Feel like my grades are so bad I have no future, feeling lost.

College Search & Selection Community Colleges
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I am a sophomore in community college and I stay messing up.
My first semester, I had no idea what I was doing and upset that all my friends were out partying and living on campus at these beautiful universities and I assumed since I went to community I did not have to try. Boy was I wrong. I ended my first college semester with a 1.2 GPA. I decided second semester, I really need to get my st together or else I would not be able to transfer to a UC (the reason I went to community in the first place. I was a good student in high school (3.3 GPA) but not good enough for UC’s. I started the year off strong, but took on a heavy load of 16 units while working two jobs and trying to maintain a social life. Surprisingly, I was able to handle it until one day in February, I was leaving school and a text-and-driver rear ended me getting on the freeway. I ended up getting a pretty bad concussion, and I had one teacher say I had to come to class (cannot miss more than 3) or else I would be dropped. I went to school with a concussion, since I was not resting it took me a few months of recovery. I could not focus on school, and I started to get severe migraines to the point where I thought I was going to pass out. I have been diagnosed with anxiety since junior high, but after the accident I developed a panic disorder which disabled me from doing many every day activities such as homework and my waitressing job which use to come as second nature to me. I ended that semester with a 2.8 GPA. Still a significant raise from my first semester. I took summer school and got a 4.0. I thought I was heading down a good path. Then this fall semester was literally Satan. I do not even know who to describe how this semester made me feel. One month into school, I got bronchitis. But the doctors would not diagnose me with bronchitis. Instead, they told me the chest pain was just from anxiety and that my cough was from a common cold virus going around. I had such terrible chest pain, I was in urgent care almost every week. Then they took 2 EKG’s, blood tests, chest x-rays, and diagnosed me with having gastroesophagal reflux disease and put me on this weird strict diet. I stuck too it, ate no acidic foods, no coffee, nothing that can cause acid reflex. The pain still persisted and the cough was still present and getting worse day-to-day. The FIFTH doctor I saw finally prescribed me antibiotics and after a month of bronchitis I was better again. Life was good…UNTIL about 3 days after I was off antibiotics and health returned, some a-hole pushed me down twice at a concert because I was in his way during a mosh pit and I got a very severe concussion from the impact of my head hitting the floor twice. I did not realize I had a concussion and finally went to the doctor’s 4 days later, because that is how long I had a never-ending migraine for. They told me my concussion was gone at this point, but I had post-concussive syndrome. Due to the fact that I had recently had a concussion 8 months prior. Those symptoms still have not fully gone away and disabled me for about a month. I spent a month not being able to focus on any school work. I still tried my best and managed another heavy load I decided to foolishly take on (17 units). How far behind I got and my not-so-great academic standing triggered my anxiety and depression to an extreme. When they say depression is disabling, it really truly is. I did not discover that until this semester. I found myself multiple times laying in bed not wanting to be alive and finding it hard to make it to class. It was not until two weeks ago, I went to my professor’s office to discuss my grades that I had a mental breakdown and was walked over to crisis counseling. They are having me go on the disabilities program at school now to help with my anxiety. I think I can handle it when life is not sting on me, though? Regardless, it is a professionals recommendation so I am going to take it and have been to her offices a few times to control my emotions and make it through to this semester. I am still very depressed, and I know my grades will not be the best this semester. I am still in finals, but I already know I have received a D in one of my classes. I am seeing about getting replacement units for it, but since It is not a core class or required for my major the admissions office might not permit it. I am still waiting to hear back from them. SO that is the background story, this is the question:

Is there any hope of getting into a decent college as a transfer? I am probably going to stay an extra year at community, because I want to be a bio major and messed up did not take the right classes.
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I wanted to be a pediatrician, but I believe there is no recovering from this. NO matter how many mental illnesses, breakdowns and doctors notes stand by my side.

IS THERE HOPE?

Or do I have to settle for a whatever college that requires a 2.5 GPA and settle for a major like business and work in a cubicle for the rest of my life?

This semester literally tore my heart out, all I have ever wanted to do was be a doctor and I do not even know if that is possible. Do postgrad/medical schools care to hear your story?

Help, I am so lost and sad over this. I have no idea what I am doing with my life…

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{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}} fyiscience. I am sorry all of this is happening to you. Maybe, you should consider just taking some time off to deal with your health. It doesn’t sound like you’re in a good place in your life for school right now. Maybe talk to your school counselor to see if your school has a program that allows you to retake a course for a better grade. Again, when you are ready. Seriously think about taking some time off from school and the stresses that it’s causing. But never say never. Did you know that Ben Carson (a world renowned neuro-surgeon), was once told by a professor that he needed to give up any hope of becoming a surgeon. I think you need some time to regroup and then have another go at it. Good luck, sweetie.

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@fyascience I am so sorry you are going through so much. Reading through your post brought back a lot of my own memories from high school and college. All throughout high school and college, I also suffered from severe depression and anxiety, which caused a lot of health problems, including gastrointestinal problems. I was a great student in elementary school and middle school, but ended up doing badly in high school. I started in a community college and just like you had a nervous breakdown during my sophomore year and decided to take a break after the first semester. I worked for a while and became more independent, worked on myself physically and emotionally, and eventually went back to college. I later received a undergraduate degree in chemistry, and eventually finished my doctorate in pharmacy. I am now a successful adult and a parent of 2 teenage girls, one is getting ready to start college next year. I just wanted to tell you that this can all change, so I agree with @evermom1 that you should take some time off to deal with your health issues and reevaluate your choices. You might need to change your path for now, but to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, hard work, determination, and dedication. Good luck to you. :slight_smile:

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It’s going to be incredibly difficult to get into a “decent” college, though I suppose it depends on what you consider decent. At the end of the day, colleges want to admit people who are prepared to handle their workload, and unfortunately you haven’t been able to accumulate much evidence that would show that. It doesn’t really matter how much you can explain away this D or that D, for whatever reason you haven’t been getting good grades, and so there’s no reason for a college to assume that you’ll be able to do so in the future. It sounds like you’re having a lot of bad luck, but ultimately the burden is on you to work through that and get the marks one way or another. Otherwise, colleges aren’t going to see what’s in it for them when it comes to your application.

I think you ought to take some time off and figure your life out a bit more. Work out your health problems. Decide on what you really want to do, and make a realistic plan for doing it.

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@fyascience I am sorry if this will sound rude or insensitive, but I think you should consider a change of major/career goal. My sister is currently doing her undergrad in Bioengineering and her preparation for college started in middle school, way before it was time for her to even think about her future. She carefully planned her AP classes throughout high school, and last year she got into UCSD with 4.9 gpa and 8 stellar ECs (volunteering for several hospitals, red cross, etc). I am telling you this not to make you feel bad, but to give you a reality check. Kids, who plan on becoming doctors start working their way into med school early. Pre-med majors are VERY competitive. Suppose, you get into a 4-year institution for bio. How are you gonna handle stress/anxiety there? You think CC (with an average ratio 1/40) is hard and stressful? Then how are you gonna survive competing with 150 - 200 students in your class at a school like UC in a cutthroat environment? They curve, you know… Switch to something you can manage easily. Not necessarily business, maybe something in a medical field with a little less stress. Best of luck to you.

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@fyascience Do not worry. (((hug)))

Do not worry. Seriously: Do. Not. Worry.

You are fine and you will be fine. So . . . .as a mom I’d say: take time off from school and try doing something completely different. You can find programs that might interest you at volunteer.gov; the Student Conservation Association, or Americorp NCCC or Fema branches. These are low-paying or non-paying internship opportunities that may interest you. They provide a wide variety of experiences, contacts with future possible employers, and just plane fun. You could also try “volunteering” abroad. There’s a website called workaway (dot) info that lists places around the globe where you can volunteer to work. Usually they are businesses or farms that need a little help. You don’t get paid, but you get room and food often. and the hours aren’t so bad that you can’t make a little money on the side to pay for your next trip someplace else.

After you work awhile . . . . I’m sure that your head will clear and you will get your priorities organized–whatever they may be. Also, remember brains of many kids don’t mature before age 25 so don’t compare what your friends are doing to what you’re doing. People don’t all grow tall at the same rate nor do their brains mature at the same rate. You will have a chance to figure this out.

When you’re ready, then go back to school. You’ll know when you’re ready when you say: “Darn it, I want so badly to read and do my math and get As. And man that’s all I want to do right now.” It will happen. Don’t worry. Take your time.