Essay help!!!

<p>**Hi CC,</p>

<p>I am preparing for the October SAT and would appreciate if I can get some feedback on my essay.**</p>

<p>Prompt:
Technology promises to make our lives easier, freeing up time for leisure pursuits. But the rapid pace of technological innovation and the split second processing capabilities of computers that can work virtually nonstop have made all of us feel rushed. We have adopted the relentless pace of the very machines that were supposed to simplify our lives, with the result that, whether at work or play, people do not feel like their lives have changed for the better.
Adapted from Karen Finucan, “Life in the Fast Lane”</p>

<p>Assignment:
Do the changes that make our lives easier not necessarily make them better? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on the issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>Essay:
The convergence of the human consciousness with computers has been thoroughly explored by science fiction writers. But as recent innovations in computers, internet, and robotics bring us closer the dreams of a world like the Jetsons, one has to ask themselves if convergence is such a good thing.</p>

<p>The social media giant Facebook has come under fire in recent years for violating what many believe to be privacy rights. One case, where users downloaded the Facebook app to their phone only to find all of their contact’s phone numbers put online even happened to myself. As more of our lives gets transferred into ones and zeroes, the emotional aspects of human socialization will diminish. No longer do I need to meet my friends to study, we can video chat from our homes! This lack of privacy and intimacy will characterize the 21st century.</p>

<p>Another consequence of this convenience is the lack of physical exercise done by today’s youth. Obesity rates are at an all-time high and the comforts of the modern era are only perpetuating this trend. A recent NIH study found that teenagers wo played videogames for 1 to 2 hours per day had a higher risk for diabetes than the groups that exercised for the same time period.</p>

<p>Nevertheless, it seems that videogames makers have found a solution to this problem, by using games that require the user to move. Systems like the Nintendo Wii and the Xbox Kinect are merely facades of actual physical exercise the struggle between our health and the allure of convenience will plague humanity in the future.</p>

<p>Lastly, but perhaps most importantly, the critical reading skills of students today have diminished greatly from the exposure to the fast-paced-quickly-summarized internet text. As people’s writing becomes more mechanical and dogmatic, the creativity of our literature will diminish. Already, the effects of this can be seen. In the book The Shallows by Nicholas Carr the relationship between the internet and the quality of student’s literary interpretations is thoroughly explored. Carr found that the depth and thoughtfulness of his students writing has degraded from the over use of the internet’s conveniently summarized news and opinions.</p>

<p>Overall, as humankind embraces technology to improve our lives, we should have some caution. As the new innovations will influence our health, mind, ad relationship in negative ways. Just because something is easier doesn’t make it better.</p>

<p>I really appreciate any constructive feedback.
Thanks
</p>