<p>I am currently 16 and in Community College after taking the CHSPE. My parents have in mind that I transfer to a UC and then get at least one graduate degree. (They both have at least one doctorate)
After being pressured by my parents for so many years (I never got anything less than an A) I am incredibly bitter towards education. I can't fathom the thought of more schooling. I am planning on dropping out of CC the day I turn 18 and working. I have a job lined up that makes a fair amount, so I'm not just being stupid.</p>
<p><strong>I have so much anxiety and am so bitter towards education that I refuse to continue past the point at which I have to</strong></p>
<p>My parents are forcing me to take the SAT in the fall (even though I don't need it to transfer) and are constantly pounding it into my head that I have to go to uni then grad school and excel in every way.</p>
<p>I am so done. I can't stand another 1 1/2 yrs of this until I'm 18. I feel completely stripped of my curiosity after being pressured for so many years. I used to want to be an engineer. Now I'm going to be an auto mechanic. I'm looking forward to this, though: no more being defined by how much education I have or am going to get.</p>
<p>What can I do to cope and get my parents off my back? I've tried talking to them but they just yell.
I feel bad lying and saying that I'm going to transfer.
And what do I do about transferring? I have to send in my application before I'm 18... They will MURDER me if I don't.</p>
<p>Any parent comments? Similar situations?
Thanks</p>
<p>You might be happier when you are living away from home at college. Is it possible to apply and get accepted, then take a gap year? Not sure if the UCs allow this or not, but it would be one option. It would be cutting of your nose to spite your face to skip college altogether. And a VERY expensive move to remove yourself from your parent’s financial support and figure you will just pay for it yourself later for some reason. Honestly, your post sounds pretty immature to me.</p>
<p>@TheJHUenthusiast: I appreciate that you think I have high potential, but in my opinion your response seems generic and a bit rude.</p>
<p>Honestly, I do not have a “dream job”. As long as it pays the bills and for a computer so I can write, I’m fine with it. My “dream job”, if I had to pick one, would be novelist, but that is not realistic. I have written over 25 short stories and am working on 2 novels (halfway through one). Writing is one of the few things I enjoy. </p>
<p>You most likely don’t understand what it was like to be yelled at for not getting a “gold star” in the second grade. For getting a B+ on ONE assignment in the 6th grade. For getting an A- on a 10-point quiz. I am so burned out at this point. It has gotten to where I actually feel lightheaded and hyperventilate at the thought of a test or quiz.</p>
<p>You are letting your parent’s bad behavior drive you to make a choice that you will almost surely regret later. Suck it up and finish your CC work, then transfer to a school where you don’t have to live at home.</p>
<p>Thank you for responding. Taking a gap year is possible at a UC. I was considering it for a while, but when I mentioned it to my parents they called me a “*<strong><em>ing stupid *</em></strong>h” and said that I was useless… See below. As far as “financial support” goes, I currently have a job that pays from 20-30 dollars per hour. Like I said in the OP, I have thought it through financially and worked out a budget. Supporting myself would not be the biggest issue here.</p>
<p>I won’t retype this again. Quoted from my other response:</p>
<p>“You most likely don’t understand what it was like to be yelled at for not getting a “gold star” in the second grade. For getting a B+ on ONE assignment in the 6th grade. For getting an A- on a 10-point quiz. I am so burned out at this point. It has gotten to where I actually feel lightheaded and hyperventilate at the thought of a test or quiz.”</p>
<hr>
<p>I had wanted to be an engineer, previously, but now the thought of more schooling terrifies me. I honestly don’t think I could do it without having some sort of breakdown. </p>
<p>You came out here looking for advice. I will say again, you are letting your parent’s bad behavior drive you to a stupid life decision. You don’t really want to be an auto mechanic, you want to get back at them. Well… you may “show them”, but you will be sorry in 10 years. </p>
<p>@intparent
I appreciate your interest and responses.</p>
<p>I do not want to get back at them at all. Honestly, I couldn’t care less. They made a mistake by pressuring me, yes, but what’s done is done. There is no need to “show them”: it won’t change the past, and I don’t want to destroy our relationship in the future.</p>
<p>What wasn’t conveyed in the original post was that I don’t want to let them down (and, to be honest, I’m a little afraid they’ll disown me), but the thought of more school terrifies me. </p>
<p>I was considering getting great grades in CC then taking some time off (years) to work and get a break from school and then go back, but just earlier today I mentioned that a friend had done that and my father proceeded to swear at me that if I ever did it I was stupid and would never make anything of myself.
They would react terribly if I did that, as well. If you aren’t too burned out, any advice as to how I can deal with that? Or break the idea to them?</p>
<p>I am female, if this makes any difference. It seems that families often put a lot of expectations on first-born daughters.</p>
<p>I asked how I could break it to them, what my options are, any help with getting over the immense anxiety I feel, and whether or not anyone else, as a parent, had any advice as to how you would feel if your child took several years off and possibly decided not to get a grad degree.</p>
<p>My intention when I posted was to get advice. </p>
<p>@emmemango I wasn’t trying to be rude. My parents expected straight A’s they were yale graduates. I grew up under strict terms. Tell your parents the way you feel? I don’t know what you want us to tell you?</p>
<p>I suggest you might benefit from counseling. I don’t know if your parents will support your desire to speak with a counselor, so check with your community college, I bet they have a counseling staff. Make an appointment and talk out your situation with a professional. A counselor can listen and have a rational conversation with you about choices for your future.</p>
<p>“You can always quit later.” That quote has helped me through some difficult times, it seems to give me the choice each day to move forward, knowing that I can quit if I want to. Are you feeling that you just don’t have any choices in life right now? That your parents are controlling every decision?</p>
<p>Are you part of a culture that is more tightly knit, where parents are traditionally more involved in making choices for their children? If so, that can make it even more difficult to try to talk rationally with them.</p>
<p>You need a well thought out plan before you proceed. Getting input from a counselor or a trusted adult. In the meantime, it might be easier for you to “smile and nod” with your parents. Don’t rock their boat til you are all set with an alternate plan.</p>
<p>OP, seek some counseling to fix your bitterness about college. You seem like a bright student and getting your Bachelors degree by 20 can put you at a great start in life. Don’t let this opportunity go to waste because later in life, you’ll end up going to college anyway after you get tired of working at the useless job you can get at 18.</p>
<p>Emm i understand where you are coming from, and i hope you succeed in whatever decision you make. I think you should get away from your family though,and take a break from education it seems like you are at a breaking point with it. Good luck </p>
<p>Unless you want to be declared independent, and I do think you have a case for it, keep going until you are 18 then do what you want.</p>
<p>The problem may be that you are going to a CC, many CCs are terrible.</p>
<p>On the other hand, if you can apprentice as an auto mechanic while you are going to the CC, start as soon as possible. See if you like it. I have no issue with a bright young person becoming an auto mechanic.</p>
<p>No one can tell you what to do. You aren’t throwing anything away and you don’t need professional help. You need to get away from your parents.</p>
<p>Take the minimum courses, and if they ask you about transferring, say “I’ll decide about that when I am 18” even if you have decided already.</p>
<p>Good luck, I had one terrible parent and had to break communication with her for several months. I found out from a close friend that SHE was the problem, not me, and SHE needed counseling, not me.</p>