never heard of an ED college acting this way, and that causes me major concern.</p>
<p>thanks, mini. That helps calm the nerves a bit.</p>
<p>As for the school not answering within their timeline, it is perhaps not as set in stone as normal ED decisions because the school has a rolling ED process.</p>
<p>If the school is a reach for her, then it is very likey that she will be deferred or rejected ED. She needs to assume that she is not going to be admitted and get moving with her other apps. I know this is easier said than done. See thread on Down Side of EA/ED.</p>
<p>When are the deadlines for the next round of applications, does she need letters from teachers? I would suggest that she have this all lined up in case. We pick the colleges we will apply to but we really don't pick a college until the acceptance letters are open on the table.</p>
<p>If your daughter is indeed "strong willed" and if she is accepted and attends this ED school, then she might just be able to "will" herself into doing better than you could imagine. </p>
<p>I would focus on your logistical issues at this point, and worry about the other later when acceptances are in hand. It is a battle you don't want to get into now, she has to be devoting her energy to getting RD applications done, and you have to be helpful in making sure her list is diverse in terms of selectivity...</p>
<p>Yes, I did think it unlikely that she would be accepted as a reach applicant. D says she is not banking on it in the least. But, she is a procrastinator by nature anyway, so is putting off working on the other apps while she waits to hear the response from the ED school. </p>
<p>The other applications are set in terms of transcripts sent, references sent (hopefully- school is out, so she can't check with teacher or counselor) and the common app is ready. It's just a matter of her finishing the supplements- eg. why do you want to go to school X? Y Z</p>
<p>Since I am by nature the opposite of DD, and like to finish things as soon as they reach my hand, I told her to send off a few of the apps that don't require supplements. I paid the app fees because i can't stand having all these loose ends. Even though the deadlines for most of them aren't til Jan 15th, I wanted them out there! There is one app that needs to be in by Jan 1, though, and it does require a supplementary question or two. It is one of her other top two choices. She keeps telling me each day that she will do it, but then does not. Which only fuels my worries about how she will make it in college with such procrastination...</p>
<p>Tee-hee! Don't let the application season color your opinion of your d.'s abilities one bit. This is not unusual. Let TheDad give you the talk. Mine procrastinated on an essay for more than two months, but when it came out, it came out whole - no editing needed, no word changes, no spelling errors, no punctuation. It took her exactly 90 minutes to do - AND two months of procrastinating. For some folks, procrastination is just part of the process.</p>
<p>But you are allowed to worry. You have the license. Came with birth. Can't be rescinded.</p>
<p>Oh,mini, you made me smile. I think one of the hardest things about being a parent is accepting that your kids are individuals- individuals who may share half your DNA and yet be nothing like you! Regarding most of the ways she differs from me, I am very proud of my daughter. It's those nasty few shortcomings that i can't seem to let go of.
Hopefully, DD will be able to pull it off in the crunch she will unnecessarily create for herself. :)</p>