Excitement Etiquette: Whats socially acceptable when reporting college news?

Applying to College
1

<p>For years I pondered the fate of upperclassmen at my school...wondering from which schools they had been accepted/rejected, wondering why they did not publicly broadcast the news so that underclassmen could gage their future prospects. I wondered why older friends seemed a bit secretive, or off-standish when asked about college plans. And I still wonder why seniors do this today--even though I am now one of them.</p>

<p>Yes, I know that everyone is wondering where I applied, where I will end up next year...but the topic seems taboo. Listing my applications is a tricky task; the oaths and hash over top schools are aggravating, rather than confidence boosting. Once my acquaintances know where I am applying, they will want to know where I am accepted...and we all know how difficult admissions are these days. Of course, many an adult (or perhaps my family only?) doesn't realize the competition, and believes that any smart, dedicated student with good grades has a strong shot at that Harvard fat envelope.</p>

<p>Nonetheless, the time is soon approaching for all the envelopes to come in the mail, the disappointments, the pleasant surprises, the expected results. I was wondering how past seniors (and current seniors) plan on dealing with this experience, OR whether I am just solitarily insane in my preoccupation with the ordeal. </p>

<p>Thus far, I've received positive news regarding a few schools and scholarships. I am excited. But I don't want, or don't know how, to go reporting the news to those waiting to hear of my outcomes. I don't want my friends to think I am bragging, nor do I want to make them feel inferior when and if they do not receive similar results. And if feels weird going up to a teacher and saying "Guess What!??"... </p>

<p>And then, what does one do later on? University, and you've just been rejected. I'm pretty sure I can handle that, but how to let others down lightly, so to speak? </p>

<p>Maybe I'm crazy. But this is just something I've been thinking about...and these thoughts may be just the reason why I was left unaware of past seniors college results. </p>

<p>What do you think?</p>

2

<p>Want2bIvy, great post! :slight_smile: You have tons of company in your
ruminations I am sure. </p>

<p>I am in a similar situation, pondering away how best to break it to my
BB loving friends that I got a letter to Duke or tell someone selectively
without telling someone else. </p>

<p>For the time being I have settled on just informing the teacher who
gave me the recommendations and my GC and not anyone else.</p>

<p>Aunts do not dare to ask me anything (:stuck_out_tongue: teen-smokescreen).</p>

<p>My MIT interviewer actually was so helpful and involved I called the EC
and sent a special thank you letter when I heard about my EA admit.</p>

<p>Other than that no one knows my admittance profile except my immediate family.</p>

<p>:)</p>

3

<p>I plan on telling only my closest friends where I’ve been accepted/rejected. For others, if they ask me then I’ll reply with an answer. For teachers, I’m not really sure yet, though it doesn’t feel weird at all to me to be blatantly saying where I’ve been accepted since I’m sure the teacher would really be interested. Of course, this is assuming I’m planning on letting only teachers who I actually care about know. I have no reason to be telling teachers who I’ve had but never made a connection with of my plans (unless they ask me).</p>

<p>Short answer for me: Tell it to people who you are close with (it shouldn’t be awkward at all). For the rest, just answer if they ask, if they don’t then that’s fine also.</p>

<p>But to be honest, is it really that big of a deal? I find it stupid that kids these days care so much about other people’s college results…Should just really mind their own business.</p>

4

<p>opqpop, I have never heard about it being a big deal except here on CC. Maybe that’s because we don’t live in an area where people are so psyched out about it. Here kids tell their friends. It would actually be more weird to be secretive about it. They don’t go around announcing it to the general public, necessarily, but how would they anyway? Stand in the school quad with a bullhorn? Many will show up from at some point in a college t-shirt or sweatshirt, but tons of kids wear those for all kinds of colleges just for the heck of it, not because they’re going there or even want to go there. It doesn’t necessarily mean much to kids outside one’s circle of friends.</p>

<p>Anyway, my answer to the original poster, is treat other people in the way you’d like to be treated. If you think hearing of someone else’s good fortune would make you feel bragged at, then make sure you don’t make somone else feel that way about your news. If you’d feel like you were being patronized by having the news withheld from you specifically, then don’t make someone else feel that way. If you’d like to rejoice with your friends over their good news, they may well want to do likewise with you.</p>

<p>Ulitimately, you can’t control other people’s feelings. When in doubt, the Golden Rule is almost always the way to go.</p>

5

<p>Our school has a tradition that on May 2 every one wears the t-shirt for the school they plan to attend in the fall. The students take a huge class picture (about 180 seniors) in their t-shirts for the senior edition of the school paper.</p>

6

<p>Yeah, I guess I generalized too much based off my school. My school is very competitive and mostly everyone is obsessed with where others go lol. So sad.</p>

7

<p>I know exactly what you’re feeling too! The problem with only telling your close friends, is that it somehow leaks out and you get a bunch of people asking you about it afterwards and why you hadn’t told them earlier. If I get into my dream schools (which will never happen, but hey, a guy can dream!), I would probably just tell the teachers who I am closest to and wrote my recs, and my family. I would definitely tell my closest friends but make sure that they don’t broadcast it around school. I think it’s definitely an awesome thing to be happy about your accomplishments but many times, individuals who applied to the same schools who received a rejection or have yet to receive a decision, don’t really enjoy hearing your news. The individuals who will be happy for you no matter what are the individuals you should tell.</p>

<p>Oh we have the college t-shirt day too. It’s pretty funny, because ours is really early in april, and some people who haven’t received decisions, just wear shirts that say ‘college’.</p>

8

<p>I told my close friends that I was admitted to my first choice school, and only when they asked. </p>

<p>Any celebration that is forced upon others (even unintentionally) is rude. Asking people about their acceptances or rejections (or grades or scores, for that matter) is also rude. Be as conservative as possible.</p>

9

<p>Hmm… I’ll do something like opqpop. My close friends will know, and I’ll tell anyone that asks. I don’t really talk about college that much lately… After the ED round, it seems a little stupid.</p>

<p>If I get into Bryn Mawr, I’ll tell my Swarthmore friends… </p>

<p>I’m not sure. I got a likely letter and I haven’t told anyone other than a close Swat friend so far, so my acceptance letters will probably go the same way.</p>

<p>Ah, and as for teachers: Hmm. If they ask, I’ll tell them, and I’ll probably tell the ones that wrote my recs and one of my current teachers… I’ll see.</p>

10

<p>our school has a book in the guidance department. if you choose to (which most do), you put your name and the colleges you’ve been accepted to, and they announce them every morning during the announcements</p>

<p>however, when i first saw the title, i thought about streaking and yelling the name of my top choice through the streets (only acceptable for HYPSM admits)</p>

11

<p>I told my friends at lunch about my acceptances and my teachers and GC who wrote my recs know because they have asked. I have told anyone else who has asked. If you are concerned about how your friends will react, talk to them now about what you all plan to do when letters come out and- only talk about acceptances, tell during lunch, etc. (That’s what we did.) When other people ask, you don’t have to tell them where you were rejected. Just say I got in _____ and I’m so excited because they have _____ and keep talking about that school. They’ll forget they asked about your rejections. When others ask me about where I applied, I always list my match/safety schools- no reaches- so if I am accepted its good news to share and if I’m rejected very few people know.</p>

12

<p>I was actually put into this position today, after i got a surprise acceptance to my 1st choice school yesterday. I decided to tell my guidance counselor and the teachers that wrote my recs, and the two teachers that have known since the beginning of the year what my first choice was. i also told a few friends. i’ve decided to not say anything unless i’m asked about it.</p>

13

<p>I wouldn’t flaunt it at school. In fact, I’d keep the acceptance a secret simply because I wouldn’t want that attention, nor would I want people to view me differently just because I got into selective college X. I’d just be relieved that this college admissions burden was over.</p>

14

<p>lol i get what the OP is saying. sometimes you want to celebrate with your friends, but at the same time you don’t want them to feel bad about not being accepted where you were. my temporary solution? telling only underclassmen that have no idea what it means anyway.</p>

15

<p>It’s difficult not to spread word of good news but remember that others’ news may not be as happy. My eldest son got in to his ED school on the same day that several of his friends got deferrals and rejections from their ED choices; he refrained from wearing the hoodie we got him in public until all of his friends received better news later on.</p>

16

<p>I told people that I got into my backup school, but it’s mainly because they asked and/or because I wanted to let them know that I’d stop being paranoid, now.</p>

<p>If I happen to get into any of my reach schools, I plan on making that information available on an ask-only basis. Even though most of my friends didn’t apply to reaches, I don’t want to be a jerk. They’ve already had to hear me obsess over applications.</p>

17

<p>you have to follow my policy of “not giving a s h * t”</p>

18

<p>easiest and most-laid back route (at least, for me)
…
“dude, i got in…”</p>

19

<p>At our school we post our acceptances on postits and stick them on our couselor’s door. But my friends and I want to have a rejections wall of honor. It is important for those who follow to know the rejections too. It makes everyone feel less alone, especially when struggling through the “March Massacre.”</p>

20

<p>Knowing that three other people in my class applied to UChicago EA, I didn’t want to tell anyone about my acceptance until I knew what the others’ outcomes had been. However, I couldn’t contain my excitement and told one friend, who proceeded to tell everyone he came across. The news spread like wildfire as the first fairly elite acceptance aside from a girl who got into BC. But its tough to be excited about getting into your first choice knowing that other people weren’t so lucky; one of my friends got in, while one was rejected and one deferred. My advice is to be happy about your acceptances but try not to spread it around when you know other people didn’t fare so well.</p>