<p>Can someone read and honestly rate and give me advice for this essay that I wrote? Its my response to the Collegeboard's blue book test #4 (Do things that make our lives more efficient necessarily make our lives better?). It got a 10/12 when I entered my answers online and got my scores. </p>
<p>Changes that make our lives easier don't always make our lives better. Even though technology can make our lives more efficient, , it also has negative aspects to it. Three examples that prove this true are the relationship between computers and child obesity, the attack on the World Trade Center (September 11, 2001), and the Industrial Revolution. </p>
<p>Over the past decade, childhood obesity rates have risen dramatically. This is mostly because children have been spending more and more time doing technology-related activities, such as spending time on computers and playing video games and less time going outside to move around and play sports. This may be because technology has been more ''fun'' than it has ever been, with new video games and the Internet. A recent study has shown that childhood obesity has risen by about 25% from 2005. Obesity is such a threat because if children keep at it, it can cause them many problems, such as high blood sugar, diabetes, high blood pressure, and heart attacks. </p>
<p>On September 11, 2001, airplane use was highly abused. An airplane was a technology that was meant to safely and quickly get goods and people from one destination to another, not to threaten nations. Al Queda wanted to harm our nation for some reason, by flying airplanes into the Pentagon in Washington DC, but the planes missed, so on September 11, he sent two more planes to fly into New York City to hit the Twin Towers. This has made our lives so negative because now we are more fearful of threats than ever before. Security checkpoints at airports have adapted stricter policies since September 11, 2001. </p>
<p>Even though the machines of the Industrial Revolution improved the rates at which goods were produced and increased the number of them, this technology also had negative aspects. Machines weren't always working properly, so people were often hurt and killed using them. I remember my history teacher telling me that these machines were built so poorly that one woman got her hair caught in it. The machine kept pulling her hair, and that's how she passed away. Even though these machines were meant to keep society up and running by producing numerous goods, it only brought society down. </p>
<p>In summary, changes that may make our lives seem easier don't always make our lives better. Over time, more and more kids have been spending more and more time playing video games and going online. This has always been meaning less physical activity and more obese kids. Due to the attack on September 11, 2001, our nation has become more fearful of threats than it ever has been. Even though the machinery of the Industrial Revolution was meant to increase the output of goods, it only killed people. When used improperly, technology can lead to the loss of many lives.</p>
<p>Honestly read, rate, and help me please? Thanks.</p>