<p>Oh here we go. Hungry = entitlement. Only on cc is it considered excessive privilege for parents to make sure their kids eat. </p>
<p>I think the OP’s anger is understandable and telling him to just get over it is unhelpful and naive. After he pays off his student debt the OP will have years to figure out in therapy why his parents cut him loose and did not seem to him to care whether he starved. </p>
<p>OP: where are you living? Is there an advisor at your school that you could ask for help.</p>
<p>I am sorry you are going through this. I can’t justify why your parents are not helping more, but you just need to focus on getting through college and doing well. </p>
<p>Have you looked at ways to reduce your college costs? Maybe you can apply for a RA position and get free room/board? Do you have an internship or job this summer? Have you researched scholarships and applied? </p>
<p>There are a ton of ways to reduce your debt. I know you would prefer more help from your parents, but obviously you need to move on and focus on what is best for you. $50k is too much.</p>
<p>I am a parent and am absolutely flummoxed as to why parents who can afford to pay for their child’s education would not do so. I think I am more perturbed also because of where i come from, here in India, it is moral duty if that is the right word, to do the best for your child.</p>
<p>And I also understand and agree with teaching one’s child to be independent and responsible, also that we absolutely do not know the reasons for parents to be like this. But given that what we know, the child’s side of the story it is really hard not to feel sad and angry.</p>
<p>How can a parent not want provide for a child to have enough to eat, want a good degree for the child “since they brag about it” and not want to contribute the best they can. $40 a month on food, hello that would be enough if you were living in India. Your anger and bitterness is totally justified. However I like your spirit to not give up and all I cay say is sometimes we have to go through tough situations just to learn the life lesson that “I am never going to be that person in my life ever.”</p>
<p>So here is hoping when you go home at the end of this semester, sit down with the more sensitive of the parent, I guess moms fit that role well, and have a heart to heart with her with the tough times you are facing and understand from them if just getting influenced from others is the reason for not contributing or is there more to the story, and have her get in touch with her maternal protective instincts and see if it helps. I am hopeful you should be able to negotiate (maintaining a minimum GPA or taking a loan from them or increase their contribution) if what you said that they call you and talk nicely, maybe there was a miscommunication of how much one should not pay rather than not pay at all or meagre 3000k. No harm in trying…</p>
<p>Sometimes I feel an overwhelming rage for the parents on CC. What kind of parent sends his/her child to school and doesn’t feel the responsibility to feed them? The OPs parents make enough money to help with college. We have sacrificed to make sure our children aren’t overwhelmed with debt. Instead of bashing this poor kid, maybe offering constructive advice would be a better option.
OP talk to your parents again. If they won’t budge then try to take as many classes as reasonably possible and graduate in 3 1/2 years. Work as much as possible in the summer and save save save. Good luck.</p>
<p>“I think I am more perturbed also because of where i come from, here in India, it is moral duty if that is the right word, to do the best for your child.”</p>
<p>What I meant is we as a society are overprotective and don’t think too much of 30 year old living at home, and ma doing everything, till they are married and even beyond.</p>
<p>No one said eating is an entitlement.<br>
Her other posts say she’s at UMTC, (which costs 21k, incl room & board.) This is the same figure she mentions in #1. She also says elsewhere that her parents are contributing $6000/year.
We don’t know what’s going on.</p>
<p>lookingforward - I agree with you that the facts aren’t adding up. I’m guessing the $40/month is for extra snacks over the meal plan. I am also guessing that the parents have to be co-signers on the $50K in loans. I don’t think we’re hearing the whole story.</p>
<p>Save every receipt and write out a spending diary to review with your parents. Don’t hide anything. Ask them for help figuring out how to budget better. Also have you gone to the health center at school at all or more frequently? Show that to them too.
I am with the other posters that encouraged you to consider getting a job and taking fewer credits to do it. Have this conversation with your parents as an option too. Explain why you do not think that is a good idea but you may not have a choice. Those things may help you.
Are you on a meal plan at school? Would they purchase one for you? That is the other option to ask them for.
Also do you have any money in savings or other property? Make sure you access that. Sell stocks you may have been given as gifts and take money out of savings/ gift accounts too.</p>
<p>Under these circumstances, I wouldbe very angry and frustrated also. I am a parent, whose own parents did not contribute to her education. I think parents often do too much for their kids, and that it gets in the way of them learning independence, but under these circumstances of course the parents should help more. As someone pointed out, this is expected. Otherwise all the kids would be emancipated at 18 and all receiving max financial aid.</p>
<p>YonderMountain, I see you are only 18: you are being overly harsh and self-righteous. What happened in your circumstances does not translate to the OP. And the cost of living and attending school vary widely from state to state. Go back and read our posts and see how you come off.</p>
<p>Sorry, OP, I think these posters are off base when they say to drop out and go to CC. They are being short sighted. You would never get where you want to be doing it that way. Thirty years ago I remember many of us living on ramen noodles and Kraft macaroni and cheese. Disgusting, but it can be done. I can tell by your post that ou are going to make it. And when you do, don’t do this to your own kids!</p>
<p>@redpoint: I’m sorry if I come across that way. I never intended to act like my circumstances translated to the OP (my college situation is highly unusual for a number of totally unrelated reasons anyway). I was just trying to suggest that if the OP feels as squeezed at s/he is describing s/he may be missing some options, since college doesn’t have to be so expensive that you starve.</p>
<p>It does seem unproductive to speculate about the OP’s somewhat strained relationship with the parents or the parents’ motivations.</p>
<p>But the lesson to learn is that there exist parents who have a high EFC but, for whatever reason, are unable or unwilling to pay that much for the student’s college education as the financial aid system assumes. Avoiding situations like the OP’s typically means:</p>
<ul>
<li>The student needs to have the “money talk” before finalizing his/her college application list.</li>
<li>If there is any question about the parents’ ability or willingness to pay the EFC as determined by the financial aid system, then the student must load the application list with colleges with large enough merit scholarships to bring the net cost down as low as possible, and be open to the possibility of attending community college for the first two years and transferring.</li>
<li>Once college decision time comes, the student must then choose a college with costs and debt in mind.</li>
</ul>
<p>For a student already in the OP’s situation, having made the mistake of attending too expensive a college, the following can be considered:</p>
<ul>
<li>Check the college’s withdrawal and readmission policies.</li>
<li>If readmission is guaranteed after withdrawal in good standing, consider taking semester(s) off to work to save money or reduce debt.</li>
<li>If taking courses at community colleges is allowed during the time off the primary school, consider taking transferable lower division courses that meet major or breadth requirements at community college in order to graduate as early and cheaply as possible.</li>
<li>Try to get as many scholarships and prizes as possible (not many for continuing students, but if any exist, might as well try).</li>
<li>If military service is a desirable option, consider taking time off college and enlisting; after discharge, return to college using educational benefits and without the financial aid system assuming that the parents are able and willing to pay. However, check the withdrawal and readmission policies to see if readmission is guaranteed after the length of time of the enlistment.</li>
<li>Consider transferring to a less expensive college.</li>
</ul>
<p>hmmm. not sure where to start. You made the decision to go to that school based on your parents limited help… your decision. Do you feel misled? We can afford to pay for our kids college educations however they will get scholarships ( hopefully) and have student loans, our kids will have some skin in the deal. It means more to them that way. Both of us took out loans and worked and graduated in 4 yrs. Our kids will do the same. We will help somewhat financially but it will be limited. I believe that someday they will thank us. They understand it now and work summers and know that they need good grades and scholarship opportunities. End of story. I am sorry if your parents surprised you but you need to deal with it and move on. I am thinking they might have a story different than yours?</p>
<p>*have a high EFC but, for whatever reason, are unable or unwilling to pay that much for the student’s college education * </p>
<p>We don’t know the EFC here. Or the back-story. 3k in grants this year, some private loans, parents paying either 3 or 6 k. Seems to have room and board included in that $ figure in #1. (You can look up UMTC, which is where she says she is, and check costs.) Maybe we can get some clarification back from OP, later. Her parents may be making monthly payments on those private loans, as well. Wonder if she turned down w/s-?</p>
<p>There’s another thing that goes on, in the psychology of this very common situation. Kids are told that if they work hard and do their part they can go to college. They are often not told “you can’t go to the same great college as your friends, even if you are a better student.” Until too late. Financial situations are not discussed up front, and kids NATURALLY take it very hard when they see they do not have the same opportunities as their friends. That doesnt make them bad people! Many people on these boards just say, tough luck, stop whining. (What do you say to the kid who got into their choice school and can afford it? “Congratulations, thats great, good job.” Those kids would whine, too, if they had the rug pulled from under them) Well, yeah, but I think some sympathy and understanding is in order, also. Life isn’t fair, yes we have to get used to it, but it hurts, and just telling the kid s/he shouldnt feel entitled is downright mean. This is a learning process. And yeah, it does stink.</p>
<p>And in response to ldavis, that’s great because you have already discussed this with your kids. But as you and I know, college is astronomically more expensive than it was when we went to school, and we could work our way through it.</p>