First time trying an SAT essay…help scoring please?

<p>Hi all, decided to try the Official SAT Practice Test for 2014-2015 to take my first shot at practicing the SAT. I've never had any of my essays scored and I don't trust the automated one from the College Board, so I'd really appreciate it if someone would please score my essay and give me advice on how to write these. I'll be taking the SAT in January so I'm trying to improve over the next four months. Thanks so much!</p>

<p>Prompt: Should people make more of an effort to keep some things private? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>Today's society isn't exactly the poster age of privacy. While some argue that thoughts should be kept private, self-expression is the key to a free and just society. People should be able to share their opinions and not have to make an extra effort to keep things private. </p>

<p>The first reason that self-expression is beneficial is that things that are shared can help resonate with others. In State Senator Wendy Davis' new memoir, Forgetting to Be Afraid, she made the decision to share her personal story, one of triumph and one of grief—including a termination of a much-wanted pregnancy for medical reasons. While some decried her personal revelation as over-sharing her personal life, many saw the disclosure as one of inspiration that provided greater context to her filibusters in the state Senate. By choosing to share these personal details of her life, Wendy Davis created an opportunity in which she could connect with voters who may have gone through similar circumstances, an important connection to make with voters ahead of her gubernatorial bid this November. To her, keeping her personal reasons for supporting women's health issues a secret would've allowed what she considered an injustice to continue. By sharing her story, she helped give understanding to a position her allies consider as more fair. </p>

<pre><code> The ability to express your thoughts about a given subject is the hallmark of a free society, one that does not punish you for having thoughts it doesn't like. Some countries go to great lengths to censor their people, such as North Korea prohibiting its people from speaking poorly about the regime. In George Orwell's 1984, Winston Smith cannot express his hatred for Big Brother and the Party, and when he does he is captured and tortured. The inability to express his own beliefs exhibits the oppressive nature of the regime. Conversely, people should not keep these thoughts private as they would then be allowing the oppression to continue. Throughout history, we have seen that when people voice their opinions against injustice and not make an effort to keep them private, oppression falls—such as in the case of the Civil Rights movement.

Overall, while privacy can certainly have its merits, people should not make an extra effort to keep their lives private as sharing what they feel is important can often lead to both personal connections between people who may not have had anything to bond with before and to social change, in which the collective voices of people demanding change can bring about a world they better support and resonate with.
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<p>this is a perfect essay … i say it takes a certain 12 </p>