<p>Hey everyone, this is my first post here at CC! I just submitted my UC applications for Berkeley and San Diego. I'm beyond anxious and was wondering if you guys could read my essays and let me know what you think. If anything, your critique will help with my Stanford application. Thanks!</p>
<p>EDIT: Apparently no one posts their essays so PM me if you want to read them! :)</p>
<p>I mean there is really isn’t enough time to change anything…</p>
<p>1st paragraph isn’t that personal. I don’t really get to know anything about you from reading it. Talking about flawed world is too generic and I don’t think it is a good subject in general.</p>
<p>2nd paragraph. IPO is a stock launch, your lemonade company had a stock launch? </p>
<p>Both paragraphs. Way too many things going on. You say a lot of stuff but it doesn’t seem related. Like the learning to code HTML and two paragraphs later talking about clothing company. I do like that you are putting fourth the best/most traits you have. It is a lot better than what most people say in their statements. Plus the stuff about starting your own clothing co, etc. is lot better than most people. If you really focused and went deep into the clothing co and really focused that as your statement 2, it would have been a lot more powerful. </p>
<p>Overall, depending on your grades, you could be able to get into UCB and UCLA with these statements.</p>