<p>Maybe the OP thinks his wife fudged the data on the FAFSA</p>
<p>zoosermom, I expect my daughter to communicate with the school, my ex expects that she herself will handle everything. She frowns on the kids doing anything for themselves because it takes away her control.</p>
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<p>Doesn’t matter. If she’s selected for verification, that’s her problem, not his.</p>
<p>This is a good exercise in letting go, one of many that the OP will face as his daughter grows up. He needs to break the pattern of hauling the ex to court (or threatening to) for his own well-being.</p>
<p>vballmom, I have never taken my ex to court before this. I am not sure how you figure that I am hauling her to court for my own well-being? Perhaps I am misunderstanding?</p>
<p>It sounds like the OP wants to continue another 4+ years of post-divorce financial wrestling in a situation that does <em>not</em> need to go there.</p>
<p>Instead of thinking of this as putting the daughter “in the middle” of things, think of it as the daughter being an <em>adult</em> and now you get to work directly <em>with</em> your adult daughter and cut out the mother-as-middleman.</p>
<p>Simply call your daughter and say “I’ll pay half of your EFC but only after I see a physical copy of the award letter. You can get a copy of your award letter directly from the college. No award letter, no money from Dad. That is just how the real world works.”</p>
<p>Let the daughter deal with the realities here… otherwise it will be the same darn run-around for 4 more years. I bet once daughter realizes that 1/2 her tuition is left unpaid and when Mom isn’t paying the gap that your daughter will get VERY good at responding to a SIMPLE AND COURTEOUS AND REASONABLE REQUEST for her Dad.</p>
<p>Frankly, if the daughter can’t handle this request, she isn’t mature enough to handle college. Since when do children-of-divorce become exempt from all simple requests that take all of 10 minutes to perform? All the other stuff is just silly excuses on the part of all parties involved.</p>
<p>Annika</p>
<p>How much is the college? How much are you willing to pay? Those are the things that are the most important to you.</p>
<p>The EFC is not the point. If the EFC is say $10K, it does not mean that the college is going to be coming up with the everything or even anything over EFC. THe EFC is just the number FAFSA spits out and that the government will fund with PELL grants if it is low enough. Who cares what the EFC is for the mom? Is the OP going to run his numbers through the FAFSA calculator too? </p>
<p>I don’t know any colleges that say they will fund 100% of all above EFC. Every school that guarantee to meet need requires additional info. ALso if the college is awarding some merit money, it may not care about the EFC. And if OP can’t pay the COA or half the COA, then the EFC isn’t going to mean beans.</p>
<p>bluedanube, as you will find out the schools really don’t like the parents meddling and in many cases won’t communicate with the parents at all. The is a major change that takes place right after the students start school (and in some cases even a little earlier). I suspect this might get easier as time goes on and the main communication goes from the school to your daughter and then to you or your ex.</p>
<p>Annika, thank you, I guess I had never been able to see it that way. I still need to work out an agreement as far as who pays for what with my ex, but you are right that I should work with my daughter only about everything else since it’s her responsibility and not her mother’s.</p>
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<p>Yes, you’re misunderstanding (and I probably wasn’t clear). For your own well-being, you need to diffuse the drama around this issue. Don’t look to the courts to solve this and/or other problems, and don’t let the threat of being hauled to court by your ex make you overreact.</p>
<p>If your daughter is 18, you’re not legally required to deal with your ex. If you have no negotiated settlement agreement dealing with college expenses, you’re not legally required to pay anything. Now, of course you’re a good father and of course you want to contribute your share. But if you get hung up on what “your share” is, that is also going to increase your frustration and anger. Is it worth it? Only you can say. But I’d suggest focusing on the end result, which is that your D gets through college. </p>
<p>Your D will eventually see her college accounts and will be aware of what needs to be paid. Maybe not right now, but once she gets on campus she’ll be dealing with the bursar’s office. She’ll be responsible for paying her tuition and other expenses. She’ll know how much you’re contributing and how much her mother is. Who else cares? As long as you’re comfortable that you’ve contributed “your share” and that you’ve done the right thing, who cares what the ex says and to whom? No court is going to give your ex the time of day on this: college expenses, unless spelled out in a settlement agreement and submitted in court as part of a divorce, are not the legal obligation of either parent.</p>
<p>My best to you.</p>
<p>Actually, it depends on the state laws. Some states require support through college. Unless the divorce agreement or state laws have some specification of who pays what, it has to be negotiated. It seems to me that the OP is worried that the ex wife is not going to pay her share. The EFC is not necessarily “her share” and probably is not going to be a meaningful number to you. What you can/are willing to pay and the COA are the most relevant numbers.</p>
<p>Just another point; for most students, they do NOT have their financial aid award packages yet, so they don’t know how much it is going to cost. OP, you may have to wait until April 1st for your kid to get financial aid figures. That’s the date many colleges finish with acceptance offers.</p>
<p>That’s a great point. Has your daughter received the acceptance and financial aid package already and made a final decision about where to attend?</p>
<p>I agree. As I keep saying, the EFC is not the point here.</p>
<p>Since the OP hasn’t indicated which state he’s in, I’ve been assuming that the state laws do not require the parent to pay college expenses. Note that the applicable law is where the original order for child support was made, not the parent’s current state of residence. </p>
<p>Here is some information that might be slightly out of date, but it’s a start:</p>
<p>Alabama - Courts may require parents to provide post-minority support for child’s college education.
Alaska - Courts may not require parents to pay for college.
Arizona - No statute or case law holding parents to duty.
Arkansas - No statute or case law holding parents to duty.
California - No statute or case law holding parent to duty.
Colorado - Colo. Rev. Stat. § 14-10-115(1.5)(b) provides that for orders entered prior to July 1, 1997, support may be ordered. In re Marriage of Robb, 934 P.2d 927 (Colo. Ct. App. 1997). </p>
<p>Connecticut - No statute or case law holding parent to duty.
Delaware - No statute or case law holding parent to duty.
District of Columbia - D.C. Code § 16-916 provides that minor children are entitled to support; the age of majority is 21. </p>
<p>Florida - No statute or case law holding parent to duty.
Georgia No statute or case law holding parent to duty.
Hawaii - Haw. Rev. Stat. § 580-47 and Haw. C.S.G. provide that courts may order support for adult children in college.
Idaho - No statute or case law holding parent to duty.
Illinois - 750 Ill. Law. Con. Stat. § 5/513 provides that court may make provisions for educational expenses of child, whether or minor or majority age.
Indiana - Ind. Code § 31-1-11.5-12(b)(1) provides that a child support order may include sums for institution of higher learning.
Iowa - Iowa Code § 598.1(2) provides that support means an obligation which may include support for a child between 18 and 21. </p>
<p>Kansas - No statute or case law holding parent to duty.
Kentucky - No statute or case law holding parent to duty.
Louisiana - No statute or case law holding parent to duty.
Maine - No statute or case law holding parent to duty.
Maryland - No statute or case law holding parent to duty.
Massachusetts - Mass. Gen. Laws ch. 208, § 28 allows court to render support order for child between ages 18 and 21 who is dependent on parent for support. </p>
<p>Michigan - No statute or case law holding parent to duty.
Minnesota - No statute or case law holding parent to duty.
Mississippi - Age of majority is 21; college support may be ordered. Stokes v. Martin, 596 So. 2d 879 (Miss. 1992).
Missouri - Mo. R. Civ. Pro. 88.01; Mo. Rev. Stat. § 452.240.5 provides that support obligation may be extended to age 22 for college.
Montana - No statute or case law holding parent to duty.
Nebraska - No statute or case law holding parent to duty.
Nevada - No statute or case law holding parent to duty.
New Hampshire - Gnirk v. Gnirk, 134 N.H. 199, 589 A.2d 1008 (1991) held that support may be awarded for college expenses.
New Jersey - Newburgh v. Newburgh, 88 N.J. 529, 443 A.2d 1031 (1982) held that court has jurisdiction to entertain motion to modify original judgment of divorce to award payment of college expenses. </p>
<p>New Mexico - No statute or case law holding parent to duty. </p>
<p>New York - N.Y. Dom. Rel. Law § 240(1-b)(c)(7) provides that court may award educational expenses for college to age 21.
North Carolina - No statute or case law holding parent to duty.
North Dakota - N.D. Cent. Code § 14-09-08 allows court to order college expenses. Donarski v. Donarski, 581 N.W.2d 130 (N.D. 1998)
Ohio - No statute or case law holding parent to duty.
Oklahoma - No statute or case law holding parent to duty.
Oregon - Or. Rev. Stat. § 107.275(1)(e) authorizes court to order parent to pay support for child attending school to age 21. In re Marriage of Crocker, 157 Or. App. 651 (1998)
Pennsylvania - No authority to award college support.
Rhode Island - No statute or case law holding parent to duty.
South Carolina - Court may order college support.
South Dakota - No statute or case law holding parent to duty.
Tennessee - No statute or case law holding parent to duty.
Texas - No statute or case law holding parent to duty.
Utah - Utah Code Ann. § 15-2-1 provides that in divorce actions, courts may order support to age 21.
Vermont - No statute or case law holding parent to duty.
Virginia - No statute or case law holding parent to duty.
Washington Wash. Rev. Code § 26.19.090 provides that the court may, in its discretion, award college support. </p>
<p>West Virginia - No statute or case law holding parent to duty.
Wisconsin - No statute or case law holding parent to duty.
Wyoming - No statute or case law holding parent to duty.</p>
<p>I agree that while the EFC is just a number, it is at least a starting point from which I can get an idea of how much financial aid my daughter would get until she got her letter. The FAFSA was processed a month ago and I had asked for the EFC number just to get a general idea of what to expect since I knew it would be another 4-6 weeks before she got her award letter.</p>
<p>The EFC doesn’t tell you much of anything, doesn’t give a general idea. It just lets you know your ex’s financial situation, but that’s not your business. If your daughter doesn’t have the award letter, then you’ve just got to be patient like everyone else. Your ex doesn’t know what she’s going to be paying yet, either. Like someone else said, check out the cost of the school (assuming she’s decided) and you’ll know what the top possible amount is. Has your daughter made a decision? I understand that you’re anxious, but you’re the one stirring up trouble if there is no award yet and your ex will rightly think you’re being nosy.</p>
<p>How far away from home is this school? Transportation costs will likely be a factor as well. I highly recommend you look up the schools posted budget for 2009/10 and see what that is as a starting point. At least you will know what the published costs are. Look up the cost of meal plans and housing, health insurance requirements.</p>
<p>Knowing the costs and then applying the out-of-pocket will help you get a start on this. How to allocate FA to individual parents is next step. Are you expecting your daughter to earn her own spending money and clothing money? There are plenty of costs that aren’t tuition, housing, books.</p>
<p>Knowledge is power. Loans may be a part of what your daughter will consider, she should have some ability to discuss this with both parents in my view.</p>
<p>I didn’t read through all four pages, but I have to wonder why the OP feels that he is entitled to see the FAFSA ? It doesn’t really concern you since it is based on your ex’s financial information.
I would wait until the actual award comes in and ask to see that, as well as any bills not covered by financial aid. Those are the only numbers that are relevant to you and your share of your daughter’s bill.</p>
<p>Have your daughter sign the ferpa release form and then you can get a copy of the award letter or contact the office directly. The release letter is usually available online or through the office. Going through a lawyer would be foolish. You both will spend more money and time that could be better spent on your daugther. It would go to court long after those bills were due. Keep good records of your communications, requests etc just in case she chooses to take that route. If she hasn’t received the award letter yet maybe she doesn’t realize what will be included on it? perhaps she thinks her income etc will be shown as it does on the fafsa? Perhaps open an acct and put the money for college there with your daugther as the 2nd name on the account. Send a registered letter to her that you have put aside this money as your contribution as required and you will withdraw it when you receive the proper documentation. (the award letter or bill) That way she can not go back and say you refused to pay. What a mess. I’d tattoo my award letter on my ass if my ex were willing to pay half!!</p>