Family Issues / Alcoholism

<p>I'm sorry that this dosn't have much to do with college, but hopefully somebody can help me out with this.</p>

<p>This year I have been staying home and commuting to school.</p>

<p>My parents separated when I was young (2nd grade), due to my father's chronic alcoholism. The last time I spoke with him was the summer between 5th and 6th grade, and it is my understanding that his alcoholism is still very bad.</p>

<p>During high school I usually didn't spend that much time at home with my mom, but now I am not as social as I was in high school because all of my friends went away to college. I never really noticed that my mom drinks every night, but she does and has for a long time. She dosn't get drunk, but she usually has 3-5 servings of alcohol, she's about 100 pounds if that makes a difference. She also smokes (cigarettes) in secret, even though she "quit" about eight years ago.</p>

<p>I'm having trouble identifying if there is a problem with my mom, and if there is, if I can do anything about it. I know that it's not my place to tell her what to do, but I still can't help but feel bad about it.</p>

<p>I've tried bringing up these issues a few time, but it becomes really difficult. She brings up substance "abuse" issues that I had during high school, which were really more of a social thing that I don't think she understands. I also don't think whatever issues I may have / have had are relavent, and they certainly don't justify whatever problems she may have.</p>

<p>I can't help but feel guilty about this, even though I know it's not really my fault. I feel like it's my job to rescue my parents (both my mom and dad), but at the same time I have my to deal with my own life, and I kind of powerless to make any change.</p>

<p>My sister (and only sibling) has some issues as well, but she has been working very hard on them and makes progress every day, but still has problems.</p>

<p>I will be away from home for Spring 07 onward. The distance will probably help me, but I don't know what to make of the whole situation.</p>

<p>Does anyone have advice for me?</p>

<p>The Alcoholics Anonymous organization has a program called Al-A-Teen with advice and support for the children of alcoholics or alcohol-dependent parents like your mom.
A lot of points you identify in your post, such as feeling responsible and powerless are shared by other children of substance abusers.
Can you google them up, perhaps find a chapter near you or at least web advice?
Best wishes.</p>

<p>I think I'm going to give that a try. It's been suggested to me before but I haven't considered it until now. I'll tell my mom that I am going to the library because letting her know (at least for now) that I am going might cause some unnecessary issues to come up.</p>

<p>Thanks so much!</p>

<p>best of luck to you. situations at home are the most difficult to avoid, put off, and deal with.</p>