I will have to write my colleges essays soon so I was thinking of some ideas. One of the prompts I saw was…
Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
I will be applying to some competitive schools. I was thinking that I should write about how my family moved to the States and I did not speak English. I spoke my native language, of course. Pretty soon, I began to take honors and ap English courses.
I was not sure if this was a good topic so I wanted to get your guy’s opinion on this. This would show my weaknesses, but it would also show how I am hard working and how I managed to learn so much in a short amount of time. My reading SAT is not all that great either so I believe it give them an idea of why it is what it is.
What do you guys think? Please give me other tips if you can. Thank you!!
It’s a great topic, but make sure that your essay is unique. Many people submit essays relating to immigration or culture, and if you are applying to competitive schools there may be many international applicants with diverse backgrounds. In addition to showing how you are a hard worker and learn quickly, use your story to illustrate (not state) your other qualities, beliefs, dreams, aspirations, etc. Make sure to show how your upbringing has shaped you into the person you are today. It also might be good to try and connect your past experiences to what you plan to do in the future. For example, if I was an American immigrant, after explaining my story I would write about how unhappy I am with the recent US immigration policies, and use that to transfer into talking about my love for politics and desire for equality. Figure out what in life is most important to you, or what interests you the most, and find a way to connect it to your story. By the end of your essay, the reader should feel like they know who you are, and like you AS A FRIEND (most admissions people are recent college grads). Anyway sorry for the long response lol. Hope this was helpful. Good luck with your college apps!!
Can you request that a mod move this to the “College Essay” forum? You may get more of the answers you want.
I think I would leave this explanation to your guidance counselor to include in her letter. That would free up your essay for something that reveals a little more of WHO you are, as opposed to WHAT’S happened to you.
Your essay idea has been done a million times. That doesn’t mean you can’t write a good essay about it, but you might want to think of something else. What do you want adcoms to know about you? That’s what you should write about.
@Lindagaf That was one of my concerns. What if I write about my learning experiences? or maybe follow the path @Abbee02 suggested? What would you think of that? I feel like colleges need to know that colleges need to know that I came out of nowhere and now I attend a competitive high school and take the hardest ap english courses my school offers. These are just ideas by the way. I can always write about something else…
They’ll know all that from your guidance counselor’s letter. That tells us what you’ve done. (And, to be honest, it’s not the first query about that exact topic I’ve read this season.)The purpose of the essay is to show who you are… what makes you different from every other kid who has started this exact same thread in the past 6 months.
Let me ask you: what do your friends like about you? What would they say is the one trait that defines your friendship?
If, heaven forbid, you had to leave your home in a fire, what one thing would you grab? Why?
You are not understanding what colleges want to see from the essay. Do not write about learning. They can see from your courses, grades and scores what you are capable of. The essay is for them to learn about your personality. Why do you love ice cream? What made you scared of the dark? Do you love to beat everyone at board games? What happened the time you got lost at the shopping mall and what did you learn from it? What made you want to watch every rerun of the Bevely Hillbillies? What about the time you found the old ladies wallet. And she surprised you with a reward? Tell them something interesting about you. Look at the prompts again, and think about all that has happened in your young life, or soemthing that has yet to happen, and you hope it will, that gives them a window into who you are besides a student.
@bjkmom I have never really asked my friends this question, but I will say what I feel the answer is to this question. I think my friends like how we share a similar goal. We all want to become doctors when we grow up. I feel like they like how I support all of my friends when they need help. For example, I excel in math and when they need help, I tutor them. Lastly, I would say respect. I respect everyone around me. In my school, I have never gotten into a verbal fight with anyone. I feel like I get along with a lot of people.
As for the fire question, I would say either my shoes or my phone. Everyone says phone nowadays, but I feel like I would lean more towards my shoes. My parents are not wealthy so I do not own that many pairs, but I feel like I am kind of a sneakerhead. I have a story about this too. In middle school, I went to a school that had a lot people who were into shoes. They had fancy adidas shoes that cost at least $70. They wore different shoes every day so they made fun of my cheap shoes that I wore every single day. Thats when my parents got me my first pair of Jordans which were the most expensive shoes I ever got. After that, I owned many pairs of Jordans and basketball signature shoes made by Nike. Although I cannot afford them, I follow new basketball shoes that come out. (I’m a huge basketball fan if you didn’t realize.)
By the way, I went to so many different schools that my counselor does not know who I am. Plus I go to a big school, so my counselor doesn’t everyone in person. If I were to guess, my counselor would have an opinion on me based on my extracurriculars (I do not play basketball, just follow it), classes, or grades.
Here are some examples of essays that worked:
A girl who colored her hair and had unexpected results in her personal life.
A girl who planned on taking her nightlight to college with her.
A boy who went up to his roof to watch stars.
A boy who worked delivering pizzas and what he learned about people from his experience.
A girl who loved playing Scrabble with her parents.
In my experience, essays such as the idea described in post 1 rarely work well. You need to be a really skillful writer to pull it off without sounding as though you are preaching or being militant. Most teens don’t have the writing skills to make that type of essay work, or the adult perspective that might be needed.
At my son’s large school, students have to fill out a detailed survey to provide counselor with information. You could provide your counselor with information he/she doesn’t know to give them more information to write a better letter.
@Lindagaf Thank you. That last paragraph helps me think differently. Do you like the sneaker story that I have from middle school?
“As for the fire question, I would say either my shoes or my phone. Everyone says phone nowadays, but I feel like I would lean more towards my shoes. My parents are not wealthy so I do not own that many pairs, but I feel like I am kind of a sneakerhead. I have a story about this too. In middle school, I went to a school that had a lot people who were into shoes. They had fancy adidas shoes that cost at least $70. They wore different shoes every day so they made fun of my cheap shoes that I wore every single day. Thats when my parents got me my first pair of Jordans which were the most expensive shoes I ever got. After that, I owned many pairs of Jordans and basketball signature shoes made by Nike. Although I cannot afford them, I follow new basketball shoes that come out. (I’m a huge basketball fan if you didn’t realize.)”
I’m going to make a list of all of my ideas. Then, I will have good and bad ideas that I can choose from. I feel like I have had a lot of experiences in the past that I can write about, but its just hard to think of them. I will also get advices from my teachers and other adults that I know just to see what others feel about my topics. As of right now, I feel like I will stay away from the immigration essay. I might discuss that topic with my counselor so my counselor can get to know me.
@AfroPuffMom I think I might do that. This would allow me to share my story of how I came here, but also give me an opportunity to show admission officers what I like and things that describe who I am.
What worked well for my son was to set a timer, then brainstorm any possible response to each prompt, regardless of how farfetched. A few days later, he went back to his lists and was able to come up with some real viable options. After a brief outline of those, he arrived at the one he eventually went with.
I like the idea of using the shoe story combined with immigrating, but definitely do not mention that you now own expensive shoes. If you use that you’d want to talk about how unlike the kids who teased you, you don’t value material things like fancy shoes, and instead value family, experiences, etc. Also I know a lot of people turn their college essays into narratives, but I personally don’t think that’s the best way to go about it. You can include a story, but I’d only use that as an intro. It’s important for college admissions people to feel like they have a complete view of who you are as a person; telling a story with no analysis, explanation, or connection probably won’t give them a complete picture. That being said, there are plenty of successful narrative style essays.
@Lindagaf I will do that. I will write about what happened in middle school and how it had an impact on my life and how I am today. Would there be anything specific you would be looking for? Like format of the essay?
@Abbee02 how would I go about talking about both things? Also for the shoe thing, I don’t own many, I have two good pairs right now lol. Should the essay be about my experience and then transition into how I like basketball and how I follow both basketball and basketball shoes? I’m sorry, I’m having trouble formatting my essay. I feel like it would be helpful to have another essay just to look at.
I think it would be very tough to successfully combine those two themes into a single 650 word essay while still showing the reader who you are and why they should admit you.
@bjkmom yeah, that’s what I was thinking. I feel like it would be a better idea to write about my middle school experience and let my counselor write about my immigration story.