<p>Pizza Girl is a huge downer.</p>
<p>Frankly, no one who knows a lot about higher ed believes that there is magic fairy dust at Ivy League colleges. They are fine institutions that are very good at many different things; in some cases, the best. But not always. Being literally agog over Ivy means that one isn’t well versed in the wide variety and depth of institutions and opportunities in this country. The more educated people are, the less the Ivy luster means, IMHO.</p>
<p>Lots of kids from all over the US apply to Ivies, lots of kids on CC, who live outside the NE, are consumed with them. And, though I live in the NE, we do have coyotes that occasionally roam the neighborhoods near their habitats. :)</p>
<p>Something’s always going to be at the top of the pyramid, for some.</p>
<p>Full disclosure, I am not as blase as Pizzagirl about school ranking. I do use school ranking to filter out potential hires. That being said, when D2 was deciding on where to ED/SCEA I left it up to her to decide among the top 20s. My secret dream was for her to go to Yale. I paid for 3 trips for her to visit Yale to make sure she didn’t want to apply there (are you sure, honey? really? just take another look, maybe you missed something the first time or second time). I still remember when she told us that she needed few hours by herself to make a decision where she wanted to apply early. She came out of her room to let us know her decision and all of us (her older sister included) said she made a great choice. She decided to go to her older sister’s alma mater, but was afraid to walk in her older sister’s shadow too much. She was very happy to know we agreed with her. She is sophomore at Cornell and is very happy. </p>
<p>I think now OP’s daughter has made the decision, and it is time for the family to celebrate and not look back. It will make her feel good to have her family’s blessing.</p>
<p>Late for the party…but I have read (almost) all 5 pages of the comments. I think OP probably only “needed” 1 page of re-assurance that if it’s her daughter’s decision then don’t second guess, especially in her situation where there couldn’t be too much of a wrong choice. IMHO, the remaining 4 pages, instead of arguing over whether Ivies are the only collegs that are worth attending, could be a discussion about parents’ role in their kids college decision proces and maybe some do’s and dont’s when we try to help. </p>
<p>I think how you as a parent should be involved has a lot to do with what kind of a kid you are working with. Let’s face it. It’s not always an easy decision to make for a teenager, especially for those who are capable and lucky enough to garner many excellent choices. There are so many factors to consider and the desire of wanting to make the “best” choice makes it all that much more stressful. Now, some kids are very hands-on in doing their own research on the schools, reaching out to alumni and other adults for input, making charts of pros and cons… while others would rather work on their science projects than spending time on researching on multiple schools most of which would have little to do with them in a few days. Some kids are “pickier” or tend to have strong preferences of certain elements of their college experience while others are more adaptable and don’t see one way is necessrily better but rather just different than the other. We as parents are here to help them to make informed decisions by providing them balanced view points and dispelling all sorts of myths out there some of which are widely circulated on the CC community. Oldfort’s daughter may be a good example of the “hands-on” and strong minded type I described earlier. My kid is just the other type, who takes college as it is and tries to “get the most out of it”. It doesn’t mean they didn’t have a preference but I did feel that I should provide a little more info or context about the colleges they are considering applying and/or attending, and maybe a little nod or nudge at the right time.</p>
<p>In OP’s case, I think she might’ve done it already but I think it’s worth mentioning. Since the kid is leaning to the choices other than the Ivy, for the sake of balanced approach, especially considering both parents’ less than ideal experience at their Ivies is likely to have some impact on her decision, I’d try to re-assure the kid by telling her that the time is different and just because her parents’ didn’t enjoy their Ivies doesn’t mean she won’t, and that the gut feeling from the school visit should be factored in but is not necessarily an accurate prediction of her experience once she’s there. The financial factor should be discussed as well. Is the difference of both choices significant, as it could vary greatly from one family to another? Should it be a factor for the kid to consider when making her decision? Lastly, regarding “name recognition”, I think it is an added benefit, IMHO, when all things are equal. Of course, all things are rarely equal, which is why the decision can be a tough one.</p>
<p>“Name recognition” among whom, though? NJSue stated it very well. It’s of no concern whatsoever that the general public recognize the name of your school. The general public’s perceptions are based on things like awareness through televised sporting events, not through any examination of quality. </p>
<p>I’m of the belief that it’s only important that the right people know. One school we pushed heavily for our kid was Haverford (though he wound up not caring for it, so it was dropped). It’s a virtual unknown to most people outside the Philadelphia area. So what - the people who matter will know of it. My daughter’s LAC is a top 10 LAC that still isn’t “well known” to the general public on the street. Who cares, though? That’s why I don’t get why “name recognition” among the great unwashed is so important. The people who will matter will know the difference.</p>
<p>Support your daughter in her preference for the non-Ivy and don’t look back. Sounds like a great situation in every way. And many kids this age need to be relatively close to home. There is nothing wrong with that at all.</p>
<p>I think the prestige and name-recognition for the best-known Ivies can be a problem, not a benefit, to be honest.</p>
<p>Her life, not yours. Your life, not hers. And so forth and mumbledy-muck.</p>
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<p>Seriously? We have caste system in the US for where you went to school?</p>
<p>Huh? What are you trying to say?</p>
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<p>Yes. We do.</p>
<p>Congrats to your daughter and her wonderful choices. Hopefully she’s wearing the sweatshirt proudly. I have a son who turned down an Ivy for a top 40 (horrors!) school that was #1 for his extracurricular. He honestly never looked back–he’s proud to have been admitted to the school, but his diploma from his college is his pride and joy, because that school was filled with “his people.” These things tend to work out for the right reasons. Rejoice!</p>