I grew up very poor, but I remember having to wash dishes as one of my chores. I hated it.
When I was dating, I was at my boyfriend’s house and I learned how to operate a dishwasher and I thought that I would always have a dishwasher so that I wouldn’t have to do dishes. I still hate doing the dishes and washing all the pots and pans and parts.
Do you remember the easy bake oven? Well I received a gift; it wasn’t an easy bake oven, because my parents couldn’t afford that, but it was a little automatic washing machine that was battery powered and you put in water and batteries. It was supposed to wash the clothes. I thought it was the most amazing thing!
When I had to help my mom with the laundry we had an old old washer where you had to put the clothing in and ring it out through the wringer. I thought that a new modern washer would be so easy and that the laundry would automatically dry, and fold itself.
My expectation was the laundry and dishes would eventually go away. The fantasies of the young!
I thought I’d be more outgoing and social. I also thought I’d cook/bake more. I turn 60 in two months, not sure those are going to happen and I’m fine with that!
I thought I’d have grandkids in my 50s, which is when I thought I’d be young enough to really enjoy them. My kids have four months to make that happen.
I posted the following on the book thread a few days ago:
Regretting Motherhood is a "kindle book of the day” that caught my attention. I’m not sure I’ll like it but the book’s description intrigues me. “ A provocative and deeply important study of women’s lives, women’s choices—and an ‘unspoken taboo’—that questions the societal pressures forcing women into motherhood.”
It’s not my usual type of reading material but I frequently check out the ‘kindle deal of the day’ books. It sounded interesting and it was only a couple of dollars. I’m glad I read it. It deals with expectations vs. reality when it comes to motherhood. I recommend it.
When I was very young I thought my future would be exactly like The Jetsons. My kids were similarly influenced by Epcot’s “Horizons” pavilion and its portrayal of the future.
In my early 20s, I thought I’d be Auntie Mame to our nieces and nephews instead of having children of my own. I’d still enjoy the Jetsons lifestyle but am glad I was wrong about being able to have kids.
@Youdon_tsay - my mom is still enjoying her youngest grandkids (6, 5 and 2) at 80 years old. Mom walks the 2 year old (in the stroller) to story time at the local library every Tuesday.
Yes, I have changed my expectations because of my reality. lol It’s one reason I have lost so much weight and am working out … gonna need to be in good shape for quite awhile, it seems.
I have been thinking on this question a little for the past few days. My expectations regarding friends and who I spend time with has changed. In my 20’s I spent lots of time with the people I met during my college years, now I see them only once a year or so (even though we all live fairly close to each other). I spent tons of time with the parents of my daughter’s classmates during her school years, and now I just see them on occasion at the supermarket. I didn’t realize that in the long run, you only stay close to people whom you really like, not those you are thrown together with by chance. The one exception to this is the playgroup from when my daughter was born. Obviously, we no longer see each other once a week for playdates, but we are a solid group and do try to see each other on a regular basis.
Having a solid marriage was one of my highest ideals from childhood though my 30s. That it didn’t work out has been a great challenge and led to life being perhaps harder, if more interesting than anticipated. I often think of how I am so fortunate to live in a place I treasure, with interesting friends, family and activities galore.
Time seemed infinite when I was a teenager, but it gets much less so as I get older. There is no way for a kid to understand how truly precious time is.
Since I was 18, my life philosophy has changed so radically, that I do not know whether I could have a normal discussion with 18 year old me. I don’t know whether I could explain the life I expected, since that life only existed in Israel of the early 1980s. I would have to go into far too many explanations for it to make sense. Suffice to say that none of my plans included living where I am, as I am living, and doing what I am doing.
It is a shock when you realize that you have likely already lived more than half of your life…
Life is like a bowl of ice cream. When you start enjoying it, it seems like every time you take a bite, there is still a lot left in the dish. As your enjoyment progresses, you realize that what’s left in the bowl is not going to last long… fewer and fewer bites are left to enjoy…. unless you your bowl was so full in the beginning that by the time you finish it, you are really sick of it and want no more.
I had a very unrealistic view of love/marriage when I was young—how much work it is, how disappointing it can be sometimes. My parents made it look easy and conflict was brushed under the rug in my house. It took me a long time to accept that conflict was a part of life and could be worked out without it being the end of the world.
