Evaluate SAT Essay!

Test Preparation
1

<p>I'm an international student. Please evaluate my SAT essay!</p>

<p>Q. Are there benefits to be gained from avoiding the use of modern technology, even when using it would make life easier?</p>

<p>Many great minds have pondered this very question of technology. Should people avoid using modern technology? Although they have not reached a consensus, many seem to be in the opinion that there are more benefits to be gained from avoiding the use of modern technology. However, if one were to think about the question at length, one can conclude that more benefits are engendered with the use and encouragement of innovations.</p>

<p>There should not be any reason for a person to not utilize modern technology for his convenience when the benefits are obvious. For example, computers take up an irreducible amount of our daily lives. We constantly use and interact with computers, and the benefits of using computers are obvious and indubitable. One can do a research, read books, watch movies, and take many other productive actions that benefit one. If this is the case, there is no reason for one to not use modern technology.</p>

<p>Repudiating innovative developments will only make one's life less convenient. For example, if one refuses to use a mobile phone even though one is aware that it would make one's life easier, it would not only cause one's inconvenience but also others' for not being able to contact the person. In this sense, rejecting modern technology can sometimes prove detrimental not only to one's life but also to others'.</p>

<p>Granted, there are situations in which one gains benefits from avoiding the use of modern technology such as being able to spend time more productively instead of watching TV. However, this example is a rare case that is an inconsequential part of one's life. </p>

<p>Should people stay away from using modern technology? Although it is very tempting to answer in the affirmative, if pondered at length, the question holds no other answer but a no. In this sense, there are no benefits to be gained when one can recognize the benefits of using a technology but refuse to use it.</p>

2

<p>Dont use ‘SAT words’.
You need academic examples. Reasoning about how someone could use a cell phone is silly.
Pick a position on the prompt, state that position and stay on it. Your intro sounds like you are going to agree with the prompt then you adopt the opposite. Opposing the prompt is fine but why do you bring up “great minds” and then never address any of their positions? It comes off as a very template opening. </p>

<p>In the SAT essay scoring rubric, for a 6 it is necessary to have a progression of ideas, to develop the argument. Here your examples, which are very nonspecific to start with, never develop. I see you saying “technology is convenient and there is no reason not to use it”. That is pretty much the beginning and end of your argument. </p>

<p>If you are going to oppose the prompt and get a 6 I think you would have had to address the objections to technology and demonstrate why they dont hold on closer examination. For instance “Some technophobes point to the a lack of gadgets leaving them free for quiet contemplation. However they are mostly likely left with very little time for personal introspection because their lives are now filled with so much manual labor that the rest of us can avoid with automation. The Amish typically spend 10-12 hours a day 6 days a week in manual labor. Contrast this with author and efficiency expert Tim Ferris who has so effectively deployed technology that he can accomplish his entire work week in 4 hours instead of the typical 40-50. Clearly someone interest in ‘taking time to smell the roses’ has no better tool in making that happen than technology”.</p>

3

<p>Wow. That was literally the best advice i ever got on sat essay. Thank you so much!</p>

4

<p>i find out some mistakes like:

  1. be in the opinion=> be of the opinion may sound better.
  2. obvious and indubitable=>you should omit either of them because they are synonyms.
  3. you can replace ‘‘one’’ with ‘‘he’’ to avert repetition.
  4. don’t use ‘‘we’’ or ‘‘you’’ in sat essays. you can use they instead.</p>