Essay prompt:Should we cae as much about people in other countries as we do about people in sour own Country?
Is this off topic?
2 examples
Confederate states of America(they were technically a seperate country)
Chinese immigration to the U.S.?
Thanks for your input
I think you could make both of those work, as long as you sufficiently but succinctly support them. I personally think it’s all about structure, wording and argument presentation.
I got an 11 on my SAT essay, just to validate my claims.
thanks for the input can you check my essay?
Thomas Jefferson, one of America’s most famous and respected President and founding father, once said “All men are created equal.” Our nation was founded on equality. Because of this, I believe that we should care just as much about people in other countries as we do about people in our own country.
A perfect example to illustrate this point of view is through the Confederate States of America. In the past civil war era, many of the Southern states seceded from the union. The states then formed their own country along with their own constitution. When the civil war came, the soldiers from the north and the south fought. As the southern soldiers fell, they were brought into the northern hospitals and treated the same way as how northern soldiers were treated. They were in the same hospitals, received the same treatments, and served the same was as northerners. Because of the civil war and the actions behind it, I believe that care for people in our own country should be the same as for people in other countries. If we had not cared for southerners during the civil war, they might have been too stubborn to rejoin the nation and would maintain a constant resentment towards the union.
Another example to support this view is through Chinese immigration. During the 1800’s, thousands of Chinese immigrants came to the U.S. in search of a better life. However, a better life was not what they received. Instead they experienced bitter treatment and were moved to reservations where the living environment was almost impossible to bear. Hundreds of the Chinese died. The U.S. government saw its fault and apologized to the immigrants. Congress then gave back 20000 USD to every surviving immigrant. Because of this, I believe that we should care for people in other countries as much as we do for people in our own country. If Congress hadn’t done what they did, the Chinese would have grown bitter toward the U.S. governing body.
In conclusion, I believe that we should care for people in our country just as much as we should for people in other countries. I agree with the quote that “There is no reason why a citizen of one country should not feel just as responsible for the wellbeing of people in other countries as for the wellbeing of those in his or hers own country.”
Delete that ASAP or it can be stolen or cause plagiarism concerns!!
Firstly, I recommend structuring your essay in a way that will clearly give the reader an outline of what you will be talking about in your body paragraphs. So, something like:
(Intro) presentation of argument, pref one sentence, what one side argues. what the counter side argues. then present your stance on the issue aka your thesis so something like, I believe we should care for other people because this, this and this." (in your case just two examples) this is just the bare bones, definitely go above and beyond in terms of sophistication of wording but not to the point where you sound like you don’t really know what the words mean.
your body paragraphs seem good. I usually go with a CEEL type of format.
So Claim, Evidence, Explanation and Link (the so what? answer to your argument which essentially links it back to your thesis)
For your conclusion, merely restate your thesis, because by then you should almost be out of time. I would not use that quote (I don’t know where you got it from) but it seems like you completely introduced a new idea which should always avoid doing in your conclusion paragraphs in any case.
This is what readers basically look for, clarity, cohesiveness and eloquence. Your essay, at first skim through, appears really vague and I don’t have a clear picture of where you’re going with it based on the intro paragraph. Hope this was thorough enough. Feel free to PM me.