I am a freshman and I enjoy college so far, I don’t have any close friends but I am friendly with a lot of girls on my floor. I have tried to stay at school for the most part but I like to get away and go home for the weekend (I’ve only gone home twice I’ve been at school for about half a semester).
However I feel guilty when I go home? I want to go home this weekend to see my high school friends and there is not much going on at my school but whenever I leave college I feel super guilty like I am missing out while my other friends who stay at college are having better college experience even though I don’t go home that much? Anybody else feel this way? I feel like everyone (my friends at other colleges who love it there and are staying and my friends at my school) judge me for wanting to go home.
Do you think going home twice a month is too much? I am only an hour away.
The “right” number of times to visit home will depend on each person. Some students will only go home over winter and summer breaks. Others might go home every weekend. Are some better than others? Well, I’m sure that’s a loaded question, and in my opinion, I’d say that if someone is really trying to develop into a self-sustaining adult, the less time they spend at home during the year the better. Think about it: between phone calls and video chat, how much more socializing do you need with your parents? Weekends are an important part of development that let you figure out how to manage your “downtime.”
So, to answer your question: is twice a month too much? Well, if you’re not going home for any reason other than to “hang out” with your family, then I’d say that it’s too much. That’s half of your weekends while away, time that you could be using to explore adulthood even more.
You can get caught in the “I go home because I don’t have friends at college, but don’t have friends at college because I go visit my friends at home.” sprial.
Let go of the guilt. Your college experience is just that, yours. It isn’t some image from your college website or your vision of what your college friends are doing or experiencing. It is your experience to carve out the way you want to carve it out. Every choice you make in life, let alone college, has pros and cons. You gain something you feel you need by going home and at the same time you give something up. You make the best choice for you, and as long as it is legal and moral and doesn’t hurt anyone, that’s okay.