Failed Math 105 class, how to tell parents?

Parents Forum
21

Current odds are that my son fails one of his 3 remaining classes. Hopefully he will get all Cs.

But, he has college credit from AP, so in the long run, we won’t be “paying more” unless he fails more than one class. And he will certainly be warned very strongly that if he fails one, he is on probation from us even if the university will let him slide for one F.

Is the question money, that your father wouldn’t want to pay for more classes, or is it really that if you take 4 classes in the spring including Math 105, you think you can’t handle it and will fail at least one again?

Because if it is the latter, you have a major problem. 4 classes per semester is standard, and 3 classes but failing one is way behind schedule. Would your father pay for an extra year of college? If you fail one course per semester, that is 8 courses failed over four years, but if you are only taking 3 courses per semester you won’t be on track to graduate even if you pass them all.

You need to rethink the whole plan. Working and going to college full-time is difficult. I agree that perhaps training to be a paramedic (do you already have training? Have you emailed about possible paramedic jobs in Hawaii?) and moving to somewhere you want to be would be might work out better for you.

But you need to have a plan. And if you are 18 or over, that has to be your plan, and if your parents help, great, if not, they don’t have to so move on.

Good luck.

22

[OOS tuition](Honolulu Community College (HCC, Honolulu CC, HCC) Introduction and Academics - Honolulu, HI) at Hawaiian colleges is ~$7k/year. With books, fees, housing, food, transportation, car insurance, and personal expenses the figure will likely be much higher. Honolulu Community College estimates that it will cost an OOS student almost $22k/year to commute to their school. How will you pay that?

23

Get the paramedic degree here. Worry about Hawaii later when you have a degree and a way to pay for your living costs.

24

Dude, if you can’t focus now, how the heck do you think you’ll be able to focus on finishing your degree in Hawaii where there are so many more distractions. Here’s the deal. Do you research on when you can re-take the failed course. Tell your dad you are going to schedule to retake that course and will pay for that course. Also just state that you learned your lesson and do agree with him that pursuing the degree is the right way to go. Thank Him for giving you that advice and let him know you’re better off for your experience because it really taught you a lesson. My biggest advice is for you to finish your degree here then move to Hawaii. It’s only a few years of your life and your dreams can wait. Personally, I think you’re getting on the right track simply by the fact that you are posting on this board. Most kids wouldn’t care enough to be asking advice from random Parents. Good Luck !!!

25

Told my mom last night and she wasn’t very happy. But I told her what I plan on telling my dad, and she’s obviously not happy but she’s trying to help me figure out what the next step is. I’m focused on the last 2 finals right now.
The reason why I wanted to go to Hawaii for college (Kapi’olani, by the way) is because if he starts making me pay for tuition I may as well move because he will start making me pay rent as well, and if I’m doing that I might as well move. Paying for retaking the class is a great idea to offer I will for sure be doing that.

26

@mommdc , you posted exactly what I was going to say. Offering to pay back the tuition would show that you understand that it was your mistake, and that you’re taking responsibility for your own actions.

OP, one other thing really stood out in your first post: " Now I have 2 jobs (working 45 hours a week), 9 credit hours, I play hockey, do jiujitsu and go to the gym. "

I understand how tough it is as an adult, not having the time to do all the things you would like to do. But the reality is that adults have conflicting demands on their time, and something has to give. So, sure, it would be great to sit down and do a Survivor marathon. But I have 3 kids, a husband, and a full time job. On the long list of things I want and need to get done, a TV marathon is at the very, very bottom.

I think you have to learn to prioritize.

The idea of triage is a good one. Sit down, and look at what has to be done in each of your classes from now until they end. The idea is to determine how to get through as many as possible. So if math isn’t going to happen, then put maximum effort into those classes where your effort can still pay off.

It sounds to me as though dad really just wanted you to grow up, and as though that hadn’t happened by September. What he wants is for you to make your own future a priority, and not the gym or jiujitsu. He looks into the future, and is worried that he’ll be ready to retire but will have a 35 year old still on his couch playing video games all day.

It’s time to prove to dad that you’re an adult, that you’re taking responsibility for your future. What are you majoring in? Where do you hope to be in 5 or 10 years? What have you done to make that possible?

eta-- I’m sorry, you want to go to Hawaii for college?? Unless you live there, how on earth are you planning to pay for plane fare? And for cost of living in a very, VERY expensive place???

27

It’s time to be honest with yourself and think about whether you can seriously put in the amount of time to financially support yourself while being a student. Living in Honolulu will be more expensive than staying at home even if your parents charge rent. If you skipped six weeks of school because you were bored, you’ll do the same thing when your parents aren’t around.

You need to have a serious plan for the next semester that you can present to your parents. Work fewer hours, go to every class, and figure out what classes you need to take or retake next semester.