Essay intros. Help me out please :)

Applying to College
1

<p>Hi everybody,</p>

<p>As a rising senior I am starting to think about admissions essays. I have two or three ideas so far and have written two rough introductions. Each took me about 20 minutes to write so they aren't exactly my best work</p>

<p>One is about my grandfather who recently passed away, and the other is about meeting famous people (like the Dalai Lama) and what I have learned from those encounters. These are working introductions but also in a way they are outlines of what I want to write about in the following sections... I think.</p>

<p>If you guys could take a quick look and let me know what you think that would be great. I'm less interested in writing quality stuff and more about suggestions for fleshing out the topics, organization, are they good topics to be writing about. Really any feedback would be great. PM me or respond and I will get them to you.</p>

<p>Thanks so much,
Mike</p>

2

<p>I'll take a look and give you advice.</p>

3

<p>I just finished my first. I'm surprisingly happy with it, and really confident it will help!! Sorry, had to brag a little...</p>

<p>So anyway, PM me yours and I'll tell you what I think.</p>

4

<p>anybody else want to help me out and read these essays? The second one is actually a pretty cool story!!!</p>

5

<p>if u still need someone to read and give some feedback ...just pm me :-)</p>

6

<p>pm me ten characters</p>

7

<p>hahah ten characters... that is clever</p>

8

<p>I am also happy to read anybody else' essay and give good feedback.</p>

<p>-mike</p>

9

<p>I can take a look if anyone wants to PM it over.</p>

10

<p>"So there I was..." is always a good intro</p>

11

<p>There's also great intro: "Wazzzzzup ni99a, ima in da houseeee!!"</p>

12

<p>No, that's bad. Mine's good.</p>

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<p>"Oh my god Becky look at her butt. It is soooo big. She must be like one of those rap guys' girlfriends. They only go out with her cause she looks like a total prostitute. I mean look at it, it's just so big and out there and blagh.... I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE"</p>

<p>-Sir Mix A lot</p>

<p>another classy intro</p>

14

<p>I'll read!</p>