Essay grading

<p>Is identity something people are born with or given, or is it something people create for themselves? </p>

<p>“Identity is much more than the name of features one is born with.” Actually, identity is something that people create for themselves by undergoing various challenges and changes and making choices. This claim is substantiated by the examples of Ki Moon Ban, current Secretary-General of the United Nations, Oprah Winfrey, an American television host, and Heathcliff, a protagonist in Emily Bronte’s novel Wuthering Heights.</p>

<p>Ki Moon Ban, the sixth and current Secretary-General of the United Nations, is one individual who created his identity with his actions. Ban was born in . During his childhood, his father owned a warehouse business, which later went bankrupt, only to take away the f.amily’s middle-class standard of living. Yet, Ban persisted with his studies, especially those of English despite the family’s lack of financial support. According to local stories, he normally walked six miles a day to a fertilizer plant where he could practice his English with American advisors there. When he won an essay contest sponsored by the Red Cross, this triumph earned him a trip to the United States and a meeting with President Clinton. His position in the United States could not have been achieved without Ban’s such efforts and love for studies.</p>

<p>Oprah Winfrey is another person who achieved her current status as one of the most influential figures in the world through her own hard work. Although she is now ranked among the wealthiest people of the world, she was born in rural Mississippi, to a teenage mother. Because of her family’s lack of financial support, Oprah did not receive formal education while other kids of her age attended school. Meanwhile, she discovered her talent as a ‘speaker,’ while mimicking those on the television screen, and began co-anchoring at a local evening news at the age of eighteen. Undaunted by the challenges brought by her race, Oprah endured and now, she is credited with having revolutionized the tabloid media industry with her intimate, confessional self-titled talk show. Like Ban, Oprah worked her way up the ladder from the very bottom to become who she is now: the greatest entertainer.</p>

<p>Heathcliff in Emily Bronte’s novel Wuthering Heights is the last example of a person who developed his own identity through marked changes in his life. This novel follows the life of a mysterious, gypsy-like man, from his childhood to death in early thirties. Originally a kid of no definite origin, Heathcliff was adopted by the wealthy Earnshaws. This event allowed Heathcliff to experience a sudden rise in his social status, now a son of the richest family in county. In addition, when his beloved woman Catherine marries another man, Heathcliff decides to transform himself and succeeds by becoming a much more educated, gentle businessman when he reappears in front of Catherine. Heathcliff chose to undergo this major change for himself.</p>

<p>People are not born with features that later are used to define them. After careful analysis of Ki Moon Ban, Oprah Winfrey, and Heathcliff, it is undeniably evident that people, indeed, create their own identities by making certain decisions and behaving in certain ways. It seems only reasonable to conclude that although innate features may ‘contribute’ to shaping one’s identity, the most integral part comes from one’s actions, or more specifically, one’s interactions with the surroundings.</p>

<p>your arguement is quite clear and it’s brilliant to make those signposts of the coming evidence in the first paragraph
i wish i could make my essay as good as yours…
did you wrap this up within 25 minutes?</p>

<p>First tip: three examples is unnecessary when two would do. (You do not get bonus points for having one more example.) Take out the Heathcliff example as he is a fictional character.</p>

<p>The UN Secretary General’s name is Ban Ki-Moon.</p>

<p>Instead of using two poor-to-famous/rich examples, it may be better to examples of individuals changing their identity without so much emphasis on the lack of money in their childhood.</p>

<p>Nonetheless, you should receive a score of 10-11 if you take out the paragraph on Heathcliff.</p>