Grade my essay from 1-12?

<p>prompt: Is identity something people are born with or given, or is it something people create for themselves?</p>

<p>Even though there are 7 billion people on earth, each one is unique. As humans we are given a body and opportunities at birth, however who we are is not defined by those options. Several examples from literature and history show that the premise that identity is something people create for themselves is an unequivocal truth.</p>

<p>For most people identity is built. Jay Gatsby in The Great Gatsby is the epitome of this statement. Gatsby was born into a poor family and had to rely on his wits to survive. He was given nothing but later on used his cunning to bootleg liquor. Although this was illegal, Gatsby made himself into a new man. No longer was he a poor boy but rather a mysterious, wealthy and very handsome man. Therefore, as shown by Jay Gatsby identity is earned not given.</p>

<p>Being born into a blessed life does not fix your identity. Alexander the Great was heir to the throne and lived a royal life. When his father, Philip died, Alexander was left with running the kingdom of Macedon at a young age. Alexander was not content with having one kingdom and ultimately conquered most of the world. He could not escape the fact that he was destined to be king at birth but his identity remains today as the world’s greatest conqueror. Hence, Alexander forged a new identity and rejected the lazy royal life he was given.</p>

<p>Another evident example is Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games. Katniss was a girl from a poor district with nothing to her name. After fighting in the Hunger Games and ultimately winning, she created a new identity for herself. She was not satisfied with this new label and became a rebel against the government. Thus even after creating a new identity the choices we make can further change us.</p>

<p>Indeed after careful analysis it is evident that identity is something which is created. After all the sky is the limit.</p>

<p>10/11 in my opinion</p>

<p>I would give it a 6/6</p>

<p>10 or 11 meaning out of 12</p>

<p>I would give it a 10. Your vocabulary and grammar are good and your structure is sound. Your writing is also strong but your conclusion was really short. The essay would also flow a little better transitions were added between paragraphs. One final tip: you’re on the right track with your examples, but two are from literary works (that were recently turned into movies :wink: ). I would try to vary them a little more or maybe just avoid popular fiction (Gatsby was fine for me because its an American classic but Hunger Games threw me off). Overall though, you’re on the right track.</p>