<p>In this essay I used a strategy that is widely debated on CC. Not gonna say what i did because that would undermine it. </p>
<h2>After CC grades this practice essay, I am going to have my guidance counselor, who is trained to grade SAT essays, grade it once spring break is over. </h2>
<p>Background</p>
<h2>Technological advances have freed society from tiresome labor, such as washing clothes by hand, hauling heavy loads, and walking long distances, and have given people increased access to information and entertainment. Yet, when given a choice, many people still resist using modern conveniences. There must be something to be gained from not using technology. </h2>
<p>Response
As society progresses, technology makes advances that reshape society itself. However, it comes into question whether the technological advances are for the better or the worse. Recently, there has beend an influx of technology such as social messaging that replaces normal means of communication such as talking. Simply put, there are no beneefits of modern technology even when it makes life easier. In examples such as "A simple Life" and "Messaging Alert" the indirect effects of modern technology is evluated.
To start, in "A Simple Life," Thomas is a member of an Amish guild, in which technology is forbidden. He explains how through his hard work, which does not use technology such as cars or plows, he finds an appreciation for what he does. For example, when Thomas and his family had to build a barn, they got assistance from their community. Onse the barn was raised, Thmomas hosted a supper for those who helped him. At the supper he said, "If i hired a contractor or used another form of modern convenience< Iwould not develope such a close relation with my neighbors." His gratitude demonstrates how technology does not benefit a community.
To go on, in the arrticle "Messaging Alert," Joe hughes illustrates statistics and trends of teenagers that text messsage excessively. He found that most teenagers receive one text every fifteen minutes, which he finds is the equivalent of being called every few minutes. Hughes also found that these children who text more than average do not spend enough time with their family. He concludes be saying, "The modern marvel of instant messages distracts todays youth and leads to not find joy in activities such as a family dinner." Hughes article illustrates how modern technology impedes one from finding pleasure in simple activities.
To sum, there are no real benefits from modern technology because every benfit has an equal deterrent. In examples such as "A Simple Life" and "Messaging Alert" technology takes away characteristics of work such as gratitude and peace. Think of how the world would be if we texted less and understood each other more.</p>
<p>Well your examples are fictitious. That would be obvious to most teachers, and I expect to most graders.</p>
<p>There’s a eerie sub-theme in this forum that making up examples is the path to good essay grades. I find that perspective hard to understand. The SAT themes are so general that real examples abound. Then there’s the notion of academic integrity. Oh well.</p>
<p>And keep in mind that colleges receive your essays as part of your grade report.</p>
<p>Also consider that your approach may backfire. For example, there is in fact a novel “A Simple Life” by Rosie Thomas. Not surprisingly it’s not about an Amish community.</p>
<p>All this said, assuming that the grader would let your fiction pass, what grade would you receive on the essay? All I can say is that you need to focus on your writing mechanics, choice of words, and grammar. Despite your easy path to examples that fit the thesis like a glove it’s unlikely that your grade would rise above a 7.</p>
<p>Thanks for the honest advice. My GC says the same about my poor grammar and lack of variety in sentences and vocabulary in all my essays. And this was the first time I made up my examples and halfway through I realised how it was coming off cliche and fake but didn’t have enough time to change it. I am 100% sure I’m not making it up again. I used real examples in all my other SAT essays. But all my essays have been getting worse over time(my first essay in September was around the 9/10 range) probably because of my horrible “honors” british literature class. Since September we have only written one essay and even then it was a reaction paper.
I honestly have no idea what to do. I was thinking about writing an essay a day but don’t know how would that work.</p>
<p>I am new to this forum but very, very experienced with test prep and the dirty little secret noone likes to admit about fictional examples is this - if you are good enough to create a subtle, effective, and convincing fake reference, you were already good enough to just come up with a real one.</p>
<p>So I used a real example and wrote a new essay any imput would be great
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Background
From talent contests to Olympics to the Nobel and Pulitzer prizes, we constantly seek to reward those who are “number one.” This emphasis on recognizing the winner creates the impression that the competitors, despite working hard and well, have lost. In many cases, however, the differences between the winner and the losers is slight. The wrong person may even be be selected as the winner. Awards and prizes merely distinct us from valuable qualities possessed by others beside winners. </p>
<h2>Do people place to much emphasis on winning?</h2>
<p>Since the begining of time, history has been written by the winners. The vistor writes about how battles were fought and who was the villain. However, this need for winning causes a distinction between humans and demoralizes any effort to to coexist with others. In examples, such as post world war one, the need to win caused a train on society that was a deterrent of peace.
Primarily, post world war one was an era that needed sooperation frm the victors, the allies, and the losers, the central powers, of world war one to rebuild the torn apart countries. However, the Allies felt that it was Garmany’s, a central power, obligation to pay off all the debt that was incurred during the war. This idealogy that the the loser should rebuild for everyone else initiated a resentment between countries that would develope into another war. THis burden caused a massive economic collapse in Germany. While the allies chose to not help Germany, Hitler, a manipulative dictator, gained control by scapegoating Germany’s problems on other countries. His words incited Germany to rebuild it’s military and start world war two.
To sum, winning is seen as a much sought after goal. However, when a country feels that it is superior to others it leads to resentment and even war.</p>