<p>My son has recently been expelled from an elite university for academic dishonesty. He has always been a terrific student with SAT scores of 2150 and high GPA in an extremely competitive high school. His freshman year was OK, although his GPA was probably around a 3.3and historically has always worked harder and done better. I thought it was a transitioning period in a very competitive university and he would rally sophomore year. </p>
<p>However, he began to have a very difficult year, beginning with a major sports injury in the fall requiring surgery. He tells me now; he felt an internal struggle and was having difficulty "fitting in". He pledged and joined a fraternity in the spring, which took up a lot of his time and began to have an adverse effect on his grades.</p>
<p>He said he felt extremely tired and admitted to being a poor time manager. He stated time got away from him and he admitted to plagiarism. He admitted to the wrong doing and accepted the suspension. This was escalated to an expulsion, when a second incident became evident. Again he admitted to it and was expelled</p>
<p>He since has been diagnosed with Lyme Disease and is currently in treatment. He is doing an unpaid internship during the day M-F and working in a restaurant 6-7 nights/wk . When the internship finishes in December, hopefully, he will begin therapy.
He is living at home and has no social life at all other than work. At this time, there is no evidence of alcohol use or drugs of any kind (other than the antibiotic treatment for the Lyme Disease). He does admit to drinking alcohol and smoking pot while at school.
He is a gentle, kind person who has always been respectful and has never been in trouble of any kind before. It has been a terrible year. </p>
<p>He has taken full responsibility for his actions, but doesn't know how to move forward. What path would he need to take to accomplish successful admission/transfer into a college with all of this on his transcript? Is there any hope? HELP!</p>
<p>I don’t have one in college yet and so am of no help but wanted to say that I’m sorry for what you and ds are going through and know others here will be of help.</p>
<p>Wow. My thoughts are with you right now, I can’t imagine what the past year has been like for you.</p>
<p>Honestly, because of colleges ‘zero tolerance’ policy with plagiarism, I don’t think he could get in to universities immediately even with that section on the common application to explain something on your record. I would have him spend two years at community college – but in this time he has to be extremely active at an internship and job etc. Then when he transfers after two years, his essay should probably be on how this situation has transformed his life. And if it hasn’t transformed it enough to the point that the essay is sincere and believable…then he isn’t ready to transfer. He’ll also need excellent personal, professional, and academic references. Also, a note/letter from his therapist would also probably go a long way.</p>
<p>I don’t think he’ll be back at any elite universities – but all hope is not lost.</p>
<p>I suspect that he will have a difficult time trying to get into another university now, especially given that he has not one, but two offenses. Community college could be a possibility, but I’m not an expert on anything like this. Some of the parents here that are/were professors may be of more help.</p>
<p>Why did he do it again after he was already suspended for the first time?</p>
<p>As hard as this situation seems now, it sounds like your son is handling it as well as possible. He was stressed and ill and, in desperation, made some foolish choices. Well, so do most of us at one time or another. And, most of us go on to lead pretty successful lives. In ten years this will seem like nothing.
Godspeed on his recovery from Lyme Disease. In your position, I would try to be supportive but let him decide his course of action.</p>
<p>I read the original post as implying that the second act was discovered after the suspension, but had occured around the same time at the first.</p>
<p>I second the above ^^^This sounds terrible for all of you. I think the internship and the job are just the right thing–he can do well there and it will give him confidence. Once he recovers from Lyme and starts therapy, you can all begin to think ahead together. This might be a case for a paid college counselor, who can get to know him and will also know various adcoms. It’s an awful bump in the road-- but everyone’s healthy, and he knows he’s made a mistake and does not intend to repeat it. A good therapist can do a world of good-- and he’s got your support and concern, and the same qualities that got him into a good school will work for him as he finds his way.</p>
<p>I think that what is needed is time between expulsion and re-admission. If it were my kid, I’m not sure that I’d advocate community college. (I think he’d soon end up with more academic credits than he’ll be able to use.) </p>
<p>A couple of years of paid work or volunteer work or technical training (any interest in learning to network computers or be a chef or do graphic design, etc?) might be be possibilities. Or (once he is feeling well), this might be a good time to spend time on language fluency, living outside of the U.S.? Like a mid-academic career “gap year.” I think taking one academic year off may not be long enough, though, because he’d have to start re-applying to colleges too soon. Just my two cents.</p>
<p>My adult sibling had Lyme Disease. My advice is to back off a bit. It is an exhausting thing to deal with. Let the dust settle for a while here. CC might be fine but not yet. I like the idea of language fluency but again, I would say not yet. Living by yourself outside the US sounds like too much at this time.</p>
<p>It’s not easy being a parent. Our children, like us, have many twists and turns in the road of life. It sounds like he needs a good plan and some outside counseling could be very helpful in helping him make some life goals and decisions. Our mistakes make us stronger, but we need support to move forward - having goals and then making a plan to get there will really help him. Coaching might help him to understand himself better - What does he love to do? Where does he see himself in 10 years? What initial job or internship will help boost his confidence and give him an opportunity to prove himself? Is there a community college nearby that he can take courses at? Everyone faces challenges with parenting - we never know when and where the challenge will occur. Best of luck to you.</p>
<p>I suggest he enroll in courses at a local university or community college when he is able to try to put together a transcript of success since his recovery and “rehabilitation” from the issues he had at the school from which he was expelled. His internship should also be an asset in his re-application to schools as there may be someone there who can attest to his work ethic and honesty in that environment which is not based on remuneration but on his interest in whatever field or endeavor is represented by the organization for which he is volunteering.</p>
<p>I would also suggest that he plan to address his difficulties at his first college in his transfer essay, speaking to the positive changes in his life since then, rather than focusing on what led him to do what he did, and highlighting the growth he has experienced since his expulsion. It would be helpful as well if he could get a recommendation from a professor or counselor at his old school who was aware of his problems yet who still is a supporter of your son’s talents and strengths and would like to speak on his behalf.</p>
<p>His transfer application essays should focus, too, on why he anticipates continued success in the atmosphere the college to which he is applying provides for students.</p>
<p>Finally, he should not apply to schools before he feels strong enough to pursue new goals in a new environment.</p>
<p>There are a lot of colleges and universities – mostly public – that are essentially open enrollment. This includes but is not limited to community colleges – but basically these are places where any adult can sign up to take classes. Also, many selective universities have extensions that offer college credit courses – again open to all takers. Some of these are distance or online courses, which might be a good idea for someone on the mend with Lyme Disease. </p>
<p>I think your son should consider enrolling in college course via an appropriate, open-enrollment type institution- and focus on his own learning for now. That is, his goal should be to continue his education, not worry about what the next step will be. I say that because his options will sort out over time and they may change depending on circumstances and depending on his goals.</p>
<p>As a parent who has been through some tough times with a son, I really sympathize with you. Right now the key is to help your son get healthy and settle in with the therapist so that he can learn some better coping mechanisms besides cheating. He is probably pretty depressed and suffering from very low self-esteem right now. It is a huge blow to go from admission to an elite school to being booted out and working at a restaurant. Keep an eye on his mental health as best you can. Boys don’t always show how badly they are hurting.
Once things stabilize and some time passes (at least a year), I would take a look at large state universities. With some documentation from the therapist, this could be a good option and still provide challenging academics.</p>
<p>He’s learned that it’s better to fail a course than to plagiarize; a terrible way to learn this, though. I’m so sorry. </p>
<p>Yes, there is hope! It sounds as though he’s already moving forward, between the internship and working, and with therapy, too. That’s a great start. Since he has no social life right now, I hope he will seek out his high school buddies when they are home for the holidays. There may be an awkward minute or two when he tells them why he’s not in school, but I’d bet they’ll rally around him. </p>
<p>And what the others said; I see some great ideas up there ^^^. </p>
<p>You and he will get through this; stay strong, and good luck.</p>
<p>And this?
Think he’d be willing to teach my soon-to-be-exhusband how to do this? The 2bx still hasn’t learned, so your son at his tender age has plenty to teach others!! (Good for your son!)</p>
<p>I would repost this in the Parents Forum, because more people will see it there. Does he specifically want to transfer into New York University?</p>
<p>Thanks for the advice. We are a close family and my son is humiliated and really seems sincerely sorry for all that has happened. As you know, with tuition being over $54000/yr, we have all sacrificed for him to have such an opportunity. </p>
<p>With all the AP classes that he has taken as well as summer classes he is well above credits for that of a sophomore. I’m not sure if all of that has been wasted. I hope some of the credits are transferrable.</p>
<p>I don’t think he is physically or emotionally well enough to even consider completing an application. I feel like he needs to be with us right now and we need for him to be close, so we can all heal together. I worry that he may become depressed and isolated. </p>
<p>He is quiet and causes no problems at all. Every now and then, he opens up and talks about his desire to return to school, someday. Right now, he feels such shame, he is almost paralized. I hope therapy will help him with that. I think if he realized that it is not impossible to overcome this, it would give him hope.</p>
<p>As much as I want him back in school, I realize he has to find his way. It is just so hard.</p>
<p>Skittled is probably right. Have him attend CC for a time and get his academic feet back under himself. Then when he has a good track record he can see about transferring.</p>
<p>He should take a year off and get well. He’s working, gaining experience with internship --those are the best things he could be doing right now–he is on the right path. There are many others who have done what he has, (and worse) but didn’t get caught (or didn’t get caught until after college). The fact that he has taken responsibility is to his credit. I am sympathetic to the fact that he was injured, ill, and stressed at the time of the incident. He can be forgiven.
I think there are a lot of colleges, especially public ones, that will take him as a transfer next year.</p>
<p>I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I know very little about it but I had heard that Lyme disease has a strong link to psychiatric illness - I don’t know if this is relevant to his past year’s difficulties but it might be something to keep in mind in determining the next step.</p>
I’m so sorry. </p>