Essay...

<p>Princeton Review gave me an 11 for this essay. Do you think they are accurate? please access!</p>

<p>Prompt: The old saying, “be careful what you wish for,” may be an appropriate warning. The drive to achieve a particular goal can dangerously narrow one’s perspective and encourage the fantasy that success in one endeavor will solve all of life’s difficulties. In fact, success can sometimes have unexpected consequences. Those who propel themselves toward the achievement of one goal often find that their lives are worse once “success” is achieved than they were before. </p>

<p>Assignment: Can success be disastrous? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations. </p>

<p>Essay:
In the long journey known as life, people often times set goals for themselves trying to achieve them. The desire to achieve a particular goal may result from the notion that if one is successful in one endeavor, all of life’s difficulties will resolve themselves; however, this notion is terribly wrong. Although success in itself seems worthwhile, success can be disastorous. By examining Ralph Waldo Emerson’s Nature, my grandfather’s life, and Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby, one understands that success may lead to a downfall.
A transcendentalist in the late 19th century, Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote about different methodologies to connect with God. In his “Nature”, Emerson writes that the countless endeavors in a person’s life lead him or her to a greater Truth. Emerson understood that the road of life will have its many successes; a person will think that he or she has discovered the great Truths in life. Emerson reaches that a person should not get comfortable in that success because ultimately a person cannot suceed until he or she has connected with God at the afterlife.
In addition to Ralph Waldo Emerson, my grandfather’s life depicts that success can be disastrous. My grandfather was born during America’s Great Depression when food was scarce and employment was at an all time low. My grandfather’s father abandoned his family, thereby making my grandfather feel guilty; he felt that his father left because he did something wrong to urge his father to leave. Without a college education, my grandfather began to build up his own contracting company, attempting to bring some money for his family. My grandfather was successful. As a result of the success, my grandfather began to get comfortable and started working less. my grandfather thought he already resolved the difficult situation in his family, but ultimately his temporary success caused him to stop working. Success can be disastrous.
Finally, Scott Fitzgerald, in his Great Gatsby, exemplifies that success leads to disaster. Daisy decided to marry Tom Buchanan for his wealth; she is lurred by his superficiality. Although no true love exists, Daisy feels that her marriage is a success because she has found a prosperous husband. Daisy’s true love is Gatsby, but she does not persue him because she feels content in her “successful” marriage. Daisy’s interpretation of success causes her demise; she never discovers true love in her life.
Emerson, my grandfather, and Fitzgerald all truely understand the saying “be careful what you wish for”. People propel themselves toward the achievement of one goal and often find themselves miserable. Life has infinite goals. A single goal in life brings desolation and meaninglessness. Success in one endeavor does not solve life’s countless problems.</p>

<p>I think that this would be like deserving of a 10. It has good facts and good development, but I feel like that the vocab is not too eloquent and some of the points could be more developed.</p>