I feel so homesick at my college (2 hours away from home), I have yet to go home because I am afraid if I go home I will have an even harder time leaving again. I’ve been at school for a month now and my mom has come to visit me once. I felt so happy when she was here a week ago. I’m trying to stick it out at least the semester and I’d like to get through the year because I’m on the softball team. However I find myself overwhelmed with sadness and the urge to be home. I hate living in the dorms, there’s parties every thursday, friday, and saturday (which I know is at every school). I cant get switched into the quiet dorm because all freshman living on campus have to live in the same dorm. I wish I knew how to make myself better and not want to be home or with my mom 24/7. Before college I was very close with my mom but didn’t get upset if I didn’t see her for a couple days. It seems like college is never going to end, everyone says college is the best time of your life, but I’m having the worse time.
Please know that this is all very normal and most students will experience some sort of homesickness. Don’t think that you are alone! I agree that you should try to stick it out until the end of the semester. Break it down into smaller goals - not sure if your school is on semesters or trimesters but think of it in two week intervals. Or think of the next holiday. The one constant is how fast time flies and you will be on your winter break before you know it. Most importantly build your own village and reach out to people that can help you on campus. Keep us posted.
if you look around on this website, you’ll find plenty of other posters going through the same thing. Give yourself time. It can take awhile. Set up a counseling appointment on campus. It helps to talk about things with a sympathetic and confidential ear and a counselor can help you with coping strategies as well!
If you haven’t already, try to get involved with clubs and groups on campus. It will help you meet people away from a partying atmosphere and make you feel more connected to others on campus.
I’ve been to the counselor 3 times and I’m on the softball team
Do more than just the softball team. There must be some other interesting clubs. Or does the team keep you too busy to add more? Do you have to put in a lot of hours this time of year?
Can you talk to your coach? Thinking they might be able to offer some support. Are you getting enough sleep?
Gettiing involved in activities/clubs/groups and going to counseling are both positive steps. However – and I’ve never said this on CC – there are some individuals who just aren’t cut out for college dorm life. Some can’t handle change in surroundings, some can’t tolerate living with so many people or so much activity.
You don’t talk about hating classes or college in general, just your dislike for dorm life and being away from your mom, so try to tackle one thing at a time. You can’t change where you live, but you can find quiet places on campus to study and hang out. You can also invest in a good set of headphones for times in the dorm when it’s too noisy or active. Do what you can to make your environment as tolerable as possible. Can you live off-campus next year? If so, plan ahead for it now!
As for your mom, it sounds like you are quite close. It’s natural to miss someone you’re close to when you leave. Do you talk with her? Does it make you feel better or worse? She will always be a part of your life, just not in person on a daily basis. Keep up with the counseling – they can give you useful strategies to cope with the transition.
Good luck!
I’m in the exact same position you are, I hate living in the dorm, and I miss having my family around. I honestly wish I could live with my dad but he’s an hour away. Even though I’m getting more friends, I still feel lonely. I couldn’t hate it more in this dorm but that’s the way it’s gotta be. We’re not always gonna have things our way. And to be honest I can say that by going through this experience we are maturing rapidly. I’d also recommend spending the weekends with your mom at home, it’ll make you feel better after every long week.