Please Grade my Essay

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Hi,
Just working on another full length practice test and I would appreciate if you would grade my essay.</p>

<p>Thanks!</p>

<p>Question: The old saying ‘be careful what you wish for’, may be an
appropriate warning. The drive to achieve a particular goal can
dangerously narrow one’s perspective and encourage the fantasy that
success in one endeavor will solve all of life’s difficulties. In fact,
success can sometimes have unexpected consequences. Those who propel
themselves toward the achievement of one goal often find that their lives
are worse once “success” is achieved than they were before.
Assignment: Can success be disastrous? Plan and write an essay in which
you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with
reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience , or
observations.</p>

<p>Success can be disastrous for anyone who thinks that money or power will
make them happy and solve all their problems. Most people tend to think
that their life would be easy and better if they could only be in
positions of power or have a great deal of money.
Most people tend to think that money will solve all their problems.
However that isn’t the case. Money while a necessity to survive isn’t a
panacea for life’s problems. The money that most people equate with
success rarely makes life simpler for people. An example of this is a
person who win’s the lottery and suddenly goes from being low to middle
class to being very wealthy. They spend money left and right and do not
know how to control this new found wealth. The inability to convert this
’success’ into stability and happiness show’s that monetary success
doesn’t always make one happy nor does it make one stable and care free.
Many people believe that power over other people will bring happiness and
stability into their lives. These people do not realize that they are
playing Russian Roulette when they seek after power over other people. An
example of this lust for power is a person who lives their life searching
for ways to gain power over other people. The person only see’s what this
supposed power can bring them. But the fact is that power corrupts and
absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Some people think that if they can just accomplish a certain thing that
their lives would be made easier and more manageable. This could be going
to a certain school, double crossing ones friends and acquaintances in
order to gain favor and power with a certain group or faction. This
simply isn’t true. When one crushes their opposition they not only harm
their friends/family/co workers they also harm themselves.
The People who believe that the power and wealth they see as making them
‘successful’ and which they think will make their lives easier ultimately
do not make their lives easier and less complicated. Life is what we make
it and if we allow ourselves to be overly influenced by the pursuit of
money or power we will not be better off and more secure.</p>

2

<p>4 out of 6</p>

3

<p>That is either a 5/6. I think probably a 6. I took the sat and got a 9. Your essay is infinitely better than mine.</p>

4

<p>well--no history or lit examples....4 you need lit and hist to get perfect</p>

5

<p>coulda used a comma here and there to vary your sentence structure. probably 4</p>

6

<p>No, that's simply not true. I got perfect, and all I did was tell a personal story.</p>

7

<p>4 out of 6 would be my grade. </p>

<p>Your essay, while logical and generally well-done, doesn't elaborate on any specific examples and uses generalizations as the basis for its argument. Also, there are slight grammatical errors present. For example:</p>

<p>"Success can be disastrous for anyone who thinks that money or power will
make them happy and solve all their problems."</p>

<p>This sentence should read, "Success can be disastrous for anyone who thinks that money or power will make him or her happy and solve all of his or her problems." </p>

<p>The following pronouns are conjugated as singular: one, everyone, anyone, and everybody. </p>

<hr>

<p>"Money while a necessity to survive isn’t a panacea for life’s problems."</p>

<p>This sentence should read, "Money, while a necessity for survival, isn't a panacea for life's problems."</p>

8

<p>logisticslord, you don't always need an example from history or literature to get a perfect score you know. If you have the blue offcial SAT study guide and you look at page 200, you will see a student use example from personal experiences and got a perfect score of 6 on the essay.</p>