<p>I think many people when getting started on this misconstrue what FAFSA is really all about. Just my take on it.</p>
<p>Just to be clear to everyone, I did not ask to see the FAFSA, I understand that her financial situation is none of my business, just as mine is none of her business.</p>
<p>My point is just that I am a father, trying to support his daughter, and I am feeling some frustration over the lack of information being provided in order for me to be able to do that.</p>
<p>The EFC is going to tell you anything. All it guarantees is PELL at a certain level or below. It’s COA, your ability/willingness to pay, and financial aid that is going to make the difference. Financial aid and EFC are not necessarily linked as no school I know will guarantee to meet costs over the EFC. Those schools would ask for PROFILE. Is your D going to the state U? State Us do not usually meet 100% of need though they tend to use FAFSA as a sole financial aid app.</p>
<p>I’m very new at this, but from what I understand, and as others have said, the FAFSA EFC is based on your ex’s and her spouse’s income.</p>
<p>But many schools require you to fill out not only the FAFSA but also another Profile form that would contain your financial information as well. On the Profile form, your information and that of your ex’s information are done separately, with separate accounts and passwords etc. to keep confidentiality. </p>
<p>It seems to me like you were not asked to fill out this other form. Perhaps the schools that your D was applying to did not require it?</p>
<p>In addition, you worry that your ex will take you to court over college expenses. As vballmom has pointed out, not all states would necessarily compel you through the courts to provide support for college. And even in some of those states that do, your ex would be required to petition the court for this before your D reaches the age of majority, which is 18 in some states and 19 in others; otherwise, if it is done later, the courts can’t do anything. Furthermore, the courts do not necessarily compel anyone to pay for much more beyond what a state school tuition would be (and perhaps room and board, but I don’t know), and even that tuition (and possibly room and board) would be split with your ex. It is not like the courts can compel you to pay, for example, a significant portion of a 40K+ private school (or even half) (unless you have significant financial resources, which the court would have taken into consideration already when determining child support).</p>
<p>So a lot of this depends on what schools she has applied to and how much you are willing to provide.</p>
<p>About what kind of income does your ex and her spouse have? With just one child in college, if they are making close to $100K and have decent assets, the EFC is likely to be a 999999. If your D has seen the report, she must know the EFC number. But as I keep saying, that is not relevant to you.</p>
<p>The OP can get an idea of the EFC by using one of the calculators:</p>
<p>[FinAid</a> | Calculators | Expected Family Contribution (EFC) and Financial Aid](<a href=“Your Guide for College Financial Aid - Finaid”>Expected Family Contribution (EFC) Calculator - Finaid)</p>
<p>assuming you can estimate your ex’s income within a reasonable amount. You can at least input your financial information to see what would be expected of you if you were sole support.</p>
<p>I haven’t seen where to OP said college support was court ordered, so I think going to court would be pointless. I don’t think your ex would get anywhere either if you chose not to pay her. You really won’t know your portion until you see the award letter. For now, you can go to the college website your daughter has chosen and find the estimated cost of attending. Some colleges also have stats on the average size of awards. </p>
<p>In any case, do not pay your ex any money for college. I’d set up a bank account for your daughter where both of you can access or pay directly to the college.</p>
<p>I agree with the advice above. I suggest that you deal only with the daughter. Set up a joint checking account with her and then you can put money in and she can take it out… She’ll like the taking it out part :)</p>
<p>You need to work with your daughter to work out the logistics - but in general, I’d put it in on a scheduled basis so that she can plan appropriately - perhaps even have a calendar. </p>
<p>Lastly - good for you for paying your share - so many fathers don’t.</p>
<p>I didn’t read through all these threads because this is what my first inclination would be:</p>
<p>“I am happy to pay for my fair share of college expenses which, as you know, are not my legal obligation. However, I really insist upon access to whatever financial records are afforded the student. I am happy to contact the school directly and tell them my willingness to help defray the costs, but that MIGHT have them recalculating numbers which will only hurt little suzie. If that is your intention, I suggest the three of us sit down and discuss it.”</p>
<p>“Just to be clear to everyone, I did not ask to see the FAFSA…”</p>
<p>I think in your first post you said that you asked to see the FAFSA and she wouldn’t show it to you.</p>
<p>There have been quite a few good ideas presented here. We know you are trying to help and feeling frustrated. You’ve said that a number of times, and it’s great that you are trying to help your daughter. There have been a number of good suggestions put forth here that would help. </p>
<p>Personally I would go directly to my daughter to get access to the school info, and proceed from there. The school won’t give it to you without her giving you an access code or some kind of permission. Everything goes to the kid these days.</p>
<p>The thing is that the award letter isn’t out yet so there’s no information to have right now.</p>
<p>OK…what am I missing here? In order to pay, you need to see the BILL which is sent by the bursars office. You should be paying directly to the college. The bursar’s bill will have the total amount due, and will also show any aid that has been awarded and dispersed. When you see the bill…write a check to the COLLEGE. That bill probably won’t come until sometime during the summer.</p>
<p>My concern is that if dad sets up an account with his name and the D’s on it and the account doesn’t require two signatures for disbursement, she could take the $$ and spend it with impunity. The other thing is that if it’s in her name, it will be assessed as a STUDENT asset and subject to a higher spend-down rate than if it’s listed in Dad’s name alone.</p>
<p>Call me financially paranoid, but no way do my kids get access to the assets we’re using to pay for college. They can see the FAFSA and PROFILE, we talk freely about their skin in the game and our share, but the money we’re paying is in our names.</p>
<p>P.S. re: thumper – That’s the other thing – I pay bills to the college, not the kid. Kid gives me access to Bursar’s bill; kid gets to attend class. Win-win.</p>
<p>You know…my husband and I are happily married and our college bills get paid to the BURSAR…not to the kid, not to each other’s accounts…to the BURSAR’s office at the school. We look at the bill and figure out which accounts the money will come from to pay the bills. Yes…we do have several accounts…and yes, some are joint and some are held individually. BUT the checks for college get made out to the COLLEGE.</p>
<p>Many schools longer send bills or even paper award letters. Instead, students have access to their financial aid, fiscal, and academic status 24/7 through an automated system. You daughter can either give you her access information or submit a FERPA form ([Family</a> Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA)](<a href=“http://www.ed.gov/policy/gen/guid/fpco/ferpa/index.html]Family”>http://www.ed.gov/policy/gen/guid/fpco/ferpa/index.html) - every school has a form that a student can fill out to grant parents access to their information).</p>
<p>zic describes how my D’s college handled college bills. D put us down as college bill payers, we got an email when a college bill was due, we either sent a bill directly to the college or electronically transferred funds from our bank account to the school.</p>
<p>I can see where a parent might want to know what college bills were going to be in the future for planning purposes, but it is too early for many awards letters. So I’m with Thumper…just hang in there and be patient.</p>
<p>I’m with Thumper too. As usual.</p>
<p>Dad, Chill.</p>
<p>When the bill comes due (electronic account accessible to your daughter) ask her for a print out and deposit half in the school account. Granted you won’t have much forward visibility, but college won’t become another war zone.</p>
<p>You may also want to talk to your daughter about allowance and spending money and work out a budget. Give her half the budget in pieces. </p>
<p>You are making this all way too hard.</p>
<p>Both of our kids have the ability to have US have access to their bursar’s accounts. They indicated that we were to have this access. All it took was them filling out a form. We have our own access PIN and can view the Bursar’s account information any old time we please. AND because WE are listed as payers on the account in addition to the kids (remember…the bills in college are usually sent to the STUDENT…not the parents), we also get notification each month about viewing our child’s bursar’s account.</p>
<p>We check it every month…and pay accordingly TO THE SCHOOL.</p>
<p>Unless the young lady has already picked a school, that may be on the schedule. Everyone needs to know what the cost is and who is willing to pay what. Not a cool situation if D picks BU over UMass and expects Dad to pick up that tab. Does OP know what the expectations are for him to pay? What is Mom willing and able to pay? Is a college picked already, and what is the COA of that school? The EFC is not the issue.</p>
<p>My friend who is divorced had a nasty fight with her ex over all of this. The understanding was that he would pay for college. He always said he would. But it was never clear how much he was willing to pay. When their D decided to go to a top cost LAC, the trouble started. Dad did not want to pay anywhere near that amount. Because he made too much for her to get financial aid, but Mom did not have enough to swing the payment. At the last minute she had to apply to a local state school and commute. She would have gotten some money had she not waited as late as she did to apply there, but money was not a consideration. Lack of communication was the problem all around, and everyone paid for it. </p>
<p>Make sure your D is aware of how much you are able and willing to pay. Also the conditions under which you will pay the money.</p>
<p>Bluedanube, another poster already told you that FAFSA only needs the income of one parent on the FAFSA. If you add yours to it, you will then up the total parental contribution required and harm your daughters chances at good loans and grants.</p>
<p>The bigger issue is , educate yourself. Google FAFSA and these other issues for yourself, that would have answered all your questions and shown your daughter that you care enough about her to educate yourself… then if you really want to help, talk to your daughter and ask her what she needs from you to help. Then provide that.</p>
<p>The time for blaming your ex is over, I know you want to…but as many counselors will tell you…your relationship with your child is up to you. Blaming mom is just an excuse for not doing your own research and talking to your daughter.
You mention over and over your ex won’t share with you, Kids resent that, they are worried about leaving home, going to college, what it will be like, they are overwhelmed at this stage of their life. Just be the adult now, be the parent and stop blaming her mom.</p>
<p>My best advice for you is get over it. Your daughter is becoming an adult now. Talk to her directly and listen to her, if you want to help, then help HER and leave the mom out of the conversations, it just pushes your daughter away from you believe me.</p>