<p>I'm going to be a rising junior in the fall and I've floundered socially at my college. I'm a transfer student so it's only going to be my second year at this school, but I've never had such a hard time developing quality friendships in my life as I have there. My dorm this past year honestly wasn't social and many of the people who lived there were continuing students who weren't interested in making new friends. I tried to be proactive and social with them, but I got much less out than I put in. I've made some nice friends in my classes, but I feel like I just don't fit in with them as well as I have with friends I've made in the past. They're good people and we do things together, but I feel like we have different ideas of having fun. </p>
<p>I've had mixed success with making friends through clubs and activities. I feel like I'm friendly and get along with people from clubs during meeting times and activities, but we never hang out otherwise. I've already explored a number of clubs in the areas I'm interested in, but many of them flat out were not conducive to forming solid friendships. The members had this mentality of attending club meetings to complete tasks, but weren't friends outside of the club (and people looked at me like I had three heads when I suggested organizing get togethers outside of the formal meeting times, and this happened in two separate clubs). I also joined a relevant cultural organization that I very much wanted to be a part of, but ultimately found that the members expected people to look and act in ways that weren't how I feel comfortable, and as a result I felt alienated. </p>
<p>I'm definitely getting fed up with my social experiences at my current school. I honestly feel like I just don't fit in at the school socially or culturally. I just assumed that because I was qualified to get accepted and it's a very diverse campus that I would have no issues, and never heeded the warnings people gave me about what this school can be like socially. I just thought that because I had always managed socially at earlier stages of my life that I had nothing to be worried about. Instead, I've found people who are too busy to be social (which is believable to an extent considering this is a very intense school), people who can't be bothered to make new friends because they already have some, people who are snobby or hipster, people who I feel like I have nothing in common with at all, and people who seem very nice and I could see myself befriending except we never run into each other, given the size and activity level of this campus. When my mom came to pick me up from school for the summer, even she noted the things I've said about the school without me saying anything first. I very much feel like a minority here. As I've mentioned before, I do have friends, but I just don't feel like I click that well with them. Even though there were things I definitely would have changed about my first college, I felt like there were more people there who I considered <em>normal</em> and just felt comfortable with. </p>
<p>I'm trying to figure out what to do differently next year. I plan on trying a few new organizations, some of which have people who I'm already friendly with as members who I hope to actually befriend. I also thought about trying to befriend any new transfer students I encounter considering they'll be brand new and want to make friends. Apart from this, I might honestly stop trying to make a concerted effort to make friends because I feel like this school just isn't a good social fit for me. I've never had difficulties like this and have had to make new friends before, but I often just feel like I don't fit in here. It might not be worth my while to try so hard if I at least have friends, albeit not lifelong ones. Any ideas?</p>
