<p>I was admitted to Harvard Early Action back in December. Since the end of January, I have been going back and forward with the financial aid office. My family situation is a little complicated (dad walked out on us four years ago), and they are making it quite a hassle to obtain financial aid, without which I most certainly can't afford to attend. I have been trying to get a noncustodial parent waiver seeing as I don't know where my noncustodial parent is. I've been through this whole process (third party, letters from my mom and I, phone calls, and email correspondence), but everything we've done has been to no avail. I was wondering if anyone here has ever been through this process with Harvard or knows anything I could do to get things straightened out. At this point, it looks like it's just not going to work and I won't be able to attend. I'd really hate to give up my dream school because of the price tag, but I have free options too. Someone please help!</p>
<p>If your school guidance counselor hasn’t involved, get that person involved. You need to find out EXACTLY what Harvard needs, in the way of proof, that it doesn’t already have. And if, after all your correspondence with the university, you still don’t know that, you need someone objective who can speak with the school financial aid office and find out for you.</p>
<p>You need to sit down with your guidance counselor who should call financial aid at Harvard, get the point person on the line to tell you exactly what you need. In my experience, Harvard is very good about these things. If you have a non custodial parent who is well to do and is not difficult to locate–like I can find him with Google or Linked in or with very little trouble, you are not likely to get the waiver and may have to go down the path of going after the parent himself. You may well not be entitled to a non custodial waiver. There have been some cases here exactly as you described where Dad maybe never did get in touch with family and family truly does not know where he is, but the dots are there for anyone to connect and a school would be foolish to give financial aid in a situation like that. You aren’t going to get the money if that is the case. </p>
<p>If your father has truly disappeared and there is no reasonable way to find him–private detective has been tried, and he has not given a dime of support, not a trace of anything for four years, and there is truly a record totally clean thereof you have no idea what he is doing,where he is, he could be dead for that matter, then that is a whole other story, and you need to get your school, your minister, a lawyer (who should be on the case as there are some issues involved like social security, support, insurance, etc) to write the university and tell it like it is. </p>
<p>Like I said, in many cases, the family has made no attempt to find the missing person, or they know where he is but it is just more convenient not to have him in the picture for college financial aid purposes because he ain’t gonna pay but probably could or will refuse to fill out the forms or has already so refused to do so as is his right. That means you are not entitled to financial aid from Harvard or any other school that requires a NCP’s financial statement. It’s not fair to you, or to any such students, but those are the rules.</p>
<p>Sometimes it’s hard for schools to believe that a person can’t be found if there’s been a marriage for multiple years 10+ years. Usually, in such cases, the family can locate the missing person by contacting his relatives. What about your paternal grandparents, aunts and uncles…does no one know where he is? Has he cut his relatives out as well?</p>
<p>Truthfully, you need to talk to Harvard. The school knows what it requires for a NCP waiver. If you have provided everything, then the decison is up to Harvard.</p>
<p>I will say that usually a letter from the custodial parent carries very little weight.</p>
<p>My friend’s husband walked out on the family. Refused to have anything to do with them. But he was a high paid doctor and because of that neither of my friends children got any financial aid from schools that required NCP data even though it was certified to the whatzooie that there was no contact for a number of years. He was g-o-n-e from their lives. The kids got aid from FAFSA only schools including PELL money. When the younger was in his last year of college, the parents finally settled all of the monetary settlements. During that time, she just lived off of the home equity line of credit. So,yes, from a FAFSA standpoint, the kids were in great need, and were so treated. But not a single PROFILE schools would bite.</p>
<p>Thanks for all of the responses you guys. I have been in correspondence with them for over a month now trying to sort this out. It’s like going up against a brick wall. I had a neutral third party (a teacher I’ve had three of four years in high school) weigh in on the situation as well; however, it still wasn’t good enough for the board to see things my way. There has been absolutely no financial support from him for four years now, and as for private investigators we simply don’t have the financial means for that. After he left, my mom cut off contact with that side of the family so we’ve been estranged from that side for years now. In any event, his brother is deceased as are both of his parents. At this point, I’m not sure what to do. They keep asking for more information, but we’ve explained the situation ad nauseam and there simply isn’t anything else to give. Should I have my counselor get involved now? What would she say differently that the teacher did not?</p>
<p>In any event, his brother is deceased as are both of his parents</p>
<p>Be sure to make that point to them, otherwise they’ll think your family can reach him thru relatives.</p>
<p>Yes, you should get your guidance counselor involved NOW. You need someone who can both advocate on your behalf and clarify what additional documentation Harvard still requires.</p>
<p>I have a hard time believing that you are being stonewalled by Harvard financial aid. Every experience I have ever known that has occurred with them, they are very straightforward. </p>
<p>How do you know your father is not dead? Your mother could have been getting social security benefits from him if that is the case for the family. You are all just sitting there in poverty and not doing anything? Have the police and missing person been notified? Your guidance counselor or a social worker should get involved here. Your father walked out 4 years ago and no one knows anything? For all anyone knows, he can be buried in your back yard. I wouldn’t give you a dime either unless you have made some efforts to locate him and get what you are entitled from him, whether it is social security benefits if he is deceased fo the time you were a dependent to child support if he is alive and earning some money. Yes, you may have to pay a private detective to find him, but with a social security number, it doesn’t usually come to that much and the money resulting could be a lot more.</p>
<p>Hype…was your father regularly employed while he was married to your mom? Are they legally divorced now?</p>
<p>OP, it sounds like you need to make a good faith effort to locate your father if you want Harvard to consider him a non-custodial parent. Have you tried searching for his name on Intelius? It’s really not that hard to locate a living person here in the US unless he’s gone completely off the grid. </p>
<p>If your father is truly a deadbeat parent, you have rights, and I have to wonder why your mother hasn’t pursued collecting child support. It sounds like the situation is very complicated, and while my heart goes out to you, your mom is going to need to step up to help you. You can’t expect a guidance counselor or Harvard to do for your family what your mom isn’t willing to do.</p>
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<p>With all due respect, this is not the OP’s job. His mother’s, perhaps - but not the OP’s.</p>
<p>What’s needed at this point is some clear communication with Harvard - and the OP’s guidance counselor (who is not so emotionally invested in the situation) is probably the best person to do this. Find out EXACTLY what Harvard needs from your family . . . and then make a decision as to how to proceed.</p>
<p>It is something that does need to involve his mother. Something is not getting through here. Harvard is usually very direct in telling students exactly what needs to be given to them. 1-2-3. No stone walling. They WANT this to work out. Somehow the OP is not getting what exactly is needed. So I agree that the GC or other adult who can understand what is needed for a NCP waiver should be involved. </p>
<p>You may need to take a gap year to get this resolved. Getting a NCP waiver often requires very specific things that you may not be able to get done so quickly. But first you and your mother need to find out what you need to do, and understand it.</p>
<p>Read post #6. This is exactly the situation the colleges are trying to avoid. They do not want to grant a NCP waiver to someone who is a deadbeat dad but will the reconcile the finances AFTER college is over. NCP waivers are for NCP who are permanently out of a student’s life…forever. There has to be sufficient evidence that this is the case. Harvard has a clear set of requirements for granting the NCP waiver. You MUST do what they ask you to do. So…yes, have your school counselor call them ASAP and get a clarification on exactly what you need to provide. If your parents are divorced, when did that happen?</p>
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<p>With all due respect, why isn’t it the OP’s job, along with his mother (who may or may not cooperate)? </p>
<p>This young man is on the verge of adulthood, and he’s “Harvard material.” He clearly has more on the ball than your average high school senior. And like it or not, he has a relationship with his father apart from his mother’s relationship with this man. </p>
<p>I’m not saying the situation is enviable; it’s heartbreaking, frankly. My father died when I was in high school and, while my mentally ill mother dutifully filled out FAFSA forms for me, she also created a lot of chaos for me in college. I was on my own in pretty much every way. </p>
<p>If his mother is unwilling, and I agree it would be preferable for her to handle this part of the process, he has no choice but to make the effort on his own. If a guidance counselor can help, that’s fantastic, but he needs to be prepared to do whatever he has to in order to satisfy Harvard. It’s entirely possible that his dad, if still living, is not rolling in the dough today. The quicker that question is answered, the quicker the issue is resolved.</p>
<p>I wonder if the parents are actually divorced? It sounds like the dad “took off”. If so, then a divorce may never have happened. </p>
<p>H may also be skeptical because the dad hasn’t been gone for that long. And, unless he’s found a “sugar momma”, how is he supporting himself? He probably could be found using various search devices.</p>
<p>It’s the OP’s job to document, to the best of his ability, his relationship (or lack thereof) with his father. That is all that can reasonably be expected of him.</p>
<p>To the OP…if your parents are not divorced, this could be the issue. While tax filing status has no bearing on financial aid status, I would guess that if your mom is filing “married filing separately” this would make the school wonder. If the parents are still married, I believe this would be her only filing option to file alone.</p>
<p>Well after he left, because my mom doesn’t make much money, we moved back in with my grandmother. I have notarized affidavits (going back four years) supporting this on file at my high school (because proof of residency is required). Would this count as supporting documentation to explain the situation further or am I stuck here?</p>