Ethics/Etiquette re Declining Acceptances/Scholarships

College Majors Music Major
1

<p>This is the situation- D has sort of decided about this fall. We accepted, paid deposit, and went to orientation to schedule classes because this college does these mostly in the spring and she wanted to get into honors classes while there were seats left. Deposit is mostly refundable until 5/1, and is the only one we have made. There were other(non-music) kids there doing the same thing, scheduling while holding open possibility of later declining. For us there is still a bit of uncertainty about the fall, mulling over possibility of a couple of other schools.</p>

<p>Meanwhile, while we were there at orientation, their oboe prof was here at our hometown U visiting with hometown U's oboe prof. They chatted about my D, and their prof told our oboe prof D had accepted their offer. Now our prof e-mailed D and asked her to please officially decline music scholarship so that money is freed up to give to other students.</p>

<p>We don't want to cause any bad feelings. D is in youth orchestra and other groups affiliated with our U and has worked with lots of people there. However, this prof is retiring, so wouldn't be the person she works with if she decided to attend here this fall.</p>

<p>The thing is, she is an alternate for a full tuition scholarship at our U and if she got the scholarship, it would make a big difference, could be enough to change her mind. But we won't know about that until the recipients decide on THEIR schools. Every year some alternates do move up and get the scholarship.</p>

<p>So what is the etiquette? When you accept at one place, do you have to decline everywhere else at the same time? Or can you hold a couple places in reserve until 5/1, just in case? She has already notified a few schools that she will not attend and will do more this week. We want to do the right thing.</p>

<p>It seems like for non-music admissions, people do this all the time, especially when they are on waitlists and have to accept somewhere. D is on one of those- Chicago. Is music different?</p>

2

<p>Why not be honest and tell the professor that, while she has made a deposit at the other college, the deposit is refundable and non-binding until May 1st, and that she is still hoping to receive the full scholarship, which would change her decision?</p>

3

<p>I agree with GM, talk to the school and explain the situation, that you accepted at the other school, in large part because she was on the alternate list with a full scholarship to the local school, and accepted there as a hedge in case the scholarship wasn’t available. If in fact your D would go to the local school if given a full scholarship but would need it to be able to go there, let them know that. Among other things, even if they didn’t come through with a full scholarship, maybe they could increase aid to make it more attractive. There is nothing unethical about doing it, students generally have until May 1st to decide and there is nothing binding at the other school.</p>

4

<p>Agreed, explain the situation to Hometown U and tell them that she will accept or decline their offer as soon as possible after the complete financial picture is known. The schools had several months in which to make their decision about your daughter. Your daughter has only one month to choose among them and she should be allowed to use all of it if need be. If there are other schools that are definitely off the list, the polite thing to do would be to formally decline their offers.</p>

<p>The one possible downside is that, if she bails on the school where you have placed the deposit, that might be remembered if she were to apply there for grad school.</p>

5

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It seems to me that you would reduce this risk by telling them the truth–that you’re only declining because you’ve received a full scholarship elsewhere.</p>