<p>This is exactly what I need. Thankfully I only have one midterm left, and I won't fail because of stress.
My ex-girlfriend told me today that she thinks she might be pregnant. I am completely shocked, and I don't know what to do. We used protection (condoms and the pill), so I really didn't worry about her getting pregnant. What are the chances of her getting pregnant under these circumstances? She listed off a few things she has been feeling, and they are all signs of pregnancy. She stopped taking the pill after we broke up two weeks ago, so maybe that is it? Or maybe she's just doing this to be mean since I broke up with her. Any suggestions are useful, because I'm extremely scared.</p>
<p>The only failproof birth control is abstinence, so yes, it's possible she's pregnant. Has she gone to the doctor? If not, don't worry too much...she could just be sick.</p>
<p>Has she changed anything lately? Eating habits, athletic schedule, etc...all these can cause missed periods. Many girls get scared and cry pregnancy too early before they know they're really pregnant.</p>
<p>Go to the doctor with her to see for yourself whether or not she's really pregnant. And be suspicious. I've seen girls tell their bfs they were pregnant to get them back and then "conveniently" have a miscarriage.</p>
<p>Until you see a child coming out of her... whenever it is with her, don't believe her.</p>
<p>The chances are basically zero, unless the condom broke and her pills expired and/or or she forgot to take them one day.</p>
<p>I wouldn't think too much of it if you actually did use both the pill and a condom. Just tell her to take a pregnancy test and things should be solved?</p>
<p>Chances are close to zero. It is highly highly highly unlikely that she is actually pregnant. My gf gave me the same scare once. Don't worry, girls freak out (rightfully so) and jump to conclusions. With pill and condom, you are essentially as safe as a sexually active person can be. Took my gf about a week to realize she wasn't pregnant. Don't worry.</p>
<p>if she is, you deserve it...</p>
<p>More than likely, she's screwing with you. (No pun intended). Did you break it off with her? It sounds like you probably did.</p>
<p>If she's not messing with you, and she is in fact pregnant, make sure you're actually the one responsible. You do this by asking her, but by being respectful when you ask. </p>
<p>If it seems like you're responsible, I would tell her that you'll have to support her in whatever decision she makes, but make it clear to her that the support is the required financial support and no more. In other words, you are not going to get together with her to raise the child as a couple. You guys broke up: it would be wrong to get together simply because a child was on the way, IMO. I know this from experience: my girlfriend pulled the condom off and got pregnant on purpose around the time we were breaking up. I married her to try to give the child the best chances at the beginning of life. Our very short marriage is ending -- and it never had a chance because we were already done at the beginning. Maybe the stability for a short period of time was good for the child -- I hope so -- but divorce is complicated. If I were in your situation with the knowledge I have now, I would do what I say. The message to her is simple: I am obligated to help you with this child financially and I will do that. But I can't do more.</p>
<p>And as someone madly in love with his baby daughter, I will state unequivocally that in your case I think it would a far better thing for your lives and the life/ves of putative children of yours if this pregnancy is terminated (if that's what it is). Whether one considers it life or not, it's a small number of cells (relatively). You should get your life more on track before you have kids. And so should your ex-girlfriend. And in the end that'll be better for the kid/s too. Good luck.</p>
<p>Depending on your religious and personal moral stance on abortion, you have to decide carefully what path to take, considering your future career, marriage, finance, and the impact it'll have on your mind and soul. I'd recommend giving the child up for adoption if your girlfriend really is pregnant, which I doubt she is.</p>
<p>
[quote]
If it seems like you're responsible, I would tell her that you'll have to support her in whatever decision she makes, but make it clear to her that the support is the required financial support and no more. In other words, you are not going to get together with her to raise the child as a couple. You guys broke up: it would be wrong to get together simply because a child was on the way, IMO. I know this from experience: my girlfriend pulled the condom off and got pregnant on purpose around the time we were breaking up. I married her to try to give the child the best chances at the beginning of life. Our very short marriage is ending -- and it never had a chance because we were already done at the beginning. Maybe the stability for a short period of time was good for the child -- I hope so -- but divorce is complicated. If I were in your situation with the knowledge I have now, I would do what I say. The message to her is simple: I am obligated to help you with this child financially and I will do that. But I can't do more.
[/quote]
Wow. This sounds so depressing. I just made a promise to myself that I will double check and possibly double wrap before I do the job :O</p>
<p>the pill is over 99% effective when used correctly, but in america is more like 95% effective (bc of misuse); condoms are most often used incorrectly, resulting in around an 85% protection rate instead of the potential 98% protection. and, mr_chipset, don't double wrap. it is way unsafe, friction -> much greater chance of a rip or of them coming off.
geez, did none of you take health class?
ANYWAYS, shortlifelived, your ex should be able to take one of those early-telling pregnancy tests and that's that. then you know, and you go from there. good luck. while you probably shouldn't get back together for a child, do not leave the child or her to deal with it herself. you don't have to be her boyfriend but you do have to be the kid's dad.</p>
<p>idiots.......That guy up there is probably bluffing, he was just bored and wrote some crap u actually believe this BS? you guys disgust me</p>
<p>Tell her to take the preg. test.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Depending on your religious and personal moral stance on abortion, you have to decide carefully what path to take, considering your future career, marriage, finance, and the impact it'll have on your mind and soul. I'd recommend giving the child up for adoption if your girlfriend really is pregnant, which I doubt she is.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>This poster is of course right in a way, but it's really up to your ex-girlfriend, and that's the point. You have to be really clear with her what you are willing to do and be really clear early. If she thinks you're in it for marriage and the whole thing, she might decide differently. It's possible it's a way to try to keep you with her, though this is probably not what she's doing (you'll have the best sense of that). If she carries it to term and puts it up for adoption, you'll be off the hook in one sense. But still, you'll know you'll have a child out there; I didn't want that knowledge for myself -- i.e. that I had a child in the world who I didn't know and who I couldn't be sure was being well taken care of -- though it would have been easy to go that route in some ways.</p>
<p>
[quote]
idiots.......That guy up there is probably bluffing, he was just bored and wrote some crap u actually believe this BS? you guys disgust me
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Well, you can tell yourself whatever you want. Looking at the posts above, though, it seems pretty clear who the one idiot is who posted on this thread. Whether I am bluffing or not is ultimately not material, and the poster should focus on my advice. I offered my story to indicate my perspective, but my viewpoint stands in any case. I am not telling him what he should and should not do directly -- the decision really is his girlfriend's. I am telling him what I think he should tell her so she makes a decision based on clear messages from him.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Wow. This sounds so depressing. I just made a promise to myself that I will double check and possibly double wrap before I do the job :O
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Don't be depressed on my account. I have a good job, and the time to help raise my baby daughter, and am thrilled she's here. Yes, my life in the past year and a half has been a male version of Knocked Up if you saw it (and Green Card, if you saw that movie). It's certainly not the ideal way to bring a child into the world, and the only thing I think I did wrong other than get in the situation to begin with (something I would undo if I could -- and will undo moving forward) was getting married. Do, always, keep it very well-wrapped, as even in this day and age there are folks that will pull this kind of deviousness. I was naive in thinking otherwise. And please, learn from my experience. But don't be depressed; I am glad to be a dad, though I am certainly not glad with the unilateral decision made to make me one.</p>
<p>
[quote]
while you probably shouldn't get back together for a child, do not leave the child or her to deal with it herself.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Totally agree with this.</p>
<p>
[quote]
he was just bored and wrote some crap u actually believe this BS
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Read post 42 of the following thread. Not, again, that I really care whether I am believed. At the time, it looked like I was joking -- and I was -- but I wasn't completely kidding, if you get the distinction.</p>
<p>Awww snap</p>
<p>I wonder what happened :O</p>
<p>
I think this was #3 on the list of things I learned on HSL. Doing that does not work.</p>
<p>Double wrapping sounds somewhat painful I’d think</p>
<p>Its not yours</p>
<p>I hate it when the end of the story never plays out. Either there’s a two-year-old child or a forgotten memory.</p>