<p>^I read your post accurately and understood, lmk, and I think most of us did.
My clarification was in response to upthread posts that veered off-track a bit. It happens.</p>
<p>My D was so sad to turn down some of the schools. She was even sad about the ones that she was only moderately interested in to start with. She sent an email to each admissions person she had worked with or who had signed her acceptance letter, was very polite and thankful for their offer, but let them know she had decided to attend elsewhere. </p>
<p>She got responses from several of the people she emailed, and they were really nice, wishing her the best and asking that she let them know if anything changed. One sent a letter with information about a summer exchange program they do asking if she’d be interested in that. While she was stressed about turning down the schools, she ended up feeling so good about the response she got after she sent the notes. It was a great lesson in how to behave in these situations.</p>
<p>gladiatorbird,</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Very sage advice indeed. Even on the CC forum, I try to make it a point to thank people. Thank you!</p>
<p>^Thanks. Very much. 
Son grew quite attached to two of the privates he declined (we did, too). Each “decline” is like closing a door. Writing the thank you emails helped him close the loop, emotionally, and the finality of it helped everyone move on.</p>
<p>the admissions people don’t really care about your kid as an individual (not b/c they are mean, just b/c it isn’t their job)… don’t sweat it</p>
<p>lmkh70,
I think everyone is not criticizing you, but is criticizing me, because I wrote an upthread post about my kid’s 9th grade acceptance, not college acceptance, as a simile to your story. My bad for adding to the confusion. Tough crowd.</p>
<p>Thanks, keepittoyourself, for defending me! I appreciate it :^D</p>
<p>And Gladiatorbird is wise.</p>
<p>DS wrote a very nice note to an adcom that was particularly wonderful. She promised to “hold” his merit aid if he transferred in as a sophomore. He recently emailed her that he is very happy at his chosen school but would recommend her school to others. She made an otherwise middle of the road acceptance stand out. </p>
<p>DS also wrote a nice note to a school that is on his potential list for med school. I am sure the med school will never see it, but he wanted to be able to say that it was one of his top choices when he applies in a few years. </p>
<p>And it may not be a bad thing to state where you are going in the letter. I know we got a ton of postcards, surveys, etc asking where he chose to attend. I am assuming someone is studying those cards to compare themselves to the competition.</p>
<p>I love what Gladiatorbird said in his post about always finding something to say thank you to.</p>
<p>Thanks, lmk.
P.S. This ‘he’ is a she. :)</p>
<p>The alternative is to say “yes” to all acceptances, then simply not show up on day one. </p>
<p>I actually remember feeling the same way; there were some very nice caring admissions people that we actually bonded with during the process and trust me - we were SO GRATEFUL over the acceptance!!! and felt really bad about forcing our son (just kidding) to turn down their offer.</p>
<p>Thank you for this post. It just goes to show there are many wonderful schools and wonderful people representing them. I wish my D could attend many of the schools she was accepted at. At the end of the day, she will choose one. Her thank you notes will help with closure. I think I am more sentimental and attached to some schools than she is. I have both enjoyed and deplored this whole college search thing. We hope to be more settled by April.</p>
<p>Apologies if I misunderstood OP, but your initial post did make it sound like you were going to be the one declining your son’s offers.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Just sayin. And yes I agree with the feeling that it is one door closing. I felt the same way.</p>