<p>Wrote something like "Wharton as a part of the Penn community is my absolute dream school" - was that stupid or am I just paranoid? :P idk but it seems clich</p>
<p>That is a very cliche ending and it doesn’t tell much about you. The ending resonates with the reader while the first sentence sets the mood. A bad first or last sentence may negate the entire essay, especially for busy adcoms. There are thousands of other applicants who can identify warton as their dream school otherwise they wouldn’t have applied. In that sense, you will fail to stand out. I don’t know about the content of the essay, but you are surely on the losing end of the “resonance scale”.</p>
<p>Yeah, sorry to say this but that was a pretty cliche ending. Everybody’s thinking it, but you’re not supposed to actually put it down lol. The ending is supposed to complete the essay but what you wrote is as if you ran out of things to say and wanted to end it quickly.</p>
<p>Lol. That’s like what I said kind of.</p>
<p>Penn is a school where the desire to learn is intertwined with the urge to serve. This is the place I hope to spend the next four years learning and exploring – a place that I hope to someday call home.</p>
<p>Cliche, no? xD Oh well, I got in…</p>
<p>k0 - 10char</p>
<p>k0? 10char.</p>
<p>I meant k-0 shot. If you’ve ever seen boxing it is a popular term.</p>
<p>Knockout shot?</p>
<p>And back to the OP, I guess it matters what you said before that sentence really.</p>
<p>I “disagree”</p>
<p>If the rest of the essay was strong, don’t lose sleep over the last line. Impressions are made before the last line. good luck.</p>
<p>I put something along the lines of “Penn being the best place for me to become an adult.” It was worded better in the essay, but it’s still pretty cliche. I don’t know what better note to end it on. If its honestly you, then don’t worry.</p>
<p>I really should change my name, huh.</p>
<p>The essay can be summed up as the “Why Penn?” essay. That question can’t be answered with a beautiful piece of literature filled with romance and tragedy. The answer will be a little boring because our reasons for wanting to go to college are always a little boring.</p>
<p>Was your ending cliche? Sure. Badly worded? That too. But if it shows anything, it shows an admirable sort of enthusiasm. Even still, you might not get into Wharton. Most applicants don’t. But it won’t be because of that sentence.</p>
<p>You shouldn’t change your name. Otherwise I can’t pick on your name.</p>
<p>Ow ****… :P</p>
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<p>Oh damn. This is the kind of wit Penn is looking for. </p>
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<p>You’re fine. One sentence in an essay doesn’t kill an application unless it is truly offensive.</p>
<p>I don’t see how that can be considered negative in any way. It shows you want to go to the school so it can’t hurt.</p>
<p>I doubt one sentence will make much of an impact on the rest of your essay, though the way you worded it is somewhat awkward. Then again, you have to factor in the opportunity cost of losing the chance to stand out from the crowd… ;)</p>
<p>SwedeToUS, out of curiousity, are you an international applicant?</p>
<p>@geekorathletic</p>
<p><3 You too. What happened to brotherly love?</p>
<p>@jadedwhartonguy
Yeah, I don’t know how I got in. My wit isn’t so hurtful QQ</p>