From the minute I first stepped on to Oklahoma State’s campus my junior year of high school, I absolutely fell in love. I was convinced that Stillwater was where I’d wanted to spend my college career. When I came for another visit my senior year, I didn’t have that feeling again, but I still liked the school. Anyways, fast forward to this summer at orientation, I absolutely fell in love all over again. Now that I’ve been here for two months, I do not see myself graduating from here. Which is exactly why I’m going back home to Texas. Being from Dallas, I thought that a small town would be exactly what I needed. But I can’t help but feel trapped. I’m bored out of my mind. Stillwater is literally a GHOST TOWN on the weekends bc a lot of people (at least the ones ik) drive to OKC/ Tulsa for entertainment. I’m so used to the fast pace of Texas, and big city living, and I have just not been able to adjust here in Oklahoma. It just makes me sad because I really loved it here at one point, but I’m just wondering how is it that one falls out of love with their university?
It’s OK if you don’t love your college. College is a big adjustment, and it’s a lot of hard work.
Have you made any friends? There are a lot of threads lately about kids being lonely. Are you lonely? It’s OK if you are. It’s perfectly normal, and many, many freshmen feel this way. Even at the largest colleges, in the largest cities, kids feel lonely.
Have you already decided to transfer, or is it something you’re still thinking about?
Yeah, I guess you could say so. Partially because I joined a sorority (which I’m dropping due to $$$ reasons), and I have maybe 3 or 4 girls in my PC of about 70 that I actually talk to, but we aren’t super close. Only see each other at events. And I have/had a group but they always hang out without me. But all of my relationships are very surface level. So yes, I’m extremely lonely. And yes, I’m for sure transferring!! Thinking about going to cc back home in dallas next semester before transferring to a texas uni
Here’s an excellent thread I’d like you to read through. It has some tips that may help. http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/2016222-to-those-who-feel-lonely-homesick-friendless-think-they-chose-the-wrong-school-etc-p1.html
The most important thing is to know you are not alone. Even though it seems like people already have their friend groups, they are only superficial. Those friend groups that formed early are already starting to break apart as people meet others and explore new interests.
Think about the reasons you chose OSU - beautiful campus, good professors, etc.
You can still join new clubs and meet new people. Volunteering is also a great way to meet people. OSU has a branch of Alpha Phi Omega which is a co-ed service fraternity. Anyone can join, and they do volunteer work in the community.
I know there are other students looking for friends. Hang in there!
I have to sign off now, but I’ll check your thread tomorrow.
It’s possible that you haven’t fallen out of love, you probably need a bit more time to figure that out. It is likely that you fantasy idea of what college was going to be like bubble has been popped. What you imagined based on brochures, websites, and a couple visits is out of sync with the realities of leaving home, getting used to living with strangers, living in a new place, and learning to do college academics. Keep trying to be involved, and do the best you can academically. This will give you the best options if you decide to transfer. Explore the transfer process and whether or not you can afford to transfer while continuing to make the best of your current situation. Perhaps try some small town things.
College is a privilege. College is hard. Not everyone loves it. It’s a step in life, to help you get an education to help you move toward a desired career.
It is okay to feel sad. You are disappointed that the fantasy and reality don’t align. That can happen quite often in life… Being resilient and learning how to cope and move on within reality is the key. Sometimes that means staying put, sometimes that means moving on. But, before you move on from an affordable option, make sure you give it a good try. Two months in the average lifetime is a blink.
The honeymoon is over. The newness has worn off, you are studying and going to classes. Do you like your college? Do you have friends? If you want nightlife, go to Tulsa with friends, like other students do
It takes more than two months to adjust to being away from your comfort zone. I suspect that if you run back to Texas, it won’t be a cure. What are you running from? What problem will be solved by leaving your college? Will you face new problems if you go back to Texas? You will soon discover that life moves on. Assuming the grass is greener somewhere else is a way to set yourself up for disappointment later on. Stick it out for the first year, then make a decision.
Thank you so much!!! I believe that I’ve met a few members of Alpha Phi Omega, who really enjoy it!! Will definitely look into it, as well as other orgs!! But thank you so much once again!!! I appreciate your words of wisdom!
Me staying here isn’t the affordable option though. Which I obviously knew going into it, but I’ve just thought a lot about it, and see no point spending $42K a year. That’s really just my main concern. Also, just the inconvenience of Stillwater. It’s gotten boring. And just not something that I want/will get used to
It’s normal for these feelings to come and go. Feel free to post back if you’re having a bad day or need other advice. Some of the posters above are very experienced and very helpful.
Edit: written in response to post #8 (before I saw your additional post)