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<p>Is it better for people to learn from others than to learn on their own</p>

<p>People learn more when they learn from others because others usually will expose them to more diverse ideas and facts. For example, Harry Potter consulted his teachers on many occasions and realized more than what he originally planned to ask. Another example would be me learning from a parent. I learn much more than I originally planned, thus allowing me to understand deeper and in a wider range of ideas. Several examples in literature and experience demonstrates how important and better it is for people to learn from others rather than learn on their own.</p>

<p>Harry Potter, main protagonist of the series Harry Potter Year 1-7, constantly is battling evil. At a young age, he had no idea how to use magic. While attending Hogwarts, a magical school, he consulted many teachers for help and advice. Shown most directly would be when he consulted his godfather for help on a mission. His mission was to leave the Hogwarts' campus to battle off the dementors, evil ghost-like figures who suck out souls, surrounding the school. When he asked Sirius, his godfather, how to leave campus and battle off the monsters, he got way more than what he asked. His godfather told him secret routes from small alleyways, important protective gear to carry, and magical spells to use to battle them off effectively. Overall, Harry would not have learned this much information if he wanted to find out the information on his own, proving how it is better for people to learn from others rather on their own.</p>

<p>Shown by the actions of myself, I learned a lot more from someone teaching me, rather than learning independently. During sophomore year, I attempted to self study precalculus without any outside help. It was extremely hard to read and understand everything in the chapter because sometimes the textbook would print the wrong answer. By the second month, I was still stuck on chapter 1, which was not what I planned. So I ended up asking for help from my mom. My mom would teach me easier methods not written in the book. She would also explain to me each step better and more interesting. Again, similar to the experience Harry Potter went through, I learned more from others because I ended up learning more than I expected and in a shorter amount of time.</p>

<p>It is better for people to learn from others, not only because it is faster and more convenient, but also because you learn more than what you expected. Harry Potter probably would not have defeated the dementors as easily without the help of his godfather and his godfather's advice. Similarly, I probably wouldn't have passed my precalculus tests with such high grades without the help of my mother and her teachings. Though sometimes learning things from others may in the process learn something completely irrelevant and useless, people are still better off hen they learn from others.</p>

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<p>baaaaaaaummmp</p>

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<p>BUMP
10char</p>

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<p>I’m going to skip over the grammatical errors since you can figure those out if you proofread one more time. In my opinion, your thesis is not strong enough. Using yourself as an example gives it a personalized touch, so thats good. </p>

<p>However, a fictional character in a fantasy novel perhaps may not be the best example. If we were comparing literary characters, I could use Huck Finn and say he learned everything himself as he travelled south and he turned out a fine learner. And Harry Potter could hardly be considered literature. Pop culture, maybe, but not literature. </p>

<p>That was my honest opinion and I apologize if I offended you in any way.</p>

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<p>Nahh. It’s fine. I need feedback :slight_smile: and thanks! :D</p>

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<p>This is a reasonably good essay. </p>

<p>Here are a few suggestions that are likely to improve your essay score:

  1. Try to avoid the use of “you.”
  2. You are using the auxiliary verb “would” to refer to actions that took place frequently in the past. For example, “My mom would teach me . . .” This is more colloquial than formal, and I suggest avoiding this construction.
  3. The phrase “self study without any outside help” is likely to seem redundant.
  4. Watch for subject/verb agreement in number.
  5. Avoid introducing new ideas in the last sentence. When you write “Though sometimes learning things from others may in the process learn something completely irrelevant and useless,” you have introduced an idea that you will not have any time/space to support (and garbled the syntax at the same time). It would be a great idea to incorporate this thought into one of your earlier examples (because that would show greater complexity of thought), but it is not a good idea to throw it in at the very end of the essay.</p>