Hi! I’ve been at my college for a couple years, and although I really like the city and I really want to like my school, I just don’t.
I had a really tough first semester socially; my roommate had a large group of friends pretty much immediately and didn’t really talk to me, let alone hang out with me. I met some people in classes, one of whom I live with now, and although I feel like I have a couple more friends now, they’re mostly casual, and none of my friends are ever really interested in doing anything outside of movie nights in one of our rooms. Our dorms aren’t very social either; everyone keeps their doors shut and there aren’t a lot of hall activities. Most of our clubs are extremely inactive or religious in nature, which isn’t bad it’s just not my thing.
I’m currently on exchange, and while first semester this year the friend thing was pushed to the back of my mind because I was just grateful to have people to talk to, it’s come back to my attention now. I feel like I’ve made more friends that I have things in common with here in 3 months than I have in 2 years at my home school. It’s gotten to the point where thinking about going back to my school is pretty much unbearable.
I feel kind of like transferring is giving up, especially because I was originally so dead-set on my school, and it took a lot of convincing for me to be there in the first place. Also because I’m halfway through my degree, I might as well just finish it and worry about doing things and being somewhere I enjoy afterwards.
I am sorry that you are still feeling lonely after two years at your school. You said you like the location, so that is something, aside from your disappointing social life, how do you feel about other aspects of your college? You major, classses, the teaching, etc? How are you doing in your progress toward your degree? Are you on a scholarship that you can give up to afford to attend a different school? Remember, while a social life can be a lot of fun, your primary goal in being at school is to successfully complete a degree.
I get that it is very hard to feel lonely all the time. The thing is that making friends and developing meaningful relationships is an ongoing process and not an all or nothing once in a college life thing. A social life won’t just come to you, you have to be friendly, smile, reach out, take risks, try things, invite, accept the possibility of rejection, and keep on trying. Sometimes you make the best friends in your life in the most unexpected places. Whether you stay at your current school or transfer you will have to do the same things to find meaningful friendships. It will be true after college too.
Change your outlook by changing you mindset from hopeless to hopeful. You can do this!